I just need to put this out there and get it out of my head. I am so done with dh. He is not there for me at all this whole pregnancy. It is as though I am not even pg at all. And here I am, 36 weeks, and I just don't even want to be around him anymore. He works all the time, and b/c it is our business, he wants to and can work all the time, day and night. He works from 5 am until it is time to go to our store, and then he works there, and then he stays late, and then he comes home and gets right back on the computer. Then he gets in bed and is snoring immediately. I have been asking him for months to not work after dinner and that I needed more support from him, and every few weeks he will apologize and say he will do better, but it just gets worse. I feel like the absolute lowest priority for him, and it is so hurtful that I actually don't even want him around me anymore. I feel like that in order to get my head in the right space for birthing, I need to completely cut him and any expectations of him out and just pretend like I am going it alone. It is to the point where I actually don't want him there when the baby is born. I am afraid of all the negative energy will make problems.
He thinks that he is doing everything for the business b/c I am "not doing anything besides the money." Of course he undervalues all that I do for the business and family - you know, everything to do with the money - little things like paying the rent and all the bills and that minor stuff for both home and business.
I think that although of course he needs to do the business, for the next two months, he doesn't need to go the extra mile. He says that he doesn't have any more to give and that he doesn't know how to do what I want. I said that I have been telling him repeatedly - don't stay late at work - don't work at night after dinner - be there for me - but he doesn't listen.
Maybe it is b/c this is our 4th baby, but that doesn't make it any easier. It makes it harder b/c I am older and there are three other kids, and I know how much work it is to give birth and take care of a baby. Plus, I have a pretty good idea of how it is going to be after the baby is born. He will work all the time and I will be at home alone, and what he is doing will be more important than me and what I am doing.
It makes me regret ever starting the business, or hiring him. He is so obsessive over it, such a workaholic, and taking me for granted and always slighting or shorting me for everything else that needs to be done. It was better when he worked for someone else and would just leave at the end of the day.
So thanks for listening to me vent. I think I'm going to go sit outside and cry for awhile. It always feels better.
He thinks that he is doing everything for the business b/c I am "not doing anything besides the money." Of course he undervalues all that I do for the business and family - you know, everything to do with the money - little things like paying the rent and all the bills and that minor stuff for both home and business.
I think that although of course he needs to do the business, for the next two months, he doesn't need to go the extra mile. He says that he doesn't have any more to give and that he doesn't know how to do what I want. I said that I have been telling him repeatedly - don't stay late at work - don't work at night after dinner - be there for me - but he doesn't listen.Maybe it is b/c this is our 4th baby, but that doesn't make it any easier. It makes it harder b/c I am older and there are three other kids, and I know how much work it is to give birth and take care of a baby. Plus, I have a pretty good idea of how it is going to be after the baby is born. He will work all the time and I will be at home alone, and what he is doing will be more important than me and what I am doing.
It makes me regret ever starting the business, or hiring him. He is so obsessive over it, such a workaholic, and taking me for granted and always slighting or shorting me for everything else that needs to be done. It was better when he worked for someone else and would just leave at the end of the day.
So thanks for listening to me vent. I think I'm going to go sit outside and cry for awhile. It always feels better.
