Hey Tara! Thanks for making the thread.
My name is Kathy, I am 40 years old. I have one DS, age 6. I have been TTC #2 since Jan 08 (I was 37 when I started this). Since that time, I have had a 9w loss, then at 17 weeks, 20 weeks and rounding out the losses with another 9w loss back in January this year. This journey has been rough. I have had every test under the sun done and seen multiple MFM docs as well as my regular OBGYN docs and the final answer was "bad luck, if you really want one try again as soon as you can because you're old."
So for the past six months we have been actively TTC and finally got a BFP. Multiple BFP's because I keep POAS every single day. Is it dark? How dark? Is it darker than yesterday? I line them up like little soldiers in the bathroom and inspect them every day and compare to the new one. Because I am bonkers by this point.
The good that has come of this is I can tell my DH and I are so much stronger than just a few years ago. We have differing viewpoints on most subjects, including child rearing, so we have had our share of bumps in the road, but these past few years, which could have torn us apart, have been surprisingly smooth and strong. Hard on me personally, as well as my husband personally (I think he wants a kiddo more than I do!), but together we have become stronger. I am very thankful for that.
I hope this journey isn't just to strengthen our relationship, but to give us another child, which we desperately want.
We don't currently have insurance (won't kick in until Nov 1st because of a move to another state and a change in jobs), so an U/S is out of the question. I am kinda glad I don't have the option. If I did, I would most certainly be utilizing it! Now that I don't have that option, I am just having to contend with calming my brain rather than analyzing data. It might be good for me. I might end up losing my mind with all of you to witness!
I am so glad we are here.