Oh how right you are. I hate how miscarriages take the innocense and joy out of the first trimester especially. Not to mention...make you over analyze EVERYTHING and anything. It's really not fair.
This time..when I found out I was pregnant..I was happy....yet....I didn't feel like I could run around and jump and scream with excitement...because of the fear.
Maybe when I carry this baby to term...next time I'll feel a little less anxiety? I'm not sure. I hope so.
and I still am not telling anyone until way late, like last time. So I guess for me it feels a lot like my last pregnancy, emotionally, anyway. Though I guess this time at least I know I *can* carry to term, whereas before there was the risk I'd continue to keep miscarrying, so I think that does help a bit.
as for me, feeling pretty damn sick this weekend, so that sucks and is awesome at the same time DS has been a mess, was up from 2-4am last night, so that's made it a bit tricky dealing w/ the fatigue. Plus, I guess I get pregnancy insomnia? I had totally forgotten about that from last time but checked some of my symptom logs, and yup, would wake up in the wee hours and have trouble getting back to sleep. But now, DS wakes me up at 12 and 3 am usually, and the second time I am up until 4 or 5, can't go back to sleep! We might try nightweaning soon I think, my nipples are definitely getting a bit sore.