Helps with kids that barely eat but are obviously hungry

[anyuka]

Both my kids 5 & 14mo. are such little bird eaters and bad sleepers. A few bites and then they are done and want to play or whatever. The baby will not sit in the high chair for more than a few minutes. Then I'm chasing after her with food bites while she plays. I make a good breakfast- eggs, toast, etc. they barely eat, then we go somewhere and they are crying/starving. I cook wholesome foods with healthy fats. Or it's nap or bed time and they can't fall asleep because they are hungry and then I have to make them a second dinner. If only they would eat a decent amount then sleep and life would be easier. I feel like my whole days revolves around cooking or trying forever to get the baby to nap. I'm still nursing, but I can tell she's still hungry after. Their personalities are very similar, also body types-thin. Neither of them ever were huge sleepers or eaters. Nap or night time routine takes so long to get them to sleep.

Sometime I feel like I'm gonna lose my mind! What can I do? I wish I could somehow make them eat more. I feel like moods and sleeping would greatly improve. Anyone have any suggestions? Thank you!

[LuminosaJane]

I don't necessarily have BTDT experience, but wondering if you've tried the Dr. Sears model nibble tray? He suggests filling a muffin tin or ice cube tray with nutritious foods with "fun" names like broccoli trees, ants on a log (raisins on a peanut butter celery stick), carrot dippers, etc and letting the kids eat what they want when they want. Though I think this is more of a toddler thing than for a 5yo, your older one might like it. Also, I think it helps to have a week-long view of nutrition rather than a daily one--are they getting veggies and other whole foods over the course of the week rather than worrying about each morsel during the day. Additionally, in our house, there are very few rules about food other than avoiding junk. Consequently, I feel fine about feeding my dd when she says she's hungry rather than worry if it's a "meal" or snack time. So some days she'll pick at her breakfast and then ask for a snack 15 minutes later--I offer her something healthy and don't worry about it. Finally, as for eating and then being hungry shortly there after, will they eat things with a little more protein? Eggs like you mentioned are great--my dd loves beans (easy to put in a container to go), smoked salmon, cured tuna, cheese (I limit this tho), sliced ham rolled up with mustard in a lettuce leaf, soba noodles, hummus with carrots. And for getting them to eat more breakfast--what about toast cut with a cookie cutter into a fun shape? Or maybe a whole grain toaster waffle? Or let them add their own things to yogurt? Or nut butters on the toast? Or smoothies with a bunch of good stuff in there?

Good luck mama!

[Pavlovs]

Dealing with the 14 month old is more challenging than a 5 year old who can understand time a bit. With my 5 year old son, I cut off all food about 45 minutes before bedtime. He is offered a good dinner of foods he likes and is reminded to eat until he's full. He is not allowed to leave the table to play then return to eat more. After dinner is a bit of playing then shower, and after shower he can have a snack. We try to encourage foods with protein to help him stay full longer through the night - yogurt, ice cream, cheese, milk and the like. But if during all this offering of food he chooses not to eat enough then he has to live with that. He quickly has learned that it doesn't feel good to go to bed on a less-than-full tummy.

With the 14 month old, I'd say consider setting her up for better eating habits by encouraging her to sit and eat until she's full. I wouldn't chase her down for food, but instead would give her lots of attention during the meal so she will sit in her high chair longer and eat. Also, try offering her really dense food, like avocados and such, to get her tummy full on less amounts. During the day, my husband is in the habit of giving our 13 month old cheerios in one of those cups with a lid where they can grab a few out but it won't spill, so he walks around at his leisure eating a bit. It's not my style, but it works for my husband. I still am a stickler about keeping him in his high chair while we eat meals and when he's done eating (pushing food away or dropping it on the floor despite my gentle encouragement to continue eating) then I let him down.

Good luck, mama - it's so hard having two to juggle!

[Abraisme]

Originally Posted by Pavlovs

Dealing with the 14 month old is more challenging than a 5 year old who can understand time a bit. With my 5 year old son, I cut off all food about 45 minutes before bedtime. He is offered a good dinner of foods he likes and is reminded to eat until he's full. He is not allowed to leave the table to play then return to eat more. After dinner is a bit of playing then shower, and after shower he can have a snack. We try to encourage foods with protein to help him stay full longer through the night - yogurt, ice cream, cheese, milk and the like. But if during all this offering of food he chooses not to eat enough then he has to live with that. He quickly has learned that it doesn't feel good to go to bed on a less-than-full tummy.

With the 14 month old, I'd say consider setting her up for better eating habits by encouraging her to sit and eat until she's full. I wouldn't chase her down for food, but instead would give her lots of attention during the meal so she will sit in her high chair longer and eat. Also, try offering her really dense food, like avocados and such, to get her tummy full on less amounts. During the day, my husband is in the habit of giving our 13 month old cheerios in one of those cups with a lid where they can grab a few out but it won't spill, so he walks around at his leisure eating a bit. It's not my style, but it works for my husband. I still am a stickler about keeping him in his high chair while we eat meals and when he's done eating (pushing food away or dropping it on the floor despite my gentle encouragement to continue eating) then I let him down.

Good luck, mama - it's so hard having two to juggle!

I agree with this. I'm also not a fan of chasing a kid around trying to feed them. I've seen my best friend do it with her son (because she's always worried that he's not eating enough) and he gets to do what he wants, when he wants. Why should he have to sit still and eat if his mommy will let him have another snack in 5 minutes?

[tangledblue]

DD is the same way. She is borderline anemic and we give her the vitamin/iron supplement a few times a week. I have noticed that her appetite goes downhill and we end up in a cycle such as you described if we skip it for more than three or four days. You might want to have your ped. do a blood test for anemia, just in case. Also, I have found that she is MUCH better about eating meals if I really limit snacks. That old saying "You'll ruin your dinner if you snack now" totally applies to her. Snacks are usually a cup of milk or juice plus a few cheerios or bunny grahams or similar small snack. She is also not usually ready to eat a decent breakfast until 8 even if she gets up at 6:30 (we give her milk first thing when she wakes up.)

[anyuka]

Wow, thank you everyone for your quick responses!! I'm definitely going to take everything into consideration and try to figure a better system out for us. It's just so frustrating to deal with and I appreciate you all letting me vent and making me feel supported. I feel so much better already and more empowered! Thank you!

[anyuka]

Originally Posted by tangledblue

DD is the same way. She is borderline anemic and we give her the vitamin/iron supplement a few times a week. I have noticed that her appetite goes downhill and we end up in a cycle such as you described if we skip it for more than three or four days. You might want to have your ped. do a blood test for anemia, just in case. Also, I have found that she is MUCH better about eating meals if I really limit snacks. That old saying "You'll ruin your dinner if you snack now" totally applies to her. Snacks are usually a cup of milk or juice plus a few cheerios or bunny grahams or similar small snack. She is also not usually ready to eat a decent breakfast until 8 even if she gets up at 6:30 (we give her milk first thing when she wakes up.)

I think you are really on to something here. I've always been slightly anemic too and maybe that's what is going on with them? I've been meaning to have their levels checked. Yes, I think with these kids that limiting snacks would help as well as only letting them them eat at the table/highchair. Thank you for your advice!!

[Melaniee]

We established early on a 'when you leave the table you are done' rule. We have two snacks per day between meals, also at the table. I'm not suggesting you starve your children, but if they leave, the food gets put away. Maybe bump up the next snack time a little so as not to be cruel, but I think it will make the point if you stick to it.

I used to allow my eldest to just graze from a "snack table," but once he entered school it was a habit that had to be broken and his body had to adjust to eating at regular intervals anyway. In retrospect I wonder if he would have been a better sleeper had we more regular meal times when he was little.

So with my youngest we started early with the scheduled meals/eating (not BFing, though! So I guess she did get a few years to "graze."). Though, at nearly age 5 she does have to be reminded "When you get up you are done." I generally give her one chance as a reminder (she's a boundary-pusher and often just wants to do what she wants anyway regardless if she remembers or cares what our family rules are) and then that is it and her meal is over. This tends to happen more at breakfast or lunch as Dc are generally at the table alone and I'm just around in the room. At dinner we eat together more formally and they ask to be excused. I should work on that for earlier meals, too, I suppose.

[shanniesue2]

I've been reading a lot lately that having 5-6 small meals/snacks per day is actually healthier than have 3 bigger meals per day. It doesn't work for us b/c DH and I both work full time and just can't fit that many feedings into our schedule.

However, DS is going through a very similar stage where he seems to be hungry all. the. time. And sometimes he eats a lot, but frequently is up and down during the meal. I really really try to get good dense, protein rich food into him, but he's also going through a picky stage and very often, we resort to a pb&j sandwich (on round bread b/c that's what he asks for). With fruit and veg on the side. If he's not wanting to eat the fruit/veg... we will sometimes offer multigrain chips with salsa. He doesn't eat cheese very well... eats it better if it's shredded. Won't touch avocados. Not really into yogurt. So peanut butter it is. Oh, and I've also found that he eats food better if it's not all mixed. For example, we love taco salad... but to get him to eat it, we put all the pieces of the salad in separate little piles on his plate. And Pasta is always whole grain b/c he often will just eat the noodles when we have any kind of pasta dish.

Anyway, I try to ALWAYS let him have a snack right before bed (sometimes even something non-messy in bed--I know, I know). I'm pretty sure I've read that you shouldn't eat right before going to sleep. But if he doesn't get food in him right before he goes to sleep, then he wakes us up at 4 AM begging for something to eat (I hungry! I hungry!) last night, I sliced up some peaches and put them in a bowl and brought them to bed with us. I'm sure I'm creating all sorts of issues with this... but waking up at 4 in the morning with a toddler who thinks he's starving to death just doesn't work either.