would you hire a nanny if she offered this? xposted in breastfeeding

[rachieface]

So, I have been applying for part-time work (mostly childcare jobs where I can bring my son), and I recently received an email back from one of the potential employers. She has a 5 month old daughter, and said she would be fine with me bringing my 4 month old son--except that her daughter does not take a bottle (they have tried and tried) and thus she has to be cared for at this woman's job. Her boss does not want two kids there.

Anyway, I am thinking about offering to nurse this baby (tandem nurse with my son) for the 4 or 5 hours 3x a week that this woman is at work. Would that be totally, completely weird? I feel like this job would be a good low-key fit for me.

Would you be waayyyyy weirded out if a potential nanny essentially volunteered herself as your wet-nurse? Is this even possible? I still have more than my baby can eat although I may be starting to even out.

Just wanted some other mama advice! BTW, I have not yet met this woman....this is all through emailing due to an online job posting at my former college. So maybe I don't have anything to lose by offering? I'm just not sure....

[MCatLvrMom2A&X]

If you offered the right way then no I wouldnt find it weird.

I would just mention that you are bfing and would be more than willing to nurse the baby as well but that you would never consider doing so without her permission.

Nothing wrong with offering in a low key way and if it dosnt work out then so be it.

[elus0814]

It could go any one of several ways. She might think that you're awesome for offering and take you up on the offer immediately. She might think you're awesome for offering but she's not comfortable with it although it could get you the job anyway because she will know you are very pro-breastfeeding. She might think you're really strange for offering since wet nursing is not something that is practiced much anymore, especially when it's actual nursing and not just donated breastmilk.

If it were me I would certainly consider someone who made that kind of offer but would not take them up on it. I would like that someone felt so strongly about it to think to wet nurse since it would indicate that they are 'into' natural parenting. That said, I would be too uncomfortable with the possibility of disease transmission and medication contamination unless it was someone that I have known for a long time. I don't think I could trust someone I had just met to stay disease and drug free even if they had passed screens before the job.

[GuildJenn]

I'm not really sure what I would think. Probably that you needed the job really badly, and I'm not sure how I would react to that. I'd appreciate the problem-solving skills part of it. But I'd probably hire someone where they could work to my schedule without having to make such a complex decision about a relative stranger. I know that's hard...just telling you that it wouldn't be personal.

[Momily]

In the situation you describe, I'd rather have my child at work with me and feed them myself if my boss allowed it. I bottle fed (for good reason, won't go into that here) and if my choices were having them near me and being able to take a break and do the feeding or having them bottlefed by someone else, I'd want to be the one getting the hugs and snuggles. So, I'd have turned you down and looked for someone who didn't have a child.

On the other hand, if I had a baby who wouldn't take a bottle, and a job that didn't allow the baby to come to work, I might have taken you up on it.

Is this someone you know or will have a relationship with if you don't get the job? If so, I can't see how it would hurt to ask. Even if they're icked out by the idea it won't cost you the job since it seems like you won't get the job otherwise. So, go ahead and ask.

[~pi]

I think the offer, while lovely, has a good chance of being taken badly. It really depends on the person -- did you get any sort of sense from her about how she might react to that?

Other possible options: My DS did not take a bottle and when DH was on parental leave, he would bring DS to me to nurse if I was going to be gone longer than 5 or 6 hours, but they did not stay there all day. Is that a possibility here?

Best of luck with everything.

[ecoteat]

I think it would be very rare to offer that to someone who is essentially a stranger and have them be anything but weirded out by it.

[rachieface]

I wrote her back and offered, explaining that I totally understood that she may be uncomfortable with that arrangement (and not want to miss out on baby snuggles!) and that she should hire the person whom she feels is the best overall fit for their family. She may be completely weirded out, but since I don't know her I figured I didn't have much to lose....obviously either of us could back out of this after the initial face-to-face interview anyway.

I guess I just figured that in if I was in her situation I might really appreciate that kind of offer. So.......I guess I'm willing to risk being thought a creeper in the off chance that it may help her family.

[Path2Felicity]

If a potential nanny offered to breastfeed my child, I would hire her on the spot.

[texmati]

If I had the option of baby being close by, I'd probably look for a nanny who was able to do that.

[Rosehip]

I'd be psyched about the offer - it would be a huge plus. If I had supply/bottle issues, I might very well take her up on it. I think a lot of people might be freaked out, but since having 2 kids @ her office was a deal breaker anyway, you had nothing to lose.

I'm interested in her response...

[maeby]

if i had the option of having my baby be in the office with me - i would take that.

if i didn't and someone had offered a situation likes yours, i would have met you and had you tested for certain diseases, and gone for it! i'm glad you offered!

[momtoS]

I personally would feel strange having someone nurse my baby....especially if I were able to. I am curious to see what this ladies response will be.

[Alisse]

I'd probably want to talk a little more with the mom, one-on-one, to guage whether i'd think she'd be ok with the offer. For instance, if you knew more about her parenting style/philosophy you might be able to quickly tell whether or not to ask. If she seemed like she might be up to it i'd still try to sound as objective about it as possible with the proviso that i'd never nurse her child without her permission.

Personally, i might decline the offer, but i'd love you to death for offering!

[MeepyCat]

Originally Posted by GuildJenn

I'm not really sure what I would think. Probably that you needed the job really badly, and I'm not sure how I would react to that. I'd appreciate the problem-solving skills part of it. But I'd probably hire someone where they could work to my schedule without having to make such a complex decision about a relative stranger. I know that's hard...just telling you that it wouldn't be personal.

I've done some cross nursing for and with friends, and it's a complicated thing. And there is so much emotional baggage in hiring a nanny.

[rachieface]

She wrote back, and the first thing she said is that she loved that I offered to nurse her baby! However, since she really enjoys the cuddles that she gets, the job won't work out. I am not surprised because that would be my exact reaction in her situation.

She asked me if we could meet up for lunch, though! I think I might take her up on it.... I was a little surprised but I assume that she probably doesn't know too many crunchy mommies and we have kids the same age, so why not? New friend maybe?

And I honestly don't need the job very much (I'm just looking so that we can up the amount we put in savings or have extra for trips and stuff), so fine by me!

[texmati]

Originally Posted by rachieface

She wrote back, and the first thing she said is that she loved that I offered to nurse her baby! However, since she really enjoys the cuddles that she gets, the job won't work out. I am not surprised because that would be my exact reaction in her situation.

She asked me if we could meet up for lunch, though! I think I might take her up on it.... I was a little surprised but I assume that she probably doesn't know too many crunchy mommies and we have kids the same age, so why not? New friend maybe?

And I honestly don't need the job very much (I'm just looking so that we can up the amount we put in savings or have extra for trips and stuff), so fine by me!

Yeah what a neat update! a good friend out of the deal sounds just perfect. It would be hard to pass up more nursing time with my LO.

[manleywoman]

Glad it worked out!

[jennybear]

Cool! Glad it worked out!

[echospiritwarrior]

glad it worked out.

cross nursing sounded awesome to me until I had a baby (my friend also had a baby a couple of months later) then I realized that I just couldn't- at least not barring any situation where the nursing mother what hurt or unable to nurse for a short duration.