Seriously limited dummy use - possible?

[Juise]

So.. I never used a pacifier for DD1, and I am not at all crazy about the idea, I have to admit.

This is when I want one - when baby starts flipping out in the car and I can't stop right away, such as on the highway, or when I can't seem to do anything that will make it okay for her to be in the carseat, but I don't want to sit in a parking lot or at the side of the road for hours until she's cool with it again.

This wasn't an issue that came up much with DD1 because I don't often drive places without DH and I would always ride in the back with her, and often nurse on the road. Well, that isn't possible with 2. We have a very small car and there is room for nothing but the 2 carseats on the back of the car, and no room in the budget for a new car anytime soon. I can't even reach but the very top of her head with my fingers, and only barely at that..

She's really generally fine, but oh!! That heart wrenching sob! I feel so horrible thinking that when she cries she must not understand why we will not go to her and hug and comfort her, for some reason we just leave her strapped to this stupid chair. I do stretch back to touch the top of her head (when I am not driving) and talk and sing to her until we can get over, but it really doesn't calm her at all. I feel so helpless and crappy. And then there are also the occasional times when the only real problem is not that she wants to potty / nurse / is wet, but simply doesn't want to be in the carseat, and.. what are you supposed to do? We will stop, and stop, and stop, and calm her down over and over just to have her go back into hysterics when we try to get going. I kind of think really we're just making the entire thing longer and more traumatic and stressful for every one..

But I also don't want to just ignore her cries and go. I want to be able to *do* something. And that is when I really, really wish there was something else aside from mum or dad that brought her some measure of comfort, even though *I* don't like it. I dislike listening to her sob and not be able to do anything about it a lot more than I dislike the idea of a dummy.

Anyone try this limited of use? If I barely ever want to use it, is there any real chance of having her accept it?

[texmati]

Until very recently, my son would only take the paci if he absolutely had to. In the car he'd take it with minimal fuss, and sometimes he'd take it if he was being put down for a nap by dad or sitter. If we had wanted to, we could have continued minimal use or gotten rid of it all together.

[1stTimeMama4-4-10]

I think every child is different, so what works for one won't necessarily apply to another, but here's my experience, and I hope it helps.

I HATED the idea of using a paci at all. I just associated it with terrible parents who didn't respond to their child's needs, and instead tried to "plug them up." Then I had a super super sucky baby who would freak out when she was unable to keep her fingers in her mouth. She also is a carseat screamer. At 9 weeks, we decided to give the paci a try, and it DEFINITELY helped her to fall asleep and also sometimes even helped in the car. We only used it when in the car or when she was very fussy just before she fell asleep, and we would take it out of her mouth when she finally drifted off. My LO is now 4 1/2 months, and pretty much won't take a paci at all any more, and she doesn't really seem to need it.

So I think the answer is yes, you can definitely use it in a very limited way; it's going to depend on your LO's needs and whether she will even take it. Good luck and I HTH.

[Juise]

This may sound really dumb, but, uh.. how do you give a baby a pacifier? I did try popping one in her mouth last night on our horrific 45 minute ride home from the grocery store that is 10 minutes away, and it did not go well.

On reflection I probably shouldn't have tried when she was already uber upset but I was by myself, it was the middle of the night, and I was at my wit's end. I had just picked one up while we were at the store with the thought that maybe we could use it in those situations, though.

Do I need to teach her? Do I need to do this while nothing is wrong at all and then stop when she gets it and offer it to her when she is very upset in the car? And advice would be appreciated I feel pretty silly.

[somegirl99]

This is our plan, very limited use, basically just in the carseat. So far so good...

[Knitting Mama]

A lot of babies, including my Cecilia, simply won't take one, no matter what brand. She has carseat troubles too, and I had the same idea as you. But it never worked out, so we have just had to get used to only taking short trips when it's just her and me, and saving longer trips for when my husband can drive and I can sit in the back seat with her.

[jenfl]

Sprout gets one in the car only because of carseat fussing. At first, I couldn't get him to take the Soothie (the one our LC recommended). So I went out and bought a few types, and he finally took one of those. Then, when I switched back to the Soothie, he had no problem with it at all.

You'll either have to try a number of types to see what your LO likes, or maybe she'll never take one.

[rhiOrion]

So far our limited use of the paci has worked out. At first she wouldn't take one at all. But once she started daycare and started taking a bottle she was more willing with the paci.

We pretty much only use in the car. But I almost always use it then. Frequently when I put her in the carseat she'll start to fuss. When I go at her with the paci she opens her mouth an very very eagerly sucks it in.

At home we only use it very rarely when she's being sort of fussy because she's sleepy but is fighting it.

I think daycare uses it occasionally for naps.

But I think this all varies completely from kid to kid.