I'm glad I found this thread so I know I'm not the only one with this problem! We are not officially hsing yet (kids are only 3 and almost 1), but I have been looking and looking online to find a future homeschool group for us. I think it will be really important for our family to have other hsing friends, as many of our friends and family are not very supportive of hsing. I have not been able to find anything besides Christian groups in our area. I've been feeling really down about that.
However, the other day I found a K-8 charter school in our area (well, 30 min away). Basically the students homeschool, but parents and kids meet with a "teacher" every six weeks to discuss curriculum and progress, I guess. Also, the school offers various once-a-week classes that are (I believe) optional. And extracurricular activities, like putting on plays, science club, chorus, band, etc. So, from what I've read, you can be as involved as you want.
Now so far I've been leaning towards unschooling, but after searching for (future) support networks and finding nothing; I could see possibly being okay with this charter school. Especially since DD is so social and is already asking when can she go to school.
I still need to find out more info (we've got two more years).
But maybe you have something like this charter school in your area? I don't know how common they are...