Wedding Invitation

[cparkly]

This is probably not the right forum to post this to, but I do not know where to put it and I need some advice.

We received a wedding invitation from some friends that are getting married in October. We RSVP'd for DH, me, and DS. Then, we received an email yesterday letting us know that as much as the couple does not want to, they have decided to have an adults only wedding and reception, due to space.

DH was/is good friends (not as close as they used to be) with the soon to be groom. The soon to be bride has always been kind to me and has reached out to get to know me. I am, in general, a loner and am content to care for DS during the day and hang out with DS and DH on the weekends. We do things, as a family with the couple, occasionally.

My challenge is that I have already sent (and they received) RSVP, but we are now unsure if we really want to go. We do understand why they made their decision. But, we do not do stuff without our DS. He is a treasure to us and we really like being with him. We have only ever gone out without him 3 times since his birth 27-months ago.

Any advice on how to handle this? I am not always very aware of what is socially acceptable.

[happysmileylady]

Well, if you are truely not comfortable going if your child can't go, then I am sure that they would really be fine with you changing your RSVP, especially since they didn't tell you "no kids" until after you sent it back.

But to be honest, I don't think that doing something a 4th time without the little one for a few hours would be all that bad. Assuming of course you can find child care you are comfortable with and there aren't other circumstances involved, I would really suggest just getting a sitter and going. There is absolutely nothing wrong with doing something that is for adults only every once in a while. I don't think there's anything wrong with not going either. I just think it's perfectly ok and healthy for our kids if we have a reasonable mix of adults only and family activities in our lives.

[BetsyS]

If you really want to go, and you have a willing babysitter that you trust, then go! It'll be fun, and you'll probably enjoy it.

But, if you'd rather not go, or if you don't want to leave your baby, then just decline. Don't fret over it--I fretted over a decision about a wedding for several months, then afterwards I realized I had wasted a lot of time/emotional energy on it. It wasn't worth it. I shoul dhave just made the decision and stuck with it. It wasn't worth the worry.

[philomom]

At 27 months, I would get a babysitter for the evening. Preferably a close friend or grandma. The wedding is in your town, right?

You could send your dh stag but these things involve dances and drinking.. I wouldn't want my dh to feel lonely.

[Shenjall]

If you've changed your mind about going, then I would reply to their email stating, "thank you very much for letting us know about the change. We regret to inform you that we will not be attending. We appreciate the invitation, and wish you all the best of luck in your upcoming marriage. Lets get together at your earliest convenience". (or some other nicety)

Then send a nice card and gift and thats it.

[2xy]

Originally Posted by happysmileylady

Well, if you are truely not comfortable going if your child can't go, then I am sure that they would really be fine with you changing your RSVP, especially since they didn't tell you "no kids" until after you sent it back.

But to be honest, I don't think that doing something a 4th time without the little one for a few hours would be all that bad.

"Yup" to all of that.

DH and I had an "ages 12 and up" wedding (babes in arms okay), and nobody declined to come. But we would have understood if they had.

[cparkly]

Thanks, mamas.

DH and I talked it over this evening, and we decided to ask nana to have a play evening with DS. I think that we will enjoy ourselves.