Baby Shower Ettiquette Question

[Dichotomy]

A few months ago when I found out I was pregnant, a close friend of mine immediately mentioned wanting to plan a baby shower for me around Halloween.

Fast forward to today.

Im at 24 weeks, and shes only (briefly) mentioned it again, once, and pretty much in passing.

Im a little bit confused, because on one hand I dont want to be rude by asking about it, and having it seem like Im asking her to throw me a shower. But on the other hand, we dont share more than a couple mutual friends, and there are people I'd want invited that she would have no idea about or how to contact them. Plus I'd want to help out in any way possible if she wanted me to.

Now, if shes NOT throwing me a shower...its really no big deal (Im having a family shower and a work shower as well), but I'd want to know either way, so that the few friends I really want to come I could then invite to the family shower...or something.

I just...dont know how to approach the subject, or if i even should?

[Cassaba]

Could you mention the family shower to her and hope it sparks a conversation? Maybe tell her the date and that you hope she can make it (in which case I would think that if she is planning one for you she'd be cued in to talk about possible dates)? I don't know, that's a hard one!

[jessieb503]

IMO, if she is a good enough friend to want to throw you a shower I would just ask her if she is. She could be wanting it to be a surprise? I would just say something to the effect that she mentioned throwing you a shower and you just wanted to know if she still is because you want to help in any way and have a few friends you want to come. Just make it clear that you don't have any expectations and if she is too busy, or whatever, that you want her and those friends to come to one of your other showers.

I know its akward but if phrased right it will just be a conversation. Good luck!

[MegBoz]

I would leave it to whoever is throwing your family shower. You're right - it makes sense for the close friends to be invited to the family shower, but if there will be a friend's shower, they could be invited to that instead. (Alternatively, if they got invites to both, they could make their own choice based on which date and/or location is most convenient.)

Have whoever is planning the family shower just call her up & ask. Make sure you give the names & addresses of the friends you want invited to whoever is throwing your family shower. Tell that person to make sure they get invited to the friends shower if one is held.

That way you don't have to worry too much about feeling awkward & best of all - you can really be surprised IF it happens!

My silly DH forwarded me emails about my family/friends combo shower & I was somewhat bummed. I knew my Mom & sister would throw a shower, but I could MAYBE have been surprised if he hadn't sent that to me.

[Dichotomy]

Thank you for the suggestions.

My mother and DP's mother are the ones throwing my family shower. I think it would be less awkward for me to approach said friend than it would be for them to do so.

I guess I should really just bite the bullet and talk to her.