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September 2009 Moms and Toddlers! - Page 6

post #101 of 455
Congrats tzs! I hear you on the ambivalence. Grey had his birthday yesterday and I found myself reflecting on how I finally feel ready to consider #2 now. If I found out I was pregnant tomorrow, I would pee myself with horror/surprise even though we're planning to start vaguely trying sometime soon. :P

Grey went from taking 2-3 steps at a time to walking unassisted everywhere i what seems like a blink of an eye. I'm a little alarmed by it.

For his birthday, we went to the arboretum (his favorite place) and I let him put every stick in his mouth that he wanted to. And I let him eat dirt. His dad was a little horrified when I told him about our adventures but, hey, you're only one once!
post #102 of 455
I'm red-hot-angry. So flippin' mad. I figure you guys would understand.

We went to Niall's one year appointment on the 20th. We had a nice, long chat with the doc about not doing the flu vaccine this year. I gave him my well-considered reasons, listened to his respectfully, stated again that we didn't want to do it. We normally fully vaccinate, and following the CDC schedule has been just fine for us. When I found this doctor, I had been interviewing other doctors and they gave me a lot of "absolutely not" about delayed and selective vaxxing. We weren't planning on delaying or selecting - but we wanted the option and we wanted a doctor that would be respectful of our choices.

The nurse came in with her tray of vials and needles and gave me the sheets for the pneumo, hep A and MMRV vaccines. She confirmed with me that those were the vaccines we were getting today. She asked me to put Niall down on the table and my husband said that we'd rather that one of us held him (shots hurt and are scary, so we don't think she should have to do that alone). She went ahead and did the first two shots and then... two more? At this point, I didn't think a whole lot of it (maybe one was two does? Who know?) and we had a screaming, terrified one year old who was so upset he pooped.

I called the doctor's office last night and this morning about some symptoms he's had. (He's got the chest-arm-and-face rash for the measles, the injection site blister from the varicella and some other symptoms.) IN the course of discusssing the symptoms with the nurse today,
she said "Well, some of this sounds more like a reaction to the flu vaccine."
"We didn't get the flu vaccine."
"Well, it says in his chart that he got it. How many shots did he get at his last appointment?"
"Four."
"Yep, that's four - MMRV, pneumo, hep A and combined H1N1/flu."
"I declined that, I wasn't given a sheet on it, it wasn't verified with me."
"Well, it says in his chart that he got it, he got four shots and it sounds to me like he has symptoms of either the flu or a flu shot reaction."

THEY *&%$ING WHAT?! They gave him a vaccine against my explict, stated, confirmed by my spouse directions?

So, in addition to the allergic reaction and symptoms of measles and chicken pox (that they told me I have to quarantine for a month for since he is contagious! We exposed everyone in our playgroup! I've been told before that it's Not Possible to get the illness from the vaccine but that's what the office is telling us happened) from the MMRV, he's got the flu from the flu shot (which is why we didn't want to give it to him! Both of us always get the flu right after getting the flu shot.)

I'm so angry I can't even express it properly. Plus, now my very social guy and I are stuck at home (well, away from unvaxxed and those who have not had chicken pox) for a MONTH.

Sorry for the vent, but I thought you guys would understand.
post #103 of 455
Quote:
Originally Posted by ladymeag View Post
I'm red-hot-angry. So flippin' mad. I figure you guys would understand.
OMG I would be LIVID! Sounds like time to find a new provider, as well as file a complaint against the current one.

I am so sorry.

My first was fully vaxed, though on a delayed schedule, and had terrible reactions to the chicken pox vax. She broke out in varicella blisters every couple months for two years. Now she's developed shingles. I am not a fan.

The younger two are not vaxed. We may do so in the future, but after hearing a lot of 'you should really get this done NOW!' we are hearing, 'you need to make sure to avoid immune system challenge' about our 2 yo as we go through the diagnostic process for immune system diseases. The immunologist was very happy with our decision though she does support most of the CDC schedule for the vast majority of kids.

I hope all is well soon, and please, report the situation so no one else has their rights violated in such an egregious manner.
post #104 of 455
Quote:
Originally Posted by ladymeag View Post
I'm red-hot-angry. So flippin' mad. I figure you guys would understand.

We went to Niall's one year appointment on the 20th. We had a nice, long chat with the doc about not doing the flu vaccine this year. I gave him my well-considered reasons, listened to his respectfully, stated again that we didn't want to do it. We normally fully vaccinate, and following the CDC schedule has been just fine for us. When I found this doctor, I had been interviewing other doctors and they gave me a lot of "absolutely not" about delayed and selective vaxxing. We weren't planning on delaying or selecting - but we wanted the option and we wanted a doctor that would be respectful of our choices.

The nurse came in with her tray of vials and needles and gave me the sheets for the pneumo, hep A and MMRV vaccines. She confirmed with me that those were the vaccines we were getting today. She asked me to put Niall down on the table and my husband said that we'd rather that one of us held him (shots hurt and are scary, so we don't think she should have to do that alone). She went ahead and did the first two shots and then... two more? At this point, I didn't think a whole lot of it (maybe one was two does? Who know?) and we had a screaming, terrified one year old who was so upset he pooped.

I called the doctor's office last night and this morning about some symptoms he's had. (He's got the chest-arm-and-face rash for the measles, the injection site blister from the varicella and some other symptoms.) IN the course of discusssing the symptoms with the nurse today,
she said "Well, some of this sounds more like a reaction to the flu vaccine."
"We didn't get the flu vaccine."
"Well, it says in his chart that he got it. How many shots did he get at his last appointment?"
"Four."
"Yep, that's four - MMRV, pneumo, hep A and combined H1N1/flu."
"I declined that, I wasn't given a sheet on it, it wasn't verified with me."
"Well, it says in his chart that he got it, he got four shots and it sounds to me like he has symptoms of either the flu or a flu shot reaction."

THEY *&%$ING WHAT?! They gave him a vaccine against my explict, stated, confirmed by my spouse directions?

So, in addition to the allergic reaction and symptoms of measles and chicken pox (that they told me I have to quarantine for a month for since he is contagious! We exposed everyone in our playgroup! I've been told before that it's Not Possible to get the illness from the vaccine but that's what the office is telling us happened) from the MMRV, he's got the flu from the flu shot (which is why we didn't want to give it to him! Both of us always get the flu right after getting the flu shot.)

I'm so angry I can't even express it properly. Plus, now my very social guy and I are stuck at home (well, away from unvaxxed and those who have not had chicken pox) for a MONTH.

Sorry for the vent, but I thought you guys would understand.
so horrible!!! I'm livid for you!
post #105 of 455
Ladymeag, I also am LIVID for you!!! I would absolutely schedule an appt to talk with the dr and the nurse that administered that vaccines that day. Don't bring the baby, this is an appt so that the three of you can discuss what happened and how the mistake can be prevented from happening again. Also, you will want to discuss with the dr why Niall is having such reactions to vaccines, it is rare that those happen, and might indicate a need for immune function tests and possibly choosing to forego future vaccines (or at least doing them one at a time vs combined) Live virus vaccines are engineered such that the chance of acquiring the illness from the vaccine is supposed to be very low. If your ds acquired the illness from two live vaccines (measles and chicken pox) and one "killed" vaccine (flu), then that may be a sign that his immune system is not functioning normally.

I actually was just discussing this topic with my middle son's hematologist/oncologist. My son does have an immune deficiency. As I was listing off the various illnesses that he's had, I mentioned a severe case of Rotavirus. The dr asked if it was vaccine-acquired or community-acquired. I said as far as we know it was community-acquired, he was not vaccinated for it. The dr said that was an important distinction to make, because if he had gotten a *severe* case of Rota from the vaccine, then that is a clue that the immune system is not functioning as expected.

I'm so sorry Please make an appt to talk to the dr. You need to ensure that the dr knows this mistake happened. You need to get it noted in the chart that the vaccine was given without consent (just in case...you never know what might happen in the future) and you need to discuss the reactions he had.
post #106 of 455
The last of our babies is now a toddler!! Gavin turns one in exactly 2 hours 12:17am on Oct 3rd. We celebrated his birthday today with a nice party at the park. I can not believe that my baby is one now.








I'm so ready to have another
post #107 of 455
LadyMeag - OMG, I don't blame you for being so angry! Ethan is mostly fully vaxxed (we skipped HepB and will skip chicken pox and any flu vaxes), and we have an arrangement with our ped so that he only gets one shot at a time. It's a pain because we have to go back every 2 weeks when he's due for the next series, but we figured that this way we'd know what he was reacting to, if anything.

I would ask to speak with the office manager and explain the situation/file a complaint. Personally, I don't know that I would ever trust them again, but it could be a nurse's mistake and not your pediatrician not intentionally going against your wishes. Talk with them, feel them out, and then decide if you need a new provider.

Ugh. I hate not being able to trust medical professionals...

In other news... Ethan got a bike seat for his birthday! He LOVES riding. But the poor guy has such a big head! I had to buy him a 3+ year old helmet! Just to make sure, I measured a friend's son's head. And Ethan's was larger than the 3-year-old's. He looks like a mushroom...

http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pi...&id=1003465751
post #108 of 455
Well it's official. . .my baby is 1 year old! Still not walking or talking, but definitely not a baby anymore. We had a lovely day for his bday, gave him a cupcake for breakfast (which he wouldn't eat), met mama and toddler friends at a park in the afternoon. I've been reminiscing a lot the past few days about my preg, labor, and meeting my LO for the first time.

I had such a rough first couple months PP and such a rough beginning with Bfing. . .it's actually really nice now to have some perspective on it all and to feel so so grateful that I had support and pushed through the hard part. My BFing relationship is one of the best parts of my mothering. I am really loving BFing a toddler--it's so nice to have those quiet snuggles when he is generally such an active little guy.

Anyway, hope these last Sept (well, Oct) babes enjoy their bdays! I can't believe its October again a year later!

And hugs Ladymeag. . .we'll be in touch.

2boysmama. . .you crack me up! I thought you were done-done and don't you hate being pg? But I know what you mean, I totally have baby itch again, although I don't think I could get pg at this point if I tried.
post #109 of 455
Quote:
Originally Posted by kismetbaby View Post
2boysmama. . .you crack me up! I thought you were done-done and don't you hate being pg? But I know what you mean, I totally have baby itch again, although I don't think I could get pg at this point if I tried.
I was just thinking this as well- then I realized that while I *think* I am done, I kinda don't want to be DONE.

My DH is living over 1000 miles away at the moment however, so i can revisit how I feel about this when we're living together again. I uh.... wouldn't mind another in a couple years, I think. Then again, maybe by then I'll be enjoying my newfound sanity?
post #110 of 455
Quote:
Originally Posted by 2boyzmama View Post
Ladymeag, I also am LIVID for you!!! I would absolutely schedule an appt to talk with the dr and the nurse that administered that vaccines that day. Don't bring the baby, this is an appt so that the three of you can discuss what happened and how the mistake can be prevented from happening again. Also, you will want to discuss with the dr why Niall is having such reactions to vaccines, it is rare that those happen, and might indicate a need for immune function tests and possibly choosing to forego future vaccines (or at least doing them one at a time vs combined) Live virus vaccines are engineered such that the chance of acquiring the illness from the vaccine is supposed to be very low. If your ds acquired the illness from two live vaccines (measles and chicken pox) and one "killed" vaccine (flu), then that may be a sign that his immune system is not functioning normally.

I actually was just discussing this topic with my middle son's hematologist/oncologist. My son does have an immune deficiency. As I was listing off the various illnesses that he's had, I mentioned a severe case of Rotavirus. The dr asked if it was vaccine-acquired or community-acquired. I said as far as we know it was community-acquired, he was not vaccinated for it. The dr said that was an important distinction to make, because if he had gotten a *severe* case of Rota from the vaccine, then that is a clue that the immune system is not functioning as expected.

I'm so sorry Please make an appt to talk to the dr. You need to ensure that the dr knows this mistake happened. You need to get it noted in the chart that the vaccine was given without consent (just in case...you never know what might happen in the future) and you need to discuss the reactions he had.

Thanks for the heads-up on the immune system issues! After talking with some of the other mamas in my AP group, it seems this doctor's office has done things like this before. They claim to be vax-and-AP friendly, but they reported a mama in my group to CPS for "withholding vital medical care" because she didn't give her son the flu vaccine. I mean, seriously.

I'd love to schedule an appointment like that with the doctor but they: 1. won't see anyone without a child present (unless doing a pregnancy consult) 2. would charge full-rates for the appointment and we have a high-deductible insurance that only really covers well-baby visits until we meet the insane deductible (this is what my husband's employer, a large university, offers.) We can't really afford $300 (the price of a non-well-baby visit after the insurance "discounts") to discuss the issue. Our plan was to find another doctor but after digging through the ranks of who will and won't "fire" you from the practice here for not vaxxing - we're left with the doc we've already got and a few boutique practices that don't take insurance at all but charge a monthly fee instead. Our plan for now is to question, re-question, question again and be even more attentive than usual about what's in a syringe. The confirmation of "you're getting X today" won't be enough - I want to see the vials, I want them loaded into the syringe in front of me and I want to be sure of what's going on. Yes, I've lost my trust.

I will talk to the doc at our 15 month appointment about the vaccine reactions and possible immune issues, but I'm willing to bet I get blown off. I'll keep an eye on it as much as I can, though.

My guy is going crazy without social interaction. I took him to the park today with my husband and he just looked so sad and kept watching all the boys to see if any of his friends where there. It was heartbreaking. He's so social and I really, really hope this doesn't break him of that. (Yes, he played far away from other children, only with us and not with any shared stuff - I brought our own sand toys. I had to get him out of the house, he was doing nothing but screaming for hours on end.)
post #111 of 455
DD just turned one the 30th!!
post #112 of 455
Quote:
Originally Posted by kismetbaby View Post

2boysmama. . .you crack me up! I thought you were done-done and don't you hate being pg? But I know what you mean, I totally have baby itch again, although I don't think I could get pg at this point if I tried.
Quote:
Originally Posted by confustication View Post
I was just thinking this as well- then I realized that while I *think* I am done, I kinda don't want to be DONE.
I know! I hate being pregnant! I'm miserable to be around, I hurt, I'm sick, there's almost nothing about it that I like! I have large babies, bad back labor, I've torn every birth. I work and hubby stays home, but neither of us likes this arrangement. Our house is too small. Our budget too tight. We have a million and one reasons not to have any more babies. Oh yeah, and hubby got a vasectomy.

But I still *want* a baby. I don't want to be pregnant, but I do want a baby. I was holding a 3 month old baby girl yesterday, and so could have just walked away with that baby and called her mine. She was so beautiful and my uterus was actually twinging as I was holding her. It's crazy really!
post #113 of 455
Quote:
Originally Posted by 2boyzmama
I know! I hate being pregnant! I'm miserable to be around, I hurt, I'm sick, there's almost nothing about it that I like! I have large babies, bad back labor, I've torn every birth...
But I still *want* a baby. I don't want to be pregnant, but I do want a baby... It's crazy really!
That is me, exactly. Granted, I've not had multiple births, so I don't know if I'll tear or have back labor again. But labor isn't the bad part. I HATE being pregnant. I have to change divisions at work, I got ginormous last time, and I was so sick for about 22 weeks... Ugh.

But I saw these two little girls in sundresses running through a yard a few weeks ago... And I just wanted to cry. I just keep thinking that having a baby girl would be awesome.

But a baby boy would be great too. I already have all the clothes! I really can't say that it matters; I just want another one. I'd probably be crazy enough to start trying, but DH isn't ready yet. Plus we still need to finish the house renovations. There's NO WAY I'm going to bring another child into this unfinished house.
post #114 of 455
I plan to revisit the 'do we want another' question in a couple years. I am feeling out how much of my thinking we don't want another is a result of my HATRED of pregnancy, how much is social pressure- people think we are nuts to have three- particularly my family, and how much is what I want. DH is open to whatever I want.

I also have just made the shift to being a SAHM, and DH is working and our financial situation is SO much better than it was... I kind of want to experience it all over again through that lens.

I can rationalize this for days in my head....
post #115 of 455
I think my TTC #2 plan (if you can have a plan for that sort of thing) is to wait till DS is about 20 months old. That way if my milk totally dries up while pg at least I will have given him as much as he wanted till 2 yo. But anyway, I'm not cycling yet again, so it's all just planning ahead. If it weren't for my worries about DS loosing his milk and the little snag of fertility, I'd start trying again now. I'm both anxious and curious to see if we can get pg as easily the second time around.

Agh, last night DS was awake from 1-3am. And this was after a week of sleeping GREAT (and by that I mean about 3 night wakings, but with one longer chunk from about 11-4am and both of us just falling right back to sleep with the night nursings). Somehow, I feel so much worse today than ever before on a crappy nights sleep. . .maybe b/c of the contrast to the good nights last week. And I'm in a frenzy of house-cleaning and errand-running for my parents visit starting tomorrow when I really just want to be napping. Boo.

So that quells the baby-desire for a little bit! I gotta get this one sleeping better before I do it all over again. . .
post #116 of 455
Ladymeag - visit the vax forum and ask, i seem to recall there being an attny who volunteers or offers a reduced rate for this sort of issue. You should absolutely try to sched an appt, and you absolutely should not be charged for it. If the doc refuses, perhaps a letter from an attny will grease those wheels for you. I would absolutely not take my child back to that office if the issue has not been addressed. We have a great ped, we're no-vaxers right now, and they have a good reputation for being really flexible. I know its a bit of a drive, but if you're only doing it once every few months, its not as bad. PM me if you want their info. Also, have you reported the reactions to the CDC database yet?

If A were a little older, id break quarantine... You may want to post in FYT that you have an active case of CP and measles and see if anyone wants a cp party. At least youd get some social interaction that way.
post #117 of 455
Yes, what Cristeen said. You should NOT have to pay anything for a meeting with the nurse and the dr to discuss a MISTAKE they made. If you have to, do it before they open, over their lunch break, or after they close. I'd say something like "last week the nurse made a medical error with my son, I am requesting that myself, the nurse involved, the office manager, and the dr schedule a time to meet to discuss this. I do not intend to pay anything for this meeting."

If that does not get a good response, then send a letter with the same request, certified mail if possible. State the request factually: "On this day we met with this dr at this time and discussed this topic. This nurse administered these vaccines to my son despite lacking proper consent for this vaccine. I became aware of this error when speaking to this nurse on this day at this time regarding reactions to this vaccine. I spoke to this nurse on this day and this time regarding my request for a meeting with this dr and this nurse. My request was verbally denied. I am now formally requesting this meeting in writing. Please respond in writing by this day to the address above."

And definitely post in Finding Your Tribe about him having CP and Measles! There might be some parents that would jump at this opportunity!
post #118 of 455
Oh, and to address the subject you guys were talking about of more kids... we're not actively avoiding, although we don't have many opportunities to DTD. And after years of ART, I'm not holding my breath at the moment. But I am charting so we can see what's going on.

And 2boys, you inspired me. I'm starting the Couch to 5K this week. I want to be able to run that 5K by my birthday (New Years). Hopefully getting into better shape will help my body regulate itself a bit, and maybe, just maybe, I can be pg again by the time little guy turns 2. Although if nothing else, at least I'll be able to keep up with him.
post #119 of 455
Just had our 12m WBV which turned out to be a bit traumatic for both of us, b/c they did a blood draw for lead and anemia. I knew they were testing for those, but I thought it was just going to be a heel prick. . .but nope, a full-on blood draw. Even though I told them he was strong, they didn't hold his arm tight enough (he was on my lap of course) and they lost the first stick and had to start all over on the other arm! DS was fully terrified by that point. But he recovered pretty quickly when it was over.

Boo. . .I felt this was an important test, but basically I hate WBV and don't think I'll be doing more for awhile. We don't vax yet and I hate our Peds advice, so they are kind of a waste.

The "stats" though: weight, 23.15 lbs, which is down to the 67%, but they thought this was normal (he was 98% at 5 months and 73% at 9 months) and I'm not worried about it. He's super healthy and very active, so he's just burning off lots of calories these days! Height they measured at 32", although I'm not sure they're very accurate, but that's 98% and he's always been in the 90th % on height. Head circ also in the 90th % as it has always been at 19".
post #120 of 455
Quote:
Originally Posted by 2boyzmama View Post
But I still *want* a baby. I don't want to be pregnant, but I do want a baby. I was holding a 3 month old baby girl yesterday, and so could have just walked away with that baby and called her mine. She was so beautiful and my uterus was actually twinging as I was holding her. It's crazy really!
awww... I think everyone feels that way when you see a sweet little one. I do wonder how you know that you are done. My DH is already making 'never again!' jokes, but I"m not so sure. I do know that I want 2012 to be pregnancy-free. My brain body and mind need a break.

But I look at toddling DS, and as much as I love the sweetness, I can't help thinking back to when he was little, and being glad that I'll have a chance to do it again soon.
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