Separation Anxiety? Your experience?

[HappyMomma2008]

I fear that we're dealing with a pretty tough case of separation anxiety. Our 2.5 year old recently started a 2 day a week preschool (3 hours each morning). I love the school and her teachers and I feel totally confident in them. However, my daughter continues to struggle. She spends almost the entire time either actively crying or asking when I will return. (I have stayed to observe from afar and can stand outside the classroom and hear her, although she doesn't know I'm there.) I know there is an adjustment period to such a big change, but how much is too much? I'm strongly considering pulling her out. Anyone have experience with separation anxiety in their little one?

[nextcommercial]

Two full weeks is normal. Longer if it's only two days a week. If after three or four weeks, she's not having fun, I'd pull her out for one year and try again. She's very young, and maybe this isn't fun for her. It's fun for the other kids, but maybe it's just not her thing.

[spmamma]

I'd pull her out. Preschool isn't a necessity at 2.5 and she obviously needs you. I know my DD would have experienced a similar level of separation anxiety at that age - some kids just aren't ready.

[puffingirl]

We went through the same thing last year (preschool 2 mornings/week, DD was almost 2.5). Honestly, it took about 10 weeks. I stayed for 10 weeks, leaving for intervals of 1-10 minutes at a time. I have to say her teacher was incredibly patient and caring. After 10 weeks, I could go and she was ok. There were setbacks after breaks, but really it all worked out. It was REALLY important for my sanity to start working towards having her be able to stay with anyone else (up to that point, she had only been with me, DH or his parents). That was my entire goal for the last school year, and it ended up really being terrific for all of us. She got so much more comfortable being with others that I was able to hire a babysitter to help out a little this summer while school was out, and she even began to spend overnight trips with her grandparents. She's really excited about school starting again later this week. Be patient. I thought I was going to be there all year last year (which I had made peace with, considering I'd be trying to find something to do with her all those mornings anyways), and she was the LAST one in her class to be there without a parent, but it was all good in the end. I wish you well!

[pregnant@40]

My son had separation anxiety until age 5. Now he loves going to school. I think some kids are just more sensitive than others, but eventually they all grow out of it.

I remember how awful those daily tearful goodbyes were when he was 2-3 years old. Just horrible. I couldn't work w/out worrying about him all day long. I tried so many different variations w/ work -- full-time, part-time, night shift, day shift. Nothing worked. I finally took a whole year off w/ him, from age 4-5, and it has been great for him. This past summer he was finally ready to be away from me & explore the world.

[deditus]

That's awful young - I would pull her out. School doesn't start until 5 for a reason - many kids aren't ready for that separation for a few more years. If prek is for you to get a break, or work towards her staying with other people, then maybe she would be more receptive to a small home daycare. My dd will happily stay with my friend who has daughter a year younger than her, but would never stay in a group situation like that w/o me.