Tired = Mean...and I'm SICK OF IT

[AFWife]

When my 16mo gets tired he gets MEAN. Pinching, hitting, biting, screaming, etc...

I can tell when he's tired but if I try to get him to calm down (sit in quiet, lay with me with a bottle, etc...) the meanness comes out. It's not that he's overtired, either. I catch him early on...he ends up overtired because he will fight napping for H.O.U.R.S.

Frankly, I'm sick of it. He can't NOT have a nap or the mean streak continues until bedtime. It's driving me nuts. I have NO idea what to do.

[maddymama]

Hi Mama,
How frustrating.... we had the same issue with DD1 when she was your DS's age. It was a very rough time period.
Here's what we did.
1) I'm not a schedule person, but I put naps on a schedule. I was very strict about it, so that DD1's body got tired at the same time every day, and that helped make nap times easier. Not easy, but easier. I also did a routine of books, song, etc. before nap to tell her body it was time to rest.
2) After an hour, if DD1 didn't nap, we'd get out of the house and go to the playground, museum, etc. Usually she'd run around for a bit and then fall asleep in the car on the way home (and yes, I drove the long way home many many many times.....) Getting out of the house helped me to not focus on her not napping and it helped her get accomplished what she need to do so she could relax in the car and fall asleep.
3) Now, at 4, she has a rest time for an hour in the afternoon. Usually I can walk in after about 30 minutes and lie down next to her, cuddle for a few minutes, and she's out. :-) It took us a LOOOONNNNGGG time to get to this point.
Good luck!
~maddymama

[AFWife]

The only issue there is we're a single car family and DH gets up for work 2 hours before DS usually wakes up. So, he takes the car and we're here all day.

Not only that, but right now it's SO HOT that going outside just isn't an option for most of the day. (It gets to above 90F by 10am some days)

[maddymama]

Are you in an area where you can walk to a playground or mall or something? Or can you get a bike with a trailer and bike somewhere? For me, maybe not for you, the whole getting out of the house when napping wasn't working was key for my survival.
Maybe just doing something very different within the house would work for you....
~maddymama

[allical1284]

I'm with the others about getting outside. I see you are in TX; we're in Houston, and it is so.bloody.hot, but it doesn't bother DD. I just fix a big glass of ice water for myself and follow her around as she explores the backyard, park, etc...
I think that with DD, she gets tired, but unless she gets to run around outside, she isn't able to physically wear herself out and that makes naps nearly impossible!!
GL! I know it sucks, but remember it will cool down soon (like maybe November

[AFWife]

Originally Posted by maddymama

Are you in an area where you can walk to a playground or mall or something? Or can you get a bike with a trailer and bike somewhere? For me, maybe not for you, the whole getting out of the house when napping wasn't working was key for my survival.
Maybe just doing something very different within the house would work for you....
~maddymama

I'm really not. There's nowhere I can walk safely (except Walgreens...)

Originally Posted by allical1284

I'm with the others about getting outside. I see you are in TX; we're in Houston, and it is so.bloody.hot, but it doesn't bother DD. I just fix a big glass of ice water for myself and follow her around as she explores the backyard, park, etc...
I think that with DD, she gets tired, but unless she gets to run around outside, she isn't able to physically wear herself out and that makes naps nearly impossible!!
GL! I know it sucks, but remember it will cool down soon (like maybe November

My pregnant self cannot handle the heat. I overheat FAST and get sick.

[justKate]

Originally Posted by AFWife

When my 16mo gets tired he gets MEAN. Pinching, hitting, biting, screaming, etc...

I can tell when he's tired but if I try to get him to calm down (sit in quiet, lay with me with a bottle, etc...) the meanness comes out. It's not that he's overtired, either. I catch him early on...he ends up overtired because he will fight napping for H.O.U.R.S.

Frankly, I'm sick of it. He can't NOT have a nap or the mean streak continues until bedtime. It's driving me nuts. I have NO idea what to do.

Do we have the same child?! Are your night times just as bad? (Ours are.) From about 12-16 mos. DD drew blood on a nightly basis.

No real advice, but what works for me is to completely babyproof and darken our bedroom, then "pretend sleep" while DD (18 mos.) throws her fit. When she hits/pinches I remove her hand and turn away with my back to her. Sometimes I roll her away when she's violent (gently, of course, and just far enough away that she can't reach me to hurt me). Then I pretend to nap, saying "mama nigh night" if absolutely necessary to remind her that I'm not dead.

So I try to relax as much as possible. DD gets some of that emotion out but she's not left alone... For us, any response that I give her encourages the hurting because she knows my responses will help keep her awake. So I only respond if its necessary to 1) keep her from really hurting me or 2) reassure her that I'm there/alive. It usually takes 35-60 minutes.

Good luck! I can't imagine manging this while pg.

ETA: I'm in Texas too. We finally had a nice evening (yesterday)--I hadn't been out in months before that, though.