Omg i just found a something horrific WARNING GRAPHIC

[sosurreal09]

WOW what can i say. i am so shaken up right now. i literally walked less than a block to the pead with DD sleeping in the sling. we live in the city so bums are nothing new. girl was not facing me on the walk there...
walked back home and she was facing me...OMG. I called 911 right away. i did not touch her- i didnt even stay i ran. i ran home with my 10 m/o DD in the sling for fear of our lives.
I am like 90% this young girl was murdered and thrown into a big pile of laundry. she was maybe 19 y/o......
i am horrified. that poor girl

[texmati]

oh my gosh! I'm so sorry that you had to see that! s! Can you call someone to sit wit you for a bit?

[HappilyEvrAfter]

OMG.... I don't have any words.



to you.

[*bejeweled*]

This is so . That must have been so frightening for you.

[ledzepplon]

How scary for you, and how tragic for that poor girl and her loved ones. I can't imagine!

[Birdie B.]

[sosurreal09]

i am FREAKING out i cant stop thinking about her. i cant stop seeing her face. i am so angry at the world i mean i didnt find her until 12:30pm NO ONE saw her beforehand? seriously...this is the city i am sure at least 10 people walked by her and did nothing.
my friend called and said she saw an extremel brief story about it on the local news...it was an OD and they have yet to identify her, i cant find anthing on it.
i keep thinking about this poor girls parents. she just looked so innocent so young, all curled up in the fetal position...looked like she was just taking a nap.....i still dont understand why she was in heavy winter clothing or in a big pile of laundry...it just does not add up.
i feel guilty like i could have somehow helped her or saved her.
all the what ifs rolling through my mind.....
how do i deal with this? how do i get over this? i feel like her face is burned into my memory forever. its all i can see. i tried to lie down with DD (who is sick as a dog btw) and all i could do was think about her.

when i was a child my mother died in my arms and i was a CNA for years...i have seen my share of dead bodies. my mother is burned into my brain but none of the others.
idk if it is because i found her not in a medical setting....or because she was so young i just dont know

i seriously dont know what to do

[Drummer's Wife]

Can you find a counselor who has experience with PTSD? Maybe that would help you deal with this, so it doesn't haunt you forever.

[MCatLvrMom2A&X]

I cant even imagine how you are feeling right now

[34me]

PTSD is my first thought as well. I witnessed the aftermath of a murder several years ago and it has really affected me, still. My heart goes out to you and your family, as well as hers.

[Ann-Marita]

Do you have any Rescue Remedy? Take some right now.

If you don't own any, you might consider going and getting some. Health food stores carry it.

[sosurreal09]

i dont have any. thats safe while BFING?

i was praying and praying last night and i did end up sleeping ok around midnight. i prayed to find peace with this..and i do feel a lot more at peace

i feel like i am mourning for her...
i was "talking to her" last night like i always did with my mom after she passed. i feel a lot better now that i told her how sorry i am this happened to her and i wish i had known her because perhaps i could have helped her in some way...ect ect

TY ladies for your advice and support. it really helps to have somewhere to vent.

[mamalisa]

Gosh, I'm sorry. I can't imagine

[leahd]

Is there somewhere you could volunteer some time to help some other kids who are homeless or addicts? Maybe she was brought into your life for a reason. Or something else positive that could come out of her death and your experience?

[doubledutch]

i'm sorry. if there is a memorial service, maybe going to that would help.

[MichaelsSahm]

I am so sorry you witnessed this, but I agree, maybe it happened for a reason. A reason why you had to find her!

[meemee]

Originally Posted by sosurreal09

how do i deal with this? how do i get over this? i seriously dont know what to do

i have noticed my reactions to anything related to children or young ones is much more heightened since i became a mom. you are a new mom. yes absolutely you will react more deeply to this.

Originally Posted by sosurreal09

i was praying and praying last night and i did end up sleeping ok around midnight. i prayed to find peace with this..and i do feel a lot more at peace

i feel like i am mourning for her...
i was "talking to her" last night like i always did with my mom after she passed. i feel a lot better now that i told her how sorry i am this happened to her and i wish i had known her because perhaps i could have helped her in some way...ect ect

i think you are doing GREAT mama. you need NOTHING. but just time to sit and mourn and find your own way of dealing with this. it will stay with you for a while. love your dd and 'talk' to the girl. find your ways of discovering your own path to grief. that is what the poor girl gave you as a gift. a way of discovering another part of you.

and once you have healed (but never forgotten) find a way to contribute to kids addicted or whatever you feel will allow you to feel you ARE doing something.

for me some images have had a HUUUUUUUUUGE impact on me. the picture of the girl running from the burning plane, herself on fire (vietnam was it), and the buried child's head from the bhopal disaster. it wasnt real life but its burnt into me forever. or that parent mourning the tsunami disaster. i have seen them premama but seeing them again after being a mama - i reacted sooooooo much differently.

[Mackenzie]

Originally Posted by sosurreal09

i dont have any. thats safe while BFING?

Absolutely...

[momtoS]

Oh my gosh....HUGS to you.

[Arduinna]

((hug)) I'm so sorry.