Names for "those" body parts

[betony707]

My 13 month old has just discovered he is a boy LOL. He examines himself in the bath each day and its hilarious because he is so clearly delighted with what he has found However he has begun to look expectantly at me waiting for me to tell him what this new thing is, just like we have done with eyes, ears, etc.

So now I have run into a problem. In theory I am all in favor of teaching children correct names for their genitals just like every other body part. I hope to keep a clear (age-appropriate) dialogue about all things sexual from the very beginning, well here is my 1st test lol. In my experience a lot of adults just don't respond well to a child talking about his penis Its not always deliberate, it just makes them uncomfortable - which of course the child can sense. Also I found that *I* hesitated to teach him that even though I would say I am relatively comfortable discussing things of that nature with other adults.

The big issue is that all the alternative words I can think of are either inappropriate slang, or foolish words like "pee-pee" lol. Does anyone have any good alternative for a toddler to use, or should I just bite the bullet and teach him the proper name?

[annakiss]

Use the proper word. In the crunchy, AP communities, it's the norm. If anyone asks, then tell them that you would rather use proper terminology than goofy, or perhaps insulting nicknames that are far more inappropriate.

[JBaxter]

I have 4 boys and we always used correct terms. They have a penis and testicles now we do use the term hiney sometimes but its usually a butt and a butt hole.

It would be an adults problem if they are uncomfortable with the therm THEY need to get over that not you or your son.

We make peepee from our penis here.

[annakiss]

We additionally use vulva for female genitals. I prefer anus over butt hole. We do say butt though.

[lynsage]

An adult's response to hearing the proper medical term for any part of the human anatomy should not be a matter of any concern to you when deciding what to teach your child. If your child reports later in his life that he is sensing discomfort from adults, explain to him that they may come from a time before we started using the right words for things and it's not his fault or his problem.

IMO there are no proper or necessary alternatives, and teaching slang words is a disservice. I believe there have been threads here before discussing information, I think it was in Protecting The Gift, that alleges that if a child is ever sexually abused it could actually help the molester get away with their crime if the child can't describe what they were exposed to or what was done to them in proper anatomical terms.

Now, we all hope nothing like that ever happens to our children (or anyone else's!) but if it ever did happen to my daughter and the perpetrator wasn't convicted because she couldn't adequately explain what happened to her to the police, I would never forgive myself for not arming her with the correct terms for her own body parts.

[tabrizia]

Yep just use the appropriate terms. DS is happy to tell all about his penis and that his little sister has a vulva. We use the correct terms here, my parents actually always used the correct terms with me and my siblings as well.

[karika]

We use penis, vagina, butt, anus and other correct terms here. Before I learned so much, when dd1 was small we did call her genitals her 'pooty'.... not doing that anymore. dd2 has always heard it referred to as vagina.

[pbjmama]

Your ds penis is not sexual to him. Just call it what it is.

[SubliminalDarkness]

I'm with everyone else. I don't care what other people think of it. My kids know exactly what their penis and testicles are. And they know that I have a vulva, and that I did not "lose" my penis. lol!

[lifeguard]

Once you say penis a thousand times to him (& you will 'cause that's how much they like to play with it) you'll get used to the word.

[sapphire_chan]

Y'know, I wonder if kids who go through life with it just being a matter of fact thing make less of a deal about penis and vulva than kids who learn about it from a giggling friend or obviously nervous parent?

[ckberkey]

We have all boys and say penis and scrotum, and sometimes "boys parts". We also say "mommy parts."

[AFWife]

Originally Posted by JBaxter

It would be an adults problem if they are uncomfortable with the therm THEY need to get over that not you or your son.

Tell them to grow up!

[jessica_s]

Originally Posted by sapphire_chan

Y'know, I wonder if kids who go through life with it just being a matter of fact thing make less of a deal about penis and vulva than kids who learn about it from a giggling friend or obviously nervous parent?

There might be some truth to this. We use correct terms and did growing up. I remember being embarrassed to say sex at the dinner table at about 7 and my Dad said "it's not a bad word, it just something adults do". I've never felt talking about bodily functions was shameful or bad. It's been very matter-of-fact.
I have a friend who cannot for the life of him utter the word "breast", much less penis! He said things were never talked about in his household and to bring something up was frowned upon. He doesn't mind when I say it now (probably because I've said it 1000 times now) but I do wonder if he has a hard time at the Doctor or with other things in life because of that. I'd ask but I'm afraid he'd faint on me.
Using the correct terms will serve them in life, it might be embarrassing that he might point out to family members at holidays that he has a penis but it would be just as embarrassing for him to go around telling everyone he had a winky or pee-pee! lol Can you tell that's happened before? We usually just say "yes, you do" and move the conversation along.

[Ruthla]

I didn't teach my kids any slang terms for their body parts until they heard them in school and wondered what the other kids were talking about. Then I defined the slang terms by the proper medical terms and my kids weren't in the dark anymore.

I also use the term "privates" to refer to both male and female genitals (often in the context of "if you want to play with your privates, please do it in private.")

I remember one time when DS was about 1.5 or 2, for some reason he walked into my mom's kitchen in only a t-shirt and climbed into his booster seat. He sat there at the table pointing to his penis and saying "pee-mif" repeatedly. She asked me if I taught him that, and my response was "Of course I did? Did you think I'd tell him he had a wee-wee?"

I grew up knowing "boys have a penis, girls have a vagina" so I'm not quite sure why she was surprised I did the same thing with my kids (except that I use the more accurate term "vulva" where my mom used "vagina.")

[YayJennie]

I taught my son penis just like I taught him eyes, ears, mouth and nose. I agree with what's been said...if someone else has a problem with your son saying penis, they need to grow up!

[Maine Mama Doula]

We just use the words that we've always used: penis, vagina, and boobies. It is what it is. Of course, I says breasts and breastfeeding a lot too. DD1, 4, knows that babies come out of vaginas, and she is proud to tell everybody that she wants to help pull babies out of vaginas when she grows up. She wants to be a "baby puller" and she gathered this terminology from watching birth videos with me

[baileyann3]

Wait, isn't "butt" slang?

[Ellien C]

Originally Posted by lifeguard

Once you say penis a thousand times to him (& you will 'cause that's how much they like to play with it) you'll get used to the word.

True dat. My neighbor is a pediatrician. As I had my infant outside and I was saying "Oh you just love those hands! They are so good to suck on - if only they would stay in your mouth," my neighbor chimed in "Wait until you find your penis. That's gonna be really cool!"

[Maine Mama Doula]

Originally Posted by baileyann3

Wait, isn't "butt" slang?

I don't think so. What else would you call it? Booty, behind, rear, caboose. Everything else I can think of is slang.