I'm not sure what forum this belongs on. It doesn't seem to fit in parent's as partners. I really contemplated grief/loss forum but I figured it would get moved. This seems like the best place.
My husband and I seperated in January, I didn't actually physically leave him until March. When we first seperated I was still in love with him, I was lonely, I was depressed. We were still sleeping with each other, because it was the only way we could connect without fighting, and I allowed myself to stay stuck in this cycle of self hatred, pity, remorse. I didn't have a job and was living off of savings. I really had no desire to get ahead, I was too depressed.
Now I am working on moving forward. I am actively job searching and I feel good about being offered a job by the end of this week. I thought my husband and I were beginning to communicate better, but I cannot get over the fact that he has a new girlfriend.
This is the only thing holding me back from completely moving forward. It eats at me, it makes me sick, it makes me cry. It causes us to fight. He didn't even tell me that they were really together until today after I had sex with him in his home where she is staying with him at. Until now he always denied it. I know his intentions were not to hurt me or use me but he knew I was afraid to do it because having sex with him is very confusing for me. Now I have this feeling of sadness again. Not as strong as before because I am beginning to realized that I cannot take anything personally.
I am grieving. Not exactly grieving the loss of my husband... but the loss of my marriage and the future we had planned together.
I don't really know anyone who has been through this, so no one can relate to me in terms of a marriage ending and moving on there after. It would be better if I didn't have to communicate with him anymore, but for the sake of our daughter, that is not a possibilty.
Words of advice, encouragement, etc are greatly appreciated.
Thank you!
My husband and I seperated in January, I didn't actually physically leave him until March. When we first seperated I was still in love with him, I was lonely, I was depressed. We were still sleeping with each other, because it was the only way we could connect without fighting, and I allowed myself to stay stuck in this cycle of self hatred, pity, remorse. I didn't have a job and was living off of savings. I really had no desire to get ahead, I was too depressed.
Now I am working on moving forward. I am actively job searching and I feel good about being offered a job by the end of this week. I thought my husband and I were beginning to communicate better, but I cannot get over the fact that he has a new girlfriend.
This is the only thing holding me back from completely moving forward. It eats at me, it makes me sick, it makes me cry. It causes us to fight. He didn't even tell me that they were really together until today after I had sex with him in his home where she is staying with him at. Until now he always denied it. I know his intentions were not to hurt me or use me but he knew I was afraid to do it because having sex with him is very confusing for me. Now I have this feeling of sadness again. Not as strong as before because I am beginning to realized that I cannot take anything personally.
I am grieving. Not exactly grieving the loss of my husband... but the loss of my marriage and the future we had planned together.
I don't really know anyone who has been through this, so no one can relate to me in terms of a marriage ending and moving on there after. It would be better if I didn't have to communicate with him anymore, but for the sake of our daughter, that is not a possibilty.
Words of advice, encouragement, etc are greatly appreciated.
Thank you!
So glad your DD has you bc you seem emotionally available and kind and loving, and her daddy just destroyed her world as she knows it in his own selfishness-- he certainly was not considering what's best for her or his family when he did so.
