Please help me figure this out - newborn and toddler

[Homebirth_Mom216]

I am due in february and have a son who will be 2 when the baby is born. Right now he sleeps with DH and I in bed - I lay with him until he is asleep for naps and at night.

If you have been in this type of situation and then had another baby, how did it go after the baby came? Was it too hard to try to lay with your older child until he/she fell asleep when you also had a newborn to handle? Did the newborn waking up at night also wake up the older child? I would really like some tips or stories of experience on this so I can figure out whether or not to try and move DS to his own bed before the baby comes. THANKS!!!

p.s. I had a post about this a couple days ago but I think maybe the questions weren't simple enough - so this one is more to the point. I just need some answers from you knowledgable moms!! Thanks!!

[aztraea]

DS was 21 months old when DD was born and lying with him was (and, sadly still is!) the only way I could get him to sleep. When DD was born I tried to work it so that she would be nursing while I was in bed with DS, so all three of us were in there lying down and she'd be quiet until he went to sleep. If there was no way she was going to nurse for whatever reason, I'd have DH sit in the living room with her. It was kind of hit or miss, but worked well enough We all four sleep together and we had very few problems with either of them waking up the other. It took a couple of weeks at first, but then DS would sleep through all night wakings. Good luck!

[mommariffic]

I have DH either do bed time for my toddler [3] OR I do bed time routine and lay down with her/she has warm milk/we sometimes read or talk for 10 minutes or so. I think that is what's working best, because DS [2 months] is unpredictable in his eating/sleeping, while my 3 year old is dead set in routine most of the time.

As far as night waking though, there hasn't been any from my older one! And we have had some cozy mornings in the bed together.

[jnet24]

When I got preg with DD I was so worried about how naps\ bed time would go. There are 23 months apart, and DS had never fallen asleep by himself. I just always laid on the couch or bed nursing the baby on one side and DS on the other side cuddled up. I actually still do just that and DS is 3.5 and DD is 20 months. Sometimes it was a bit stressful, but all in all it has worked out well. We all sleep together and they don't wake each other up, unless DS is screaming bc of a nightmare. But they both go back to sleep really easily.

[sachasmom]

I'm so glad you posted this question, because I have the same one! I'm due in January and my three-year-old son has slept in our bed since birth. I have been happy with that ... DH less so! But the big issue for me is nursing: I just can't imagine how night-time nursing is going to work with TWO of them wanting to nurse. I feel I really need to end the night time nursing before the new baby arrives. And it seems impossible to do that -- at least for us -- while I'm in the same bed with my son. Also DS is a super restless sleeper and we're just having trouble imagining how we're all going to manage with him plus a second one.

Anyway, last night for the first time in DS's life he slept the whole night without me. Well, sort of anyway. I lay down and nursed him to sleep at 9 in his room instead of ours, while DH cleaned up from dinner and took some quiet time. Then when he came to bed around midnight I got up and went to our room for the rest of the night.

Upside: I had the best sleep I've had for three years. Downside: I WAS SAD AND LONELY! Seriously, I thought this would be great. But it's just .... not. On the other hand DS seemed to accept it pretty well, so I'm feeling like he's ready for this move. And while I'm sad at giving up the family bed idea and sending him off to his own room, I have to admit that my mental state and ability to get work done (without which no paycheck!) is far better than it has been pretty much since he was born.

Real mixed feelings here, and I'm definitely interested in what others say about how they worked this out ....