This makes me uneasy...

[funfunkyfantastic]

So on Saturday the ex calls me and tells me that my daughter (23 months old) needs to go to the doctor. I ask him why, and he says because her left leg is hurt. So of course I ask him calmly how this happened and when. He says he doesn't know, and that he "thinks" one of his girlfriend's kids stepped on her foot. These kids are aged 3 and 4, btw. He says he noticed that she wouldn't put any weight on her left leg and that when she tried to stand she just fell over. He said this is the first he'd noticed of it (and this was around 2pm). So I asked him what he was going to do. He said he'd probably take her to the doctor but wanted to know what insurance info he'd need. I told him that I had the insurance card, so he'd have to come get it from me. He told me to just come pick her up since he was "busy" anyway helping out at his girlfriend's dad's house. I was already feeling uneasy at this point and not really buying his story. So I went over there to get my daughter and picked her up. She didn't want to leave my arms to go into the car seat. She was very fussy, and it took a while to calm her down. My boyfriend gently felt her leg for anything unusual, and noticed she didn't react in pain when he felt around her foot and ankle, but was pretty sensitive about her knee. She had slight swelling... but nothing really noticeable. We got her into the car seat and took her home first before heading elsewhere. I called my doctor's office and spoke to the nurse before deciding what to do next. I knew she'd have to see a doctor that day, but I wanted to make sure we were going to the right place first. She recommended a local hospital and we headed up there. On the way over there my boyfriend called up my ex to verify his story and see if there was anything else he could tell. His girlfriend added that she had given her tylenol at 10:30am and that she "thinks" that the injury may be related to her backing up into my daughter and stepping on her in the kitchen the day before. Kind of weird considering it took him till around 2pm the next day to call me even though they'd already given her tylenol and then done nothing else. At the ER the doctor asked a few questions and then they took x-rays. He also felt that my ex's story was a little strange and wondered why he hadn't taken her in himself. The only thing i could think of was that he just wanted me to go since i had the insurance card... altho it even sounded like a lame excuse to me. The x-rays came back fine... no broken bones. So the doctors sent us home and told us to watch her closely and if her condition worsened or just didn't improve that she would probably need an MRI. He said to be sure to schedule a follow up with her doctor monday. So I called as soon as I could today and scheduled an appointment. What do you guys think of all this? Does it make you uneasy too? It's really making me feel sick. I'm not even sure if she should be over there at that house anymore if whatever happened to her is their fault. My daughter can't walk right now... she can't even stand or crawl. All she can do is sit in one spot. It breaks my heart to see her this way!

[funfunkyfantastic]

also wanted to add there is no history of abuse... and he's never yelled or done anything in a threatening manner toward anyone that i've ever known of. I've known him for 5, almost 6 years now and he's never been the type to EVER lash out in anger. I really don't know his girlfriend that well though.

[Super~Single~Mama]

It would make me uneasy yes. But, as long as there are no reasons not to trust him (although his story sounds wishy washy - its hard to tell over the net though), I would chalk it up to accidents happen, and as unfortunate as it is, sometimes we knock into our kids We are much bigger than they are, and its hard to see them sometimes, especially if they are right behind us and we don't expect them to be there.

I know its hard, but be gentle on yourself, and until you hear something from a doctor that would suggest abuse, or anything more serious than an accident, I would try not to worry about it. These things happen. I would also try to limit the amount of second hand info you get - like by having your bf call your ex - that only complicates things more. When people are on good terms it may seem like its ok, but it still makes it harder.

You might also want to talk to your ex about it next time you see him - and tell him that as hard as it is to admit wrongdoing, you really just need to know what happened so that you can help the dr's diagnose the problem. It helps to be able to say that you won't get angry about accidents, that you understand things happen.

Ok, now that I've written a novel I'll stop now!

[DeerMother]

Yes, it sounds a little weird. Please trust your mother instinct. Having said that, I have two young children and they can go from happily playing to violence in seconds. One of the other kids could have done something that the adults didn't witness. The falling over sounds like neurological issues, I'd ask the dr to check that out.

[Ruthla]

I wouldn't worry about the fact that an almost 2yo got hurt while playing with a 3 and 4yo; kids get rough sometimes and accidents can happen even with adults right there. Even the adult accidentally stepping on the toddler- well, toddlers sometimes get underfoot like cats and can get stepped on. Accidents happen.

But it does seem odd that they didn't take her in for medical treatment (or call you to take her for medical treatment) much, much sooner. I don't rush kids to the dr or ER for every little bump and bruise, but if a kid is hurt too badly to walk (or move whatever body part is injured) I'll take them in within an hour or so of the injury. I can't imagine waiting a whole day to get a child evaluated (unless the child seemed "just fine" right away but the child felt worse the next day.)

I don't understand why he doesn't have a copy of the insurance card. See if the insurance company can send you a second card for her, so you and her dad each keep one. If that's not possible, then photocopy the front and back of the card and let dad keep the photocopy.

[doubledutch]

wait, it may have happened when one of the kids OR the adult girlfriend stepped on her? were they all stepping on her? what the heck? it's one thing to just not know. i can actually completely understand something along the lines of, "she's favoring her leg like she got hurt, but i didn't see her fall or anything - i don't know what happened." as a parent, i could relate to that (especially with a couple of preschoolers running around too!). however, him saying that one of the kids might have stepped on her and then her saying that she "backed into" and stepped on her, i don't get that. what does that mean, that she backed into and knocked her down, and then stepped on her? was she drunk? why did he not want to explain that and try to say it was maybe one of the kids? it wouldn't stress me out terribly that my child had a relatively minor injury, but when people appear to be lying, that majorly freaks me out.

i'm sorry you're dealing with this and that your little girl is sore. i hope she feels better soon.

[lilyka]

Seems normal to me. Accidents happen. And if the pain did not set in right away (there could be swelling making things worse that caused a delayed reaction) and gradually got worse it might not have been immediate that they saw the need for the doctor. Girlfriend bumps into her and "kinda" steps on her (she might not have thought it was bad until it happened and then thought "what if I stepped on her more than a little!!" ) it could have been kids climbing around on each other....whatever. If you have no reason to expect abuse (and it doesn't sound like it does) I wouldn't worry about it. It is odd though that he didn't come to the Dr. with you. Even my xh would come to the Dr. with me.

[funfunkyfantastic]

Well it gets worse. I called the ex to tell him how I scheduled the appointment and he calls back and says he can't do it... after he just told me he could. He says his girlfriend will have the car at work. He says he is willing to wait till friday to take her though. Of course i wasn't having any of that. My kid can't walk... like i'm gonna watch her suffer until friday to figure out what's wrong with her! I called back and rescheduled the appointment for first thing tomorrow morning. I have to take time out of my extern to do it, but my kid is more important. The doctor at my extern is very understanding and told me to take all the time I need. Of course I told the ex this and he said he doesn't get why I couldn't just wait till friday. He says he is concerned about me missing some of my externship. Riiight. She's finally starting to crawl a little again, but that's it. She's really frustrated that she can't walk. It's like she doesn't understand why she's in pain when she stands. I hope the doctor has some answers for me. I have a strong feeling that he might be concerned about the story. We'll see.

[~PurityLake~]

I can understand how you'd be especially worried about your daughter's hurt knee, especially since she's your only child. However, I wouldn't jump to the conclusion that there is lying going on here. With 3 toddlers and 2 adults in the house, accidents can certainly happen without the adults knowing the exact details. I have so many times turned or backed up while pulling out a kitchen drawer only to step on or stumble over, get thrown off balance and otherwise hurt my own daughters. They are frequently underfoot when I'm in the kitchen. There have been times when one has been hurt by something or someone on accident and we didn't realize how hurt until a couple hours later. Accidents do happen. You ex thinking first it was the kids is certainly believable if they'd been playing and then maybe he talked with his gf later and found out she'd stumbled over your daughter and then thought, maybe that's how she got hurt. Perhaps the tylenol was given in the morning when they noticed her favoring it and they didn't even realize at the time the cause of it. Maybe they thought after a couple hours it would be fine and when time had passed they realized maybe something more serious had happened and that was when he felt you should be notified. I just don't see any ill intent here. The x-rays show there was nothing broken, so perhaps it was a bruise or sprain or maybe if she was tripped over, she fell as well, but if someone had stepped on her foot and she fell over, it made her knee twist. I could see how that could happen completely on accident.

Also, your last post, you say you called your ex to tell him about the appointment. Perhaps he hadn't yet thought through his schedule when you informed him and after the call, he looked at his schedule, talked to his girlfriend and realized he wouldn't have transportation that day, so called you back to let you know that. I just really think you're reading way more into this than is warranted. If you have an appointment scheduled for friday, this is something the doctor must have thought was okay after examining your daughter, so if it's okay by the doctor why is it not okay for you? Do you think the doctor doesn't know what they're doing?

[happysmileylady]

Yeah it does sound weird, does sound like he was trying to cover for something. But, given that the X-ray turned out fine and that the injury is in her knee (how do you step on a knee? even my little teeny 22 month old it would be really tough to step on her knee unless she's sitting down with her feet sticking straight out,) I am wondering if perhaps he's just covering for the fact that he doesn't know what happened.

[by-the-lake]

Originally Posted by ~Purity♥Lake~

If you have an appointment scheduled for friday, this is something the doctor must have thought was okay after examining your daughter, so if it's okay by the doctor why is it not okay for you? Do you think the doctor doesn't know what they're doing?

Because doctors are people, too. Go with your gut instinct and good luck at the appt. tomorrow.

[lilyka]

Originally Posted by happysmileylady

Yeah it does sound weird, does sound like he was trying to cover for something. But, given that the X-ray turned out fine and that the injury is in her knee (how do you step on a knee? even my little teeny 22 month old it would be really tough to step on her knee unless she's sitting down with her feet sticking straight out,) I am wondering if perhaps he's just covering for the fact that he doesn't know what happened.

Clearly you have never met a family like mine We can step on each other and ourselves in ways previously thought unimaginable. Especially my middle child who once kicked herself in the face. My mom was ready to break out the hurt on the neighbor kids thinking they must have been playing too rough and I am like "what...of course lily could kick herself in the face. happens all the time." I remember trying to explain my breast injury to my midwife...."well, my dd (also lily) stepped on it while I was nursing the baby".

[happysmileylady]

Originally Posted by lilyka

Clearly you have never met a family like mine We can step on each other and ourselves in ways previously thought unimaginable. Especially my middle child who once kicked herself in the face. My mom was ready to break out the hurt on the neighbor kids thinking they must have been playing too rough and I am like "what...of course lily could kick herself in the face. happens all the time." I remember trying to explain my breast injury to my midwife...."well, my dd (also lily) stepped on it while I was nursing the baby".

He he, well, yeah, I have had my almost 2 year old kick herself in the face, step on my boobs, and cause all manner of strange injuries to myself and her. But I still have a hard time imagining an adult stepping on a child's knee if that child is standing up...which is how I am picturing the situation in the OP when she says the gf walked into the little one.

[funfunkyfantastic]

Well, actually the doc said nothing about friday, that was my ex's reasoning. My doc said ASAP, not, "wait a week".

Anyhow... went to the doctor and he thinks her sudden hip/leg pain was caused by a virus. He looked her over and examined her and then noticed her runny nose and asked if she'd had a cold. I'd only noticed the runny nose that day. But maybe it started earlier? He diagnosed her with Transient Synovitis of the Hip and I looked that up online and her symptoms do fit with the online description. It's supposedly the most common cause of sudden hip/leg pain in young children and is also known to cause knee pain.

She's crawling now and putting more pressure on her leg every day, but not walking yet. So she's getting better.

[LynnS6]

Oops, sorry wrong forum, wrong post!

[lilyka]

ya know it is entirely possible the GF just bumped into her, thought it was nothing and then when her leg started to hurt thought "omg, maybe I totally stepped on the poor kid!!! maybe it was way worse than I thought!" I used to babysit a little girl and one day I was brushing her hair and noticed a huge bruise. When her mom got home I confessed everything I thought could have possibly caused it...things at the time that seemed like a bump must have been harder than I thought....turns out it was a birth mark and the bumps really were just bumps.

[Super~Single~Mama]

I'm glad your dd is starting to feel better. I hope you shared that info with your ex so that he and his gf don't continue to feel badly about her leg.