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not on same path as dh - Page 2

post #21 of 25
Thread Starter 
grisandole,
My dh also contimplates on issues for a few days(or actually debates them with others) before he agrees with me. He does the same thing, he'll talk to 'someone else' and THEN everything is okay. But when I think about this, I too do the same thing before I talk to dh. I find info online, in books, in magazines, the library, thru talking with different people(friends, collegues) usually all before I present it to dh.
One of the best things about our marraige is that we can agree to disagree, and I had to bring this into it too! lol
Did anyone see the movie Parenthood, with Steve Martin, and many other stars, the grandma describes life/marraige as a rollercoaster ride. I think when we're going down, it's harder for me to live up to 'me'(and all my ideals) with dh who doesn't choose to go along with everything I feel strongly about. When the ride is fun and smooth, it doesn't bother me so much that he's not in the same car as me. Confusing analogies are my thing
post #22 of 25
Stacyhsmom, I totally understand that analogy!!! And I love that movie!
post #23 of 25
ok, me too! but I have a question, our now 2 yr old slept with us until I was about 8 mo. preg w/ baby now 9 mo.so about 20 or so mo, he co-slep, then dh not only kicked him out of the bed, but into another room! I have had a hard time with this, and the other night brought up bringing him back into our room, a long heated discussion and he finally said, fine, whatever you want...but if he comes back, I'm sleeping somewhere else(threat) ok. not to be mean, but i am perfectly ok with that, ds in question liked to kick dad and snuggle mom all night.my problem is, should i win after powering my dh down and do what I feel is right, continuing my double life of living mainstream when dh is home and happily going more oganimamma the rest of the time, or let him know I love and value him enough to let him father son his way , he beleives is best?......ramble, ramble...... I just don't want to turn all my ideas into power stuggles, I will always win , and not compromise.

sorry for run-on -sentencing..
post #24 of 25
Thread Starter 
AudreyJoy,
Hi! <<<<<hugs>>>> I am wondering what you did and what happened. I read the Continuum Concept by Jean Leidoff only 2 years ago, and only since then have I been plugging along with non=mainstream views, opinions, and life style changes. I always have been open minded and searching, but anyways, I finished reading this great parenting book at the same time we purchased a king size bed, so our son naturally wanted to try it out. I discussed with my dh what I had been reading and we had a family bed for a while(about 5 months), then after a few months dh wondered if the family bed could be a weekend thing. Ds was confused, poor thing was 6. After a few months of a sometime family-bed, my son would sercetly whisper in my ear for me to ask Daddy if he could sleep with in our bed. It was awful, but we got thru it, happily. Now ds sleeps on our floor, on an overstuffed chair and ottoman, or in our bed whenever he asks. We compromise to each others needs and respect them.
I told you my tale because, while not 100% similar, I strongly believe that we need to show and give respect to each other. My dh is not where I am comfortable, but I strongly believe he is where he should be.
post #25 of 25
Dh and I are polar opposites. I love him dearly, but he thinks i'm nuts. He follows my AP lead, but just to avoid controversy. He won't eat a meal without meat. A couple weeks ago i replaced our Sauve body wash with a more natural organic soap from Wholefoods that wasn't tested on animals. Dh broke out in a rash and now insists that he "won't put anything on his body that hasn't been tested on Thumper first". We just moved to a new house and i spent the first week decorating via my Feng Shui book, while he laughed about my excitement over the fact that our toilet faced the correct direction. He truly thinks I am nuts, though tried to humor me. He thinks my "hippiness" is cute , but doesn't take it seriously. He get bothered when i get on a breast is best kick, saying that if someone wants to bottle feed it's fine (he was bottlefed, i nursed till I was 4). He lives on mountain dew and Cocopuffs and has Playstation controllers growing out of his hands.

But he also is a very loving person, who works 2 jobs so I can be a sahm. He takes dd fishing, reads to her, and is incredibly loyal. My 3 yr old dd, who refused to eat meat for a year, now only wants daddy's outside burgers (grilld deerburgers). He helped me move the furniture to optimize our flow of energy. He also encourages my yoga practice (but he insists it is only because I can now get my feet behind my ears! ).

I think we balance each other. Dd is just like both of us.

I just pick my battles with dh.
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