What's my problem with playdates? - Page 2

[pbjmama]

Children who have siblings have 'play dates' 24/7. No need to organize outside activities if you don't want to.

[madskye]

You have 3 kids! That's a playdate at your house already...and your older two seem to be of an age where they could play together well. In a few years, your little one might want to bond with some kids closer to their age...but maybe not!

I have a 5 year old only, and yes, we do playdates! But, I don't have other kids fo her to play with right here in my house. (I am lucky in that my neighbor has 4 kids so she just plays with them a lot.)

[novaxmomof2]

MamaofThree, I didn't mean to come across like a jerk when I said most of the moms didn't play with their kids at the play dates I attended. I hope I didn't offend you. I was just trying to point out that I joined the group for the kids but it ended up being for the moms and because there were so many people and so many unsupervised kids, it didn't work out too well for us. There was one mom in particular who had pretty aggressive children and she was totally checked out. She would yell at her kids if they bothered her when she was having a conversation. She was yelling at her boys so loudly at one play date that she scared my children. I could see the fear on my oldest son's face so we talked about it when we got in the car. It just wasn't for us. I think there is a big difference between keeping one eye on your kids and chatting with other moms and completely ignoring them while they beat up other kids. From your post I can tell you don't fall in the latter category!

[mom2happy]

Originally Posted by novaxmomof2

MamaofThree, I didn't mean to come across like a jerk when I said most of the moms didn't play with their kids at the play dates I attended. I hope I didn't offend you. I was just trying to point out that I joined the group for the kids but it ended up being for the moms and because there were so many people and so many unsupervised kids, it didn't work out too well for us. There was one mom in particular who had pretty aggressive children and she was totally checked out. She would yell at her kids if they bothered her when she was having a conversation. She was yelling at her boys so loudly at one play date that she scared my children. I could see the fear on my oldest son's face so we talked about it when we got in the car. It just wasn't for us. I think there is a big difference between keeping one eye on your kids and chatting with other moms and completely ignoring them while they beat up other kids. From your post I can tell you don't fall in the latter category!

You just havent found the right group of women yet.
There is a way to have playgroups where the moms and kids all interact, play, and chat and have an amazing time.
Even though I have some friends like this. We are all so busy with day to day life and having little babies that it is hard to get together.

[mom2happy]

interesting. i have 5 children and have set up play dates all along. i could give a hoot if i shower. lol i just put on deodorant and brush my teeth and hair. we tend to do alot of things outside though so it isn't that much of a hassle for either party, the kids run around outside together and the moms chill and watch what is going on. i usually bring plenty of food and water and we could be out all day. that way you can plan something for multiple kids at once. set up a park day with a couple moms with kids your kids ages.

As far as the shower goes- that's not why I dont have time for playdates.

I really like playgroups at parks or taking turns having them in our back yards.
It's the playdate thing that drives me crazy. One kid is upset and wants to join it, the other kids wants time alone with their friend. I have to cook and take care of baby......
It's just not worth the hassle sometimes. And DD and DS do play together for hours.

i have totally gotten over my issues with other people having my kids over too, that helps when you get to know the other families by hanging out together. you see how they respond to their kids and how they are in general as people.

I will not ever get over those issues.
My mother was very protective of us as young children and Im as annoying as it was, I am very grateful.
I had a friend in 4th grade and my mother new her father for a few years. he was a very man whos wife passed away a while back.
She felt it was ok to let us have a playdate and dropped me off.
About an hour into the playdate the father was drunk and throwing darts at his younger daughter. I should not have had to see that. I was always upset and didnt know how to handle it when I saw this friend in school, so I couldnt talk to her.
My sister was on a playdate when she was around 10 with a very nice catholic family. We knew them from school and church. The girl had an older brother (19) who would pass by the girls while they played and say little things to my sister.
She was 10, loved the attention, didnt see harm in it, didnt tell my mother.
So, after 5 years of these monthly playdates, they were having sex. That's right she was 15 and he was 24.
They were a "nice family, all acted well together, no reason anyone in the neighborhood would think anything but the best of them.

As much as you think you know a family, you really have to be sure.
I only have one family that I REALLY know that I could leave one of my children with.