Looking for help. I don't think I want my baby. - Page 3

[Super~Single~Mama]

Have you contacted a domestic violence shelter? If the abuse was so bad that you think your ds may have problems stemming from it, you need to get help for that. Follow your mommy gut - if you think theirs a problem, there probably is.

A DV shelter may be able to provide you with some resources - daycare, counseling, financial assistance, etc. Definitely reach out.

If your ped isn't listening, find one who will. If he's crying a lot, could he have reflux? Are you nursing or bottle feeding? If you're using formula he may have an intolerance to the type you are using (I know nothing about formula, but if you're having problems with it I'm sure some other mom's here have some BTDT advice). If you're nursing, he may have some intolerances to things that you're eating - dairy is a biggie for some. Check out kellymom.com for nursing information. Either way, if you think somethings wrong, find someone who will listen and help you rule out the possibilities.

BIG to you. Getting out of an abusive situation is hard. It's even harder with children

[Dena]

Originally Posted by EdnaMarie

Mama, I was bi-racial before they even coined the term. People always asked my mom if I was adopted (they didn't know my dad, she was a single mom at the time). Bless you for loving these babies. You will find your people, you really will. I wish I could invite you over, but we're overseas right now.

Keep in mind that as your situation is hard for you, it is also hard for the kids, so no he may not be happy all the time but that is life, and IT WILL BE OKAY! You are all survivors, you will survive this together. There are babies out there in the NICU, babies whose mamas don't have milk, babies in all kinds of situations and babies in loving, secure, stable homes that still have colic. And all these babies have the potential to grow up strong, healthy, and happy. You can do it. I hope you get to see your doctor. You are a great mom for taking baby to the doctor and following up on this. So many do not... you are already showing that you are a survivor and someone who is moving forward.

This. Beautifully said.

[Sunflower223]

Mama, I've been where you are almost exactly. My ex husband left me right before I had my first child for another woman. We had been together for 7 years. I was on medications for PPD but I tried to commit suicide when she was 3 months old. The medications you are on are probably not working for you.

You need to talk to your healthcare provider about getting on something different. Look for a crisis center, and try to get in to see a therapist. Even if you are very low income you should be able to find help somewhere. Considering the environmental issues in addition the PPD, I think seeing a therapist would be in your best interest. It takes a while to adjust to new meds, and I think with what you are going through you are probably going to need more than meds alone.

I can understand where you are coming from with wanting to give your baby a better life. I have been there. I am sure that your thoughts about adoption come from a sincere place, but you have to get better. Just giving the baby away isn't going to make what you are going through disappear and I am willing to bet it would make things worse. Get yourself some help and get a clear head. Your baby will be fine, you sound like a wonderful mama who has been through a lot and you need some help. I wish I could do more for you because I have been in such a similar place. As for your little baby, the bonding and healing will come in time.

[ShanaV]

Sending you good thoughts and vibes, mama! I'm seconding all if the great advice here about asking for help, adjusting your meds, and that you are doing the best you can in a truly crappy situation. I'd also look into a program like WIC (women, infants, children). It might help you provide more for your kiddos.

BTW, biracial is beautiful!

[Maine Mama Doula]

I really want to post again because with my third child, I really though I was severely suffering from ppd. We were in and out of her doctor's office and they diagnosed her with GERD. Fast forward to her 9 month birthday - they completely missed the boat and she had a severe cardiac congenital defect - an aortic coarctation. If it had been caught early on, say at 2 months, she would have had surgery and recovered just fine. But it wasn't discovered until 9 months, after they threatened to call CPS because of her failure to thrive and my postpartum depression. Of course, they didn't know that my medical issue was a result of their inability to do their job. If it is ppd, I hope that you find the help that you need, but if you think that your baby is suffering from something more than colic, which I did, then pursue that. We KNOW when something is wrong. Good luck mama and I look forward to another update from you.