What am I supposed to be doing as a single parent. My kids always look like crap but they get to school on time. (its a ghetto school so no one is wearing designer clothes and matching socks and brushed hair is optional). i make their lunches most days (not today) and cook meals from scratch (mostly vegetarian which seems much harder than cooking meat. we had chicken tonight. really unhealthy chicken). I try to keep the house clean and laundry washed (fail. I wore dirty clothes to work today). Forgot to pick oldest up from school....Really, Am I expected to work a hard labor job all day and still be a soccer mom who brings home made cookies to church on the Sundays I teach their sunday school class? My xh seems to think this is all totally possible and maybe it is but I feel like I am drowning. I feel like since there is just me, exhausted me, some things just have to give. This track thing is killing me. She has to do it every day after school and one morning a week. except I need her to get her sisters ready and out the door in the mornings. She wants to quit and I want to let her but I live in constant fear of my xh taking me back to court to get more custody if I don't let him have his way. he thinks this whole divorce thing shouldn't effect them or their life style and I am the mom and I need to suck it up and be their driver/personal shopper/ providing them with every opportunity etc. (convenient for him since he doesn't have to do any of this and if it doesn't effect them he doesn't have to feel guilty about leaving us for another woman), I think this is our family and we are one for all and all for one and they just don't have the advantages of a two parent double income family and that sucks but thats life. He also thinks I am a bad mom for not calling the school and setting up their whole track thing for her. I still have no idea when meets are, whats expected of me, how long the season is but I think hey, she is in 8th grade, she needs to bring me this information. If she wants to do it bad enough she will be responsible enough to that. he thinks I am just being lazy. Oh thats right, what started all this was I was so tired after work I fell asleep abd forgot to pick her up. but we live less than a mile from school, but dd, I say this with love is lazy and called her daddy crying for a ride. told him mom wouldn't pick up the phone. ugh. she knows she is not supposed to call her dad to bail her out when she fails to plan. he always bails her out, calls me a bad mom for not jumping to attend to her and then she learns nothing. (really if she missed a couple of lunches she would stop forgetting her lunch box.)
Anyway, am I the only one who thinks that three kids to one single mom make sports and other time sucking activities out of the question? we have one bathroom. so when I get home at five we have 3 to 4 hours to get dinner (and real food is important to me. I cook for my family) on the table, homework done, find some cleanish clothes, take four showers, do chores, say prayers and get to bed. Where exactly am I supposed to fit in daily soccer/track/whatever his great idea practices and games? Am I a bad parent for not getting it? how do other people do it? fast food and late bedtimes? not an option. Also I don't get two days off in a row. ever. period. and I don't have personal days. and don't really get much vacation. Can't switch. I switched with a friend. one day. my kids haven't been to church in a month. too high a price. one day and we have had four weeks of chaos. I am not giving up my one day to sit idle at a track meat. there is laundry and cooking and gardening and church and a weeks worth of errands and chores to do. Am I a bad mom for HATING sports so much. I don't mind pick up games and individual athletic pursuits. Just organized city and school sports that are outside school hours.
Anyway, am I the only one who thinks that three kids to one single mom make sports and other time sucking activities out of the question? we have one bathroom. so when I get home at five we have 3 to 4 hours to get dinner (and real food is important to me. I cook for my family) on the table, homework done, find some cleanish clothes, take four showers, do chores, say prayers and get to bed. Where exactly am I supposed to fit in daily soccer/track/whatever his great idea practices and games? Am I a bad parent for not getting it? how do other people do it? fast food and late bedtimes? not an option. Also I don't get two days off in a row. ever. period. and I don't have personal days. and don't really get much vacation. Can't switch. I switched with a friend. one day. my kids haven't been to church in a month. too high a price. one day and we have had four weeks of chaos. I am not giving up my one day to sit idle at a track meat. there is laundry and cooking and gardening and church and a weeks worth of errands and chores to do. Am I a bad mom for HATING sports so much. I don't mind pick up games and individual athletic pursuits. Just organized city and school sports that are outside school hours.
yeah, she is old enough to walk, ride her bike, arrange for a ride for practices and/or her dad can help out with activities.
it sounds really tough. i feel like i have it easy right now while my boys are small and both at the same preschool/daycare, but even so, i have trouble keeping up. like, they really should have had a bath last night but they didn't, because we had to pile into the car and zip to the store for diapers because i didn't realize i was out (ds2 only wears it to bed, so i use 1/night). by the time we got home they were both whining and fussing so much we had to go straight to bed. 
it happens. (and i'm not a daily bath freak, but they had been in the sandbox yesterday so they kinda needed it . . . ) of course i could have had them hop in the shower with me this morning, but they were playing happily and i just wanted those five minutes alone, you know? bleh.
I heard you mention your ex's opinion of your parenting several times in your original post. Him complaining about you not meeting his standards of mothering must really burn. If he met someone else and left you to parent on your own, how does he have any kind of say in how you manage your home and parent the kids? I mean, who cares what he thinks? I think you should laugh in his face if he criticizes you. What- he's going to take you to court and get custody of the kids because you let your dd quit track? Because you prioritize nutritious meals and adequate sleep over a high commitment sport? Because you want to teach your dd to take responsibility for her own actions by not rescuing her every time she forgets her lunch? What kind of judge is going to listen to him?
Love this! SO many single mamas could use this as their motto!
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