Lunch at school vs. the brown bag

[HappilyEvrAfter]

I put this here cause it's really a child issue...not so much a school issue.

Ok, let me say, I don't really mind whether my kid chooses to eat in the school food vs what I'd put in his lunch box.
Actually, their menu isn't horrid and it would really save me some precious single momma time if he'd just eat there...

That being said sometimes he says he wants to take a sandwich or a thermos with soup, but then when he gets there he wants to go with the crowd and eat there.
This is where our issue comes from...cause then the lunch I sent just "goes to waste".

I'm 75% alright with just putting my foot down and telling him he's just gonna eat what they provide, but I remember being forced into that and some days I'd be sooooo hungry the rest of the day because I didn't like what was being served...and I already know what his attention span is like when his blood sugar drops. I don't need to create problems for the teacher just because of this.

So, on one hand I feel his pain (being picky and wanting to do what other kids are doing), but on the other hand the grocery budget is already feeling the pain of wasted food because of indecision (his and mine).

On the whole, it's not a huge issue, but what would you do?
I already make sure there's enough money in his school account in case he does decide to eat there, but then I end up with a warm sandwhich at the end of the day.

Should I just let the money run out and make him eat what I send? Period and be done with it?
Ugh, then I gotta make sure I pack something everyday!

It's kinda almost become a "his comfort/blood sugar vs. my time/grocery budget" thing.

[Alyantavid]

Do you know ahead of time what they're serving? We get a monthly menu and I let ds choose what days he wants to eat there and what days he wants to take a lunch.

Of course, sometimes the lunch changes and it will be something he likes so he eats that instead of the lunch I sent. As long as it comes back still in one piece, we save it or he has it for a snack or dh (aka the garbage disposal) eats it.

[HappilyEvrAfter]

Originally Posted by Alyantavid

Do you know ahead of time what they're serving? We get a monthly menu and I let ds choose what days he wants to eat there and what days he wants to take a lunch.

Of course, sometimes the lunch changes and it will be something he likes so he eats that instead of the lunch I sent. As long as it comes back still in one piece, we save it or he has it for a snack or dh (aka the garbage disposal) eats it.

Yes, it's on our fridge. Every night I tell him what they're having, he lets me know what he wants to do and we plan our what he'll take.
In the morning I'll prep it, ask him one more time for assurance and then it goes in the lunch box.
And, still, we're having days where it comes back untouched.

And, Lol, being the garbade disposal is actually part of the problem because I started munching on whatever it is on the car ride home....and I'll be damned if this is gonna sabotage all my hard work!!!! ROFLMAO.

[limabean]

Can they pay cash for their lunches instead of using the account? I'd probably zero out the account and send him with money on the days he decides to have the school lunch, so that on days when he's decided to take a lunch that's the only option -- it wouldn't be okay with me to ask me to prepare a meal only to trash it and spend money on something else.

[AbbieB]

Originally Posted by limabean

Can they pay cash for their lunches instead of using the account? I'd probably zero out the account and send him with money on the days he decides to have the school lunch, so that on days when he's decided to take a lunch that's the only option -- it wouldn't be okay with me to ask me to prepare a meal only to trash it and spend money on something else.

[jillmamma]

Would it help if you put an ice pack in with his lunch in the lunch box to keep it cold?

[HappilyEvrAfter]

Originally Posted by limabean

Can they pay cash for their lunches instead of using the account? I'd probably zero out the account and send him with money on the days he decides to have the school lunch, so that on days when he's decided to take a lunch that's the only option -- it wouldn't be okay with me to ask me to prepare a meal only to trash it and spend money on something else.

Originally Posted by jillmamma

Would it help if you put an ice pack in with his lunch in the lunch box to keep it cold?

Well, I'm not completly comfortable sending him with cash. He's not very good at keeping track of physical money (which is partly my fault).
I've been doing his allowance on a ledger system. He's excellent at remembering what his allowance balance is, but cash gets lost quickly. He can tell you what all the coins and bills are (even the presidents), but the physical cash doesn't have any worth to him.

No, I'm not happy with food being trashed either. I'm on the brink of being a tightwad so double wasting of food is irksome.

I think I'm going to have to make him eat at school the more I think about it. Sigh.

An icebox for the lunch is a good idea and would save stuff that needs to stay cold.
What about stuff like soup that sits in a thermos all day long at room temperature...is it still good at the end of the day?
I generally send it almost room temp so it's not frigid by lunch (he won't eat it cold, but still wants it).

What do you think some other healthy food options are that would either be cold all day or room temperature.
Sorry, I'm a pretty picky eater myself so my ideas are highly uncreative.
He won't eat PB&J, btw. I guess I could try just PB. That might fly and be alright at room temp all day.

[limabean]

Originally Posted by HappilyEvrAfter

Well, I'm not completly comfortable sending him with cash.

I hear you. Last year when DS was in kindergarten, they had a "hot lunch day" to kind of practice for the following year, and we had to send cash and I was nervous. But the teacher suggested putting it in a sealed envelope and zipping it in a small backpack pocket that they don't normally use so that it wouldn't accidentally fling out when they were getting something else, and it worked out great! Would something like that work for your DS?

What do you think some other healthy food options are that would either be cold all day or room temperature.
Sorry, I'm a pretty picky eater myself so my ideas are highly uncreative.
He won't eat PB&J, btw. I guess I could try just PB. That might fly and be alright at room temp all day.

DS's school doesn't allow PB, so that's out for us (even though my DS would eat it daily if he could). Other options we've been doing, on either bread or a tortilla, are cream cheese and jam or sliced fresh strawberries, cream cheese and cucumber, or turkey/ham and cheese. Non-sandwich options are pizza (DS likes it room temp rather than hot anyway), muffins (with zucchini or carrots or something in them), or a smoothie. Sides are things like crackers, yogurt, string cheese, whole fruit, or fruit salad.

[green betty]

How is this _not_ a school issue? It's 100% not applicable to kids who don't go to school. Mods?

[mommy2maya]

I think it's pretty clear- if you pack, you eat that lunch. There shouldn't be an option. Make it very clear to him that if he packs, he eats it.

[HappilyEvrAfter]

Originally Posted by green betty

How is this _not_ a school issue? It's 100% not applicable to kids who don't go to school. Mods?

Because I was really looking at a child behavioral issue and trying to get him to either simply stick to eating what he takes or force him to eat whatever the school serves.

The school is not a problem at all. The actions of my child are the issue.

It does happen at school, but, from my perspective, this behavior could just as easily occur at a babysitter that I sent food to.

If it needs to be moved, so be it.

[Aubergine68]

Can you send an emergency snack that will last ok in his bag just in case he doesn't eat the lunch and make it clear that lunch comes first? Something like jerky or nuts or dried fruit? Maybe trail mix?

Then he can eat the snack after school or on the run and it can be replaced every couple of days if need be?

[HappilyEvrAfter]

I'm guessing my choice is going to have to be making him more fiscally responsible and zero out the lunch account.

He'll either have to take money or a lunchbox, I suppose.

I would really rather have found some tricks to getting him to remember (or choose) to take his box to the cafeteria on days he takes it and stick to it.

Oh, well.

[velochic]

How often can you load the account at school? Perhaps you can put enough in for a single lunch when he decides to have lunch and doesn't take his lunch bucket into school and leave it at 0 for the other days.

[amma_mama]

Originally Posted by Aubergine68

Can you send an emergency snack that will last ok in his bag just in case he doesn't eat the lunch and make it clear that lunch comes first? Something like jerky or nuts or dried fruit? Maybe trail mix?

Then he can eat the snack after school or on the run and it can be replaced every couple of days if need be?

Yes, I would just send him a lot of healthy snacky stuff that he can eat if he chooses not to buy lunch. Cut up fruits and veggies, crackers, milk box, nuts, etc. and maybe just one small thing that may go to waste, such as cheese or some turkey slices, which you could also put cold in an insulated container and could potentially be saved for an after-school snack. When DD is hungry after school, the first to be eaten are any of her perishable leftovers from lunch. I would skip the hot foods, such as soup, that would be more likely to be totally wasted.

Last year, DD's school only had hot lunch on certain days, so that made it easier. We had lunchbox days and hot lunch days. She is starting a new school this year with hot lunch options everyday so we will see how it goes. I may have to follow my own advice!

[HappilyEvrAfter]

Ugh. I had a whole response typed and POOF!...gone.

Short response: small snacks that could be eaten as an immediate after p/u snack...good. I had just loaded his lunch account with a month's worth on $...bad.
Will make snack adjustments to his lunch on days he might falter and eat at school and work on getting him to stick to a decision and REMEMBER that his fully packed lunch is in his bag....maybe I'll pin something to his shirt to help him remember.

Thanks...sometimes I don't think clearly about logistical matters with the kid.

[zinemama]

Originally Posted by mommy2maya

I think it's pretty clear- if you pack, you eat that lunch. There shouldn't be an option. Make it very clear to him that if he packs, he eats it.

I agree. My position would be: eat what I pack for you, period. If you come home with it uneaten, that's your afterschool snack. Or dinner. And if you choose to eat school lunch in the morning and decide you don't want it once you get there (having known ahead of time what's on the menu), well, you'll go hungry the rest of the day.

Maybe this sounds cold, but wasting food is a huge issue for me. I have lived in the developing world and the amount of waste we condone here appalls me.

[happysmileylady]

How old is he?

This is how we have handled the lunch issue for years (dd is now a hs freshman.)

As early as possible (I want to say around 3rd grade...ish?) DD started making her own lunch. We spent quite a bit of time going over healthy foods, how to put together a balanced meal and so on. And for the first several weeks at least, I was right there while she made it, making suggestions of what to put in, explaining why something couldn't go in, etc. And she's made her own lunch ever since. Now, since I am now home in the mornings and overall working much less, I will occasionally put together a lunch for her and DH, but for the most part, her lunch is her responsibility.

She does still get to eat at school occasionally. At her school, every Friday is pizza day. They have different types of pizza each week(ie one week it might be a homemade deep dish, the next, the typical school pizza, the next it might be a special Pizza Hut day etc) and she really wanted to eat pizza on pizza day. So, at the beginning of the year, I check out the cost of the school lunch (this year it's $2 even) and then write a check to fill up her account for one lunch at school each week for the entire semester. When she was younger I did it for 9 weeks at a time. And once that money was gone, it was gone, I didn't put more into the account. So if she used it more than once a week, it ran out sooner, and then she was stuck, no pizza until the end of the quarter or end of the semester.

[elmh23]

My Kindergartner and I go over the lunch menu the first day we recieve it for that month (so since it's the start of September and we got it on Aug. 31, we went over it then.) She's allowed to pick three days to eat school lunch per month (because it's expensive and a lot of the choices I am not okay with her eating everyday!) The rule is, if I make you a lunch, you eat it. If you eat school lunch, then you can't complain to me about how you didn't like it. She is not allowed to change her mind in the middle of the school day.

[Teensy]

Our printed school menu doesn't always end up matching what the cafeteria serves. Mostly my DS#2 wants to eat a packed lunch, but there are a couple of hot lunches he does like to buy.

I pack him a lunch every day, but have told him that if he wants to buy a hot lunch anytime, he can. It's not very often, but he does sometimes choose to buy the hot lunch and bring home his packed lunch uneaten. Usually I can save a few items (raisins, crackers, etc.) but others are a lost cause (thermos of spaghetti, banana not all squashed to mush).

I'm not thrilled by the waste, but my DC often don't eat everything I pack for them anyway (especially anything from the veggie family), so it is not an out of the ordinary occurrence either.

YMMV

BTW - To keep hot food hot, I put boiling water in the thermos for 5-10 minutes before putting their lunch in the thermos. This definitely helps keep the temperature up until lunchtime.