If you do/did no tv

[omelette]

Are you very strict on your no tv rule? Only at home or when they are visiting family and friends too?
Do you think it will change as your child gets older? If you have now allowed tv watching have you noticed any changes in your child behaviour wise or other?
I'm curious what others are doing. We were very certain about no tv at home but I'm starting to maybe rethink it all.

Ds is coming up to 4.5yrs and does not watch tv at home. He watches movies at his cousin's house but when his cousin comes to our house we don't watch anything (even though she asks). DH also watches a youtube video every once in a blue moon if ds asks about something. They are always animal related. That's about all the screen time he gets.
We now have a little one at home and I'm finding the days very challenging and it's almost impossible to get dinner made, laundry folded etc. Everybody keeps telling me to let him watch tv. I keep standing my ground and saying no, he doesn't need it. Lately though, I'm starting to wonder if it would be terrible. DH is not on board but I was thinking maybe if we did non-fiction only and not daily, 20 minutes/watching session. DH and I need to decide if we'll go for it or not.
So in the mean time please share your experience regarding tv with your kids.

[craft_media_hero]

We did no tv at home up until dd was about 4-ish? But she would watch at other people's houses or we would go to a movie once in a while.

Then I met my husband, and his big tv became part of our lives. No tv shows, but movies and age appropriate video games (like Castle Crashers) that we would all play together. And netflix. Not constantly or even every day, but regularly throughout the week, maybe 3-4 viewings?

Now we have moved (three years later) and our TV is on ice for a while (both dh and I agreed on this), and it has been good for all of us, of course.

I don't know how, but my kid got screen-addicted. I hate it. Even before we had the tv in our house, though, she would "crave" it from viewings at other homes, and she really whines and acts like she's missing out on smth. It's a big deal.

If I had my druthers, I would have skipped the very mild tv-in-home period that we had from about your son's age to 7yo. That's just my experience, though.

It sounds like your son copes very well with only sporadic viewing at other places or a video on the computer now and then. He will probably be fine if you let him start having more viewing privileges. BUT if you don't have a tv in your home, I would advise you not to move one in---instead maybe he could watch something on the computer or play an educational game (starfall and poissonrouge are great sites, IMO).

***oh, and I do notice a HUGE difference in dd's behavior when she's had screen time. She gets really cranky. My lo is very sensitive to overstimulation, though; I know that may not be the case with all children.

[omelette]

Yeah, he never asks for tv at home. We've talked about it (b/c he has asked why other kids get to watch tv) and how it's not necessary b/c there are so many other things we can do (I'm just finding it hard to do other things with him with a high needs babe). He also knows it's a very special treat to watch it at his cousin's house and the youtube vids are so infrequent that he sees them as a special thing and doesn't ask for them. I'm just scared to fall into the tv trap though.
We do have tv and cable in the house and I watch it in the evenings. DS knows this and we've explained it's for adults in our house and when he is an adult he can make the choice as to whether he has tv in his house too.
He's great and seems ok with these rules, another reason I'm hesitant to allowing it.

[bartleby]

My daughter will be 6 in November, and has had no TV at home and some of the other media exposure you describe--namely, animal-related You Tube videos. When we went to Alaska to watch the Iditarod, we came home with a documentary (1 hour long) that she watched a few times after we got home. I was fine with that.

She does occasionally see TV at other kids' houses. Now that she's getting older and is at kids' houses without me (and more often that not, limited parental supervision while at others' houses), it's not really possible for me to have complete control. I'm okay with that too. (As long as her friends aren't watching Hannah Montana stuff. I'd put my foot down there!)

I am with craft media hero on maybe leaning toward web sites like Starfall if you need a quick break. My daughter was really into Starfall at your kid's age, and we did have to limit it after a while because she was always asking for it. Now, it never even comes up. And, even though she has seen movies/TV at other homes--e.g., Curious George, Magic School Bus--she doesn't ask for it here. It's just not part of her life at home. It's not what we do, and she--at least for now--accepts it.

My worry about beginning to allow screen time is that it may become a slippery slope. And to me the incessant begging for TV/computer/movies just isn't worth the headache. My daughter's friend who watches lots of TV frequently begs to watch something while at our house, and no matter how many times I say no, she still asks. (I tell her we don't have movies, but of course she is well aware that we have a computer with Internet access.)

If I were you, I'd go with Starfall type sites and/or find some acceptable 15-20 minute animal-related (or whatever your kid likes) videos on You Tube and allow him that when you need some time. For some reason, allowing my daughter to do this every now and then has not created a media monster, though I suspect that if I allowed TV (esp. TV shows that her friends watch), I'd hear begging for it all day long.

[craft_media_hero]

Originally Posted by omelette

Yeah, he never asks for tv at home. We've talked about it (b/c he has asked why other kids get to watch tv) and how it's not necessary b/c there are so many other things we can do (I'm just finding it hard to do other things with him with a high needs babe). He also knows it's a very special treat to watch it at his cousin's house and the youtube vids are so infrequent that he sees them as a special thing and doesn't ask for them. I'm just scared to fall into the tv trap though.
We do have tv and cable in the house and I watch it in the evenings. DS knows this and we've explained it's for adults in our house and when he is an adult he can make the choice as to whether he has tv in his house too.
He's great and seems ok with these rules, another reason I'm hesitant to allowing it.

I like your stance. It sounds great. I think you're right on the money and your momma gut is saying don't change a thing.

It is a slippery slope! Don't create a media monster like I did

If he's not asking for it, then that it so great. If he starts watching more, he might start asking all the time, and it is a nightmare!

After 2mo with no tv at home (we're "saving up" for a wall mount and I hope it takes us til she's in college ), dd asks a lot less often, but it is a Big Deal sometimes, ie she checked out a movie (Barbie Mariposa=puke) from the library and realized that she couldn't watch it at home and was about it for quite a while. She's starting to get to where she's "okay" with just an occasional 'educational' show and that's that. Sigh.

[omelette]

Good to get others input. It's making me lean more towards no tv.
I'll have to check out those 2 websites mentioned.
We've also recently discovered audio books and those are great. DS loves them and is now starting to listen to them while I make dinner. So really, audio books might get us through this stretch.

[craft_media_hero]

Stay strong, mama You are doing the right thing, and it will pay off in the long run!

[spmamma]

I agree with PP - stay strong and keep going tv-free!

DD is virtually screen-free at home. She's watched Mary Poppins twice in her 3 years, catches a few minutes of DH's football game once a week, doesn't play computer games and very rarely watches a YouTube video about animals or steam trains. Thankfully, this has meant that she never asks for it.

I know it's hard to entertain your older one when you've got a babe in arms. In my situation DD is the high needs/spirited one and DS is spunky but fairly easy (at least compared to the way DD was as a baby! ). I know everyone will tell you to use the TV but it doesn't solve anything. Yes, you've managed to distract your child for a while, but the need for your attention hasn't been met. Putting it off sometimes only intensifies that need, which can sometimes lead to frustration/tantrums.

[crowcaw]

I have almost 5 yo twins. They watch videos at their grandparent's house 1x per week, sometimes 2, for less than an hour, and it's something they only do there. They don't ask at home unless I've let them watch something and then it's constant asking for the next 2 weeks. Eventually they forget about it again. I don't know what would happen if we had a 1 show a day rule; my guess is it would be the same as the no tv rule -- they'd know the rule and only ask for more when I've loosened the rule for a moment and they want to see what more they can get. Right now I don't see any need for more viewing and we're not planning on changing anything but I also think 1 judiciously chosen show at whatever interval I picked probably wouldn't hurt anything. I do see the pp's point that it wouldn't solve dc's need for your attention, but if there is an interval where they're not going to get your attention anyway and you need them distracted to deal with something else everyday, a scheduled distraction could work. I'm lucky that my girls are really into crafty things so giving them paper and glue works as well as tv would for when dinner needs to be made, but if I didn't have something that did it for them at this age I don't think I'd be adverse to 30 minutes of tv. Again, scheduled and consistent would be the key for us.

[Marimami]

We were completely electronic media free until DD was about 4.5 or so? I can't remember now. Then we allowed extremely limited viewing of cooking YouTube videos (she loved Liv Hanson) and Dragonfly TV from PBS kids (science show for kids). They were perfect because they were all between 5-10 minutes long.

She turns 6 next week and we have slowly added educational things from Discovery Education, National Geographic, Families of the World, and sciency things like Mythbusters from Netflix. That's all done with me or DH using the laptop we use for homeschooling stuff.

I really struggled with whether to add any screen time to her world. I probably was willing to do it because her interests were so focused on non-fiction. It was easier for me to accept her watching a documentary than it was a Disney film. I decided if we were going to homeschool that I personally wanted to be able to allow her to experience things that we wouldn't be able to do first hand. That's how I justified it anyway.

I'll be honest.. we let her use Starfall a couple of times, and I regretted it. I won't go into the reasons why, but it just didn't work for us. She didn't really like it either.

DD doesn't like TV or movies when she sees them at friends' houses. Having not been bombarded with cartoons, Disney, etc. has not made it an illicit fruit for her. Rather, she is somewhat horrified by it. She has found it to be frightening and seriously cannot fathom why kids would want to sit and watch Disney-esque movies instead of doing something else.

I think because we don't have a TV she doesn't see us watching TV after she goes to bed so it doesn't seem like a secret, special thing that only we get to do. Rather, it's just not something that our family is interested in.

I always hear people say that if you limit kid's access, they'll just covet screen time, electronics, etc. That has completely not been our experience at all so I just wanted to share our story to give you support!

Yea, she was sometimes the odd one out when girls started playing "princesses" but she pretty much lets it roll off her skin. Most of them have grown out of that now and now she just keeps hearing about Harry Potter and Star Wars.. But, again, she doesn't seem interested. I've shared the plots with her, and she said she doesn't want to see them. So, we don't.

As for computer use, she sends me chat messages while I'm at work now throughout the day. It's awesome, and it's pretty much the only thing she uses the computer for. We do let her use our iPhones occasionally, but it's extremely sporadic and brief.

Holli

[leighi123]

Ds is not allowed any tv, but does watch a rare youtube video (usually less than 2min long about something specific, like when he wanted to know more about what a volcano was, or for certian songs that I've forgotten the words/tune to!). He has also seen Mircle on 34th street at xmas time and has gone to the movies a couple times, but those are special treats.

His friends all do TV, though most of them its limited and only specific shows/no commercials, BUT they all know we dont do TV, so its off if we go to their house, which is fine b/c the kids are busy playing anyways!



The only thing I worry about is when he gets older. Growing up I watched basically no TV other than taped episodes of sesame street my grandma mailed me, and that was only on saturday mornings for an hour. We lived overseas and they didnt have TV in english so it was never something I was interested in.
BUT when we went to CA for summers/christmas, my sister and I watched a LOT of TV, because it was such a novelty and we had access to it. I dont want ds to end up the same way, b/c now I really like TV (I only watch it when ds goes to bed, I DVR everything)

[bartleby]

Originally Posted by Marimami

I really struggled with whether to add any screen time to her world. I probably was willing to do it because her interests were so focused on non-fiction. It was easier for me to accept her watching a documentary than it was a Disney film. I decided if we were going to homeschool that I personally wanted to be able to allow her to experience things that we wouldn't be able to do first hand. That's how I justified it anyway.

Yea, she was sometimes the odd one out when girls started playing "princesses" but she pretty much lets it roll off her skin. Most of them have grown out of that now and now she just keeps hearing about Harry Potter and Star Wars.. But, again, she doesn't seem interested. I've shared the plots with her, and she said she doesn't want to see them. So, we don't.

This is my experience too. I don't really have a problem with non-fiction stuff occasionally, especially when my daughter shows an interest. She's probably not going to see a volcano erupt or a canine surgery or whatever in her life any time soon, so watching video of it is, I think, a decent use of our time every now and then.

The princess thing! Ugh. It is rampant among her friends, and it just rolls off her back too. A friend will ask her, "Which princess is your favorite?" And she'll say, "Oh, I like the blue one." not knowing at all who "the blue one" even is. So, she plays along, sort of, but doesn't seem to feel left out. She just gamely tries to participate, but never plays that kind of stuff herself. Kids around her will be quoting movies or TV shows, and she just listens quietly like you would if someone were talking about something you knew nothing about and had no interest in. No biggie. At least for now.

Good luck, OP. I think you are on the right path!

[omelette]

Thanks all for sharing.
DH and I were talking about it tonight and we're going to keep with tv free. It's hard when everybody you know allows their kids to watch tv. I feel like I'm always explaining our choice or defending it without putting down their decision to let their child watch it. But I was strong and certain about no tv when we started, so it's good to be reminded by like minded people why we went this route.
DS is so excited by the audio books right now that I'm going to start 'scheduling' a story when I need to get dinner made. Tonight he was so cute, at dinner he was telling us that he just couldn't stop seeing the story in his eyes that he listened to earlier in the day.

[cattmom]

Does anyone know good audiobooks for age 4?

[spmamma]

Originally Posted by cattmom

Does anyone know good audiobooks for age 4?

We gave DD a bunch of my childhood read-along cassettes for her birthday this year. If you're into classic stories, this may be a good way to go. They're easy to find on eBay.

[omelette]

My son is loving Beatrix Potter, Little Bear (original stories), Jack and the Beanstalk, Gingerbreadman, Velveteen Rabbit, Winnie the Pooh.

We've been getting our 'books' from the library and itunes. There are some great ones out there, there is also lots of junk too though.

[Girlprof]

Good for you for sticking with how *you* want to raise your kids!

We are TV free. My mom used to sometimes get on my to have DS watch a video when I was needing a break. We finally showed him something Baby Einstein and he was terrified of it, LOL.

Note, we are not screen free. DS watches the occasional movie, maybe 1-2x/month. He is now 6 and he got a DS for Christmas last year. He's allowed about 15-20 minutes a day on that but most days he forgets and doesn't play at all. We have recently started watching a couple of Thomas episodes before bedtime a few times a week.

This is just my own humble opinion, but here it is anyway. We don't do any commercial TV because I don't want the kids (or us) exposed to the commercials. But we were that way long before the kids arrived. I don't mind age appropriate DVDs or computer stuff like Starfall but we keep a tight lid on the total number of minutes.

However, we rarely use all that as a babysitter. We do allow extended DS usage on long trips. I think if we did use more DVDs as babysitters, it might get too tempting to say, well, just this one time, you can watch another video. Then the kids know right away that it might be worth begging for it and that makes me nuts.

Hang in there. We had a baby with a 4.5 year old too and that can be a harder stage than some. Your older kid will be able to self entertain more and more and the baby will get more independent. It's really worth it to get through this stage.

The audio books sound great, btw!

[PikkuMyy]

I was raised without a TV until I was a teenager. I was mostly happy about it as a child and as an adult, I'm really happy.

I did watch at other people's houses or in my dad's workshop in the basement (8" screen BW TV for Sesame St.).

We have a TV set for movies but no television reception and plan to do the same for our future children, although we will let them watch DVDs that we own.

[kaur]

Our dd is 4.5 years, no TV shows but I did get her the Scholastic dvd's which are great...another that she loves is her Gaiam yoga dvd. It does last about 45 mins but is a great way for her to do an activity while watching TV....and it lets me get lots done

[pregnant@40]

My son is 5.5 yo, and we just got tv/cable. TV is crap, and there is nothing on for any of us. We'll probably cancel soon.

My child has a huge collection of videos, but he would prefer to play outside w/ friends or do some activity over watching a video any day. By allowing him access, I think we've completely eliminated the allure of media.