Decision made!

[MamaLea]

We are going to find out the sex.

My 4 year old thinks it is a girl and I want him to be prepared ahead of time in case he's getting another brother.

My father also told me about some studies that have been done that say knowing the sex increases the bond and changes the way you talk to your baby in utero.

And actually I want to run my own test. With my first I was fiercely attached straight out. Didn't want anyone else touching him, wouldn't be in a different room, even brought him to the bathroom with me. Couldn't be apart. With my second, didn't find out sex, and it took several weeks for e attachment to start. I'd let anyone hold him. I'd leave him home with dh to go to store real quick. I still felt very mommy toward him and had strong desires to care for him, but it wasn't the same connection I had with my first. I'm sure some of that is a first baby thing, but I'm also wondering if part of it was how we 'knew' him before he was born. Knew the sex, named him, all that. So I'm interested to see this time what my instincts are. I know also there are several other factors in play btw, just some fun observations and experiences.

Opinions?

[1bighappyfam]

I've done it both ways. I personally prefer to know beforehand.

It was cool to wait until delivery but I prefer to call baby by name, buy gender specific items. Even daydreaming is different...

For me the delivery is exciting and special enough. I never feel like I am missing some sort of element by knowing.

[michanders4]

At first I thought I didn't want to find out this time, but now I feel like I really want to know. DH will do whatever I want with this one. We found out with DS and I did feel a much stronger bond with him once I knew. I'm also starting to feel like I want a girl but feel like its probably a boy? I just think finding out ahead of time is the right decision for us!

[changingseasons]

I'd love to know... but I decided I want to avoid all unnecessary procedures this pregnancy, including ultrasound. So I'm stuck with the pendulum test, Chinese gender predictor calendar, .... what else?

[katroshka]

This is my 3rd baby, but the first time we are finding out the gender early. I never felt the need to find out with my girls, but this time I can hardly wait.

I made the decision initially because dh and my daughters are all expecting a boy, and I want any disappointment/ readjustment to happen BEFORE the baby is born. But once I decided on it, I started getting super excited and I've been dying to find out!

[milosmomma]

I've never NOT found out so I've only experienced one side, but I found that I felt MUCH more connected to the baby after I found out the gender. Also, I was wrong on my gender guesses with both, so I'm glad that I had a chance to get used to the idea before the baby was here.

[gen_here]

We've never found before birth because I choose to not do ultrasounds in pregnancy (unless my doctor before or midwife now would think something was amiss - then I'd do it in a heartbeat). I was extremely ill during my first pregnancy for about 36 of the 41+ weeks - so everyone and their brother told me it was a girl. I personally have always loved the heart rate as the gender predictor: over 140 = girl and under 140 = boy... and the stinker was EXACTLY 140 every single time. So when "she" was born with a penis... I was a little stunned =)

But his labor was also very long, and the pushing stage was an eternity (3.5 hours) - so for me, the finally knowing if he was an R or an M was totally worth it.

With my second, the pregnancy was completely different - so I knew (and was right) that it was a girl. This pregnancy is very much like that one, so I'm thinking another girl.

My best friend is due any day with her 3rd. They tried the first 2 to find out the sex, and both babies hid. She was frustrated, but what can you do? This time, the babe cooperated (girl). After the fact, she said she was really kind of disappointed that they found out - like most of the mystery was gone, and she didn't like that half the reveal (the other half being the looks of the baby) was already known. They think they're probably done with three, but she said that she would not try to find out the gender again if they have another one.

[Family4Christ]

I like to know. I don't know if would've affected my bond with either kiddos, but I sure like giving them a name at 20 weeks and knowing what to expect.

[delaneymom]

We've always found out, and will with this baby too. My husband would rather know beforehand, and I feel like so few of the decisions are his that I'd respect his wishes on this. If it was only up to me I'd probably wait though.

[jcregan]

I did not find out with my first and felt bonded the whole way through.. we had a good nickname which helps cause I don't like to call the baby "it". Until I actually got pregnant again I always said I would not find out... but... now that I am pregnant I feel the need to be as organized and ready as possible - so I think I want to find out.

I wonder if it is more of a 2nd baby thing for why the OP felt a bit differently with the 2nd. I have friends who report similarly... you know your baby will be ok without you for a few minutes if you leave it with Dad while you go to the store... and someone else holding it can be a blessing and I think many people just are not quite as worried after the first time.

[dizzysmom]

DH did not find out with his DS, and he did not want to find out DD's gender before she was born either. I'm a big planner, and wanted to be able to pick up whatever baby stuff I could during the summer before she was born. So I told him that the tech could just tell me and DH could just not pay any attention to the colors that I was buying

I'm already dying to find out what this baby is, and so is DH. I really feel like it makes the pregnancy seem more real for me, plus I like to get all of the name arguments hashed out before the baby gets here.

[Lyss]

We've never found out the gender before, and I'm *excited*!!!! I haven't scheduled the u/s yet - it's at least 6 weeks away. I hope first of all that the baby's healthy and everything looks good, and secondly that we get a REALLY good view of its genitals.

[BeanyMama]

I always feel much more connected after finding out the gender. Though, to be fair, I've never not found out so I can't say what that's like in the second half of pregnancy.