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Queer & Pregnant: September, October & November - Page 19

post #361 of 442

2moms3kids- congrats! jumpers.gif


abeecharmer- How is DP holding up? I hope that she has lots of distractions. I can't believe we only have 11 weeks now! Although with your expecting twins, I think you will "win that race".


Library- You look great :)


Kimlyn- Soon for you! So exciting! 


AFM- 29 weeks today, I can't believe I only have 2 1/2 months left!! I know starting next week, with the holiday busyness in full swing, the time is going to fly by. I have to take the 3 hour GD test Monday, please wish me luck. 


QOTD- (Please feel free to share whatever you are comfortable with) How long did you TTC? What methods did you use and which was the successful one? Meds? How long have you been with your DP/DW? How old are you? How many children do you have? How many more children would you like? Also, post a picture if you're comfortable. With all the new/returning faces, I would love to get a sense of who everyone is smile.gif

post #362 of 442

Woo hoo!  Let's play along.  On that note, I recalled that we used to have a Queer TTC stories thread that was stickied to the top of the forum.  I PMed the forum moderator, and hopefully she can make that happen again!


QOTD- (Please feel free to share whatever you are comfortable with) How long did you TTC? What methods did you use and which was the successful one? Meds? How long have you been with your DP/DW? How old are you? How many children do you have? How many more children would you like? Also, post a picture if you're comfortable. With all the new/returning faces, I would love to get a sense of who everyone is smile.gif

I married my dear wife in 2005 and we started dating in 2003. This March, we'll have been a couple for 8 years.  I'm currently 32 and she's currently 30.  We have two children, now ages 13 and 15, that we adopted in 2007.  This is our first pregnancy and baby.  We always wanted a baby and our initial plan was to adopt a boy between the ages of 5 and 8, and then later conceive a baby girl. 


Adoption was our first choice and always part of our family plan.  Having a baby was actually much more complicated for us.  I don't actually really enjoy kids between the ages of 0-5, but I always had wanted to experience pregnancy.  My DW knew that she'd never birth a child (she's made it very clear she's not interested), but she really liked the idea of a baby.  We were divided, or rather polarized, for many years on the unknown versus known donor issue.  We also weren't really sure about adding a third to the mix.  There were times leading up to the conception of the maybe-baby where I was pretty sure we were at our max number of kids.  We both flip-flopped back and forth.  I had set a deadline of March 2010 to decide whether or not we were going to try to have a baby as I'm getting up there in age and had no idea at the time whether or not I'd have fertility issues to address.  Having had adopted kids where we've had to share more than we ever thought possible (we didn't sign up for an open adoption, which wasn't even an option because the kids were crown wards, but their birth parents are in their lives now), my DW was no longer so opposed to a known donor. 


In March 2010 we decided to move forward with our maybe-baby project and we asked a friend of ours to be a known donor.  We spent the spring drafting up our donor contract and charting in more detail.  We did our first insemination in July (at home with a syringe and artichoke jar while our two kids were at summer camp) and got pregnant right away.  Obviously, this was MUCH faster than we anticipated.


On the number of kids? I think we're done.  Well, if money were no object I'd like to get pregnant again with DW eggs.  But, I'm not sure I want to be parenting that long.  She's also really interested in adopting another kid, a teenager, once our two kids have moved out of the house and are self-sufficient.  I'm not quite sure I'm up for another adoption and a teenager at that.  I've discovered that as much as I love working with teens, they're not always my favourite people to parent ;)

post #363 of 442

Edited by Pearl1 - 2/7/11 at 4:00pm
post #364 of 442

 wave.gif Welcome to Raegan& welcome back Cejae!  I'm thinking of you both and hoping that these stressful first few weeks go fast and that you're soon contentedly settled into being pregnant for long, healthy pregnancies! Cejae, I'm glad you're feeling better, and I hope you find the right answer about how to monitor things.  And I hope you can get back to traveling soon! What kind of talks do you give? (I'm a professional nerd too, but of the more stationary sort).


2moms3kids: Hooray for a household full of girls! Your 19 week countdown made me realize that March is starting to get close!


abeecharmer: Wow, two weeks of bedrest already!  Is R going crazy?  How is your daughter handling it? I hope those two babes stay put and stay healthy!


librarylady: you look great!  How gratifying to have such a cute belly at 18 weeks!  I'm now nearing 23, and I think I look about the same as you. Only with a popped bellybutton. Do you have any guesses about the sex?


kimlyn: You're getting so close!  I hope you get lots of good naps and rest int he next few weeks, spoiled at the baby shower, and then to finally meet this kiddo!


AFM: Finally, just when I was starting to think that the so-called energy burst of the second trimester was a myth, I'm feeling great!  Got a bunch of work done, acted more like a human toward my DP, felt a general cloud lifting off my mood... all in the last week. I'm hoping this good-feeling pregnancy sticks around for a while!


ETA: I hate the new MDC format!  When I posted this, I didn't see any posts after Kimlyn's, and totally missed Burg's update and the QOTD! I'll make a new post to catch up below....

Edited by Beastie - 11/19/10 at 4:19pm
post #365 of 442
Thread Starter 
DP and i have been together 9+ years, we are both 30 yo. it took 13 months to concieve. this will be our first child. we would like to have 3 altogether, we also are entertaining the thought of fostering older children/teenagers later in life. i don't believe i have a pic to post from my work computer... search rose wehrli-mead on FB if you want to "be friends". smile.gif
post #366 of 442

qotd: dp and i have been together for 7+ years and have 2 sons - ds1 is 3 and in preschool and ds2 is almost 10 months.  they have the same donor.  we met in 2003 and had our committment ceremony in 2006.  i am 41 and dp is 34.  we started ttc in 2006 - met with the clinic we decided to use in june and had our first try in august 2006.  that was a bfn and then i had a break for 2 months to get rid of a cyst and to get my prolactin back to normal.  our second try in november 2006 (4 years ago this week!) resulted in a bfp and ds1.  I took 5mg letrozole. 


we started getting ready to ttc again with dp in june 2008.  we had our first try in december 2008.  that was a bfn and we then switched to a specialist due to dp's pcos/hypothyroidism/polyp/blood clotting issues.  we had to sit out 2 months and then had one more bfn before our bfp in april/may 2009.  ds2 was born january this year.  dp used letrozole for her first 2 tries and 100mg clomid for the successful cycle.  she was also on synthroid and metformin. 


we plan to have one more child with dp carrying again.  we have started charting with dp again (her ppaf just arrived a couple of months ago) and will see our re in february with a view to having our first try in may or june of 2011.


if you'd like to "friend" me on facebook, send me a forum message.  :)



post #367 of 442

Loving reading everyones responses smile.gif


  DW, Amber, and I have been together for 6 years and just celebrated our 1 year wedding anniversay. We are both 30. We started TTC in April 2010 and got our BFP on our 2nd try in May. We conceived at home (ICI) with a KD. Reed Kylie (due 2/4) will be our first baby but we have fostered 2 other children together- a 5 year old boy and a 13 year old girl. Gumshoegirl, I hear you on the challenges of parenting teens! Did you run into attachment issues given the ages of your children when you adopted them? That was the hardest part of fostering for us. DW & I would like to have 1 more child after this and will probably start trying after Reed turns 1. DW has no desire to carry but will if I run into issues the 2nd time around.


Indigo & anyone else interested in "friending" on FB- you can find me by burgandy210@gmail.com just but your name on here with the request so that I know who you are.

post #368 of 442

 Just checking in...I'm finally getting that tired thing that people have been telling me would happen so I'm mostly lurking around here. Its amazing how these changes happen--someone mentioned feeling fine suddenly and then feeling immediately worried that feeling good equals not feeling pregnant--I felt that way too, in the first and second trimester--the same feelings come back when the baby decides to spend a whole day sleeping (last weekend) and refuses to move.


Someone also mentioned that burst of energy in the second tri--another great thing that not everyone tells you about--it sticks around and its great fun! Enjoy it and pretend its just going to be like this from now on--I didn't get tired again til 35 weeks!


We will be 37 weeks tomorrow which is such a relief! I'm pretty sure the baby has dropped, otherwise she has just really curled up tight and low because her bottom has been about a hand and a half above my belly button and is now three or four fingers above--she is growing a lot and using up my fat stores as I am losing weight (despite having whipping cream on my cereal and eating 8 times a day).  My coworkers are taking bets and the first suggested date is Nov 30 (our EDD is Dec 11 and our 42 week day is Christmas, so its hard to imagine a baby in 10 days...)


QOTD--We've been together for 2.5 years, which doesn't seem like a lot, but when you've had it wrong and you get it right, it all makes sense!  We decided to start trying about a year ago now, tried twice at home (one sperm mishap and one timing mishap). We decided to go to the RE after that, had our first appt in Jan or Feb and got pregnant on the first try in March--we hadn't even completed all the hoops that the clinic wanted us to jump through (for example, couples counseling session happened after we were pregnant--I think the RE thought it might take a few tries to get it right but it most certainly did not!)  again it all just seemed to work out just right for us in terms of things just falling into place

post #369 of 442

Hi all,


So, I posted this morning, but the fancy new forum meant that I totally missed the QOTD.  I'm really loving hearing everyone's stories, though!


To join in, DP and I have been together almost eight years, married almost three. I'm 30, he's 46. We met running "rival" activist groups. We got straight married in CA, since DP is trans and legally male. 2.5 years ago, I finished grad school and got an academic job in the midwest, and we moved out here. We had assumed it would take more than one year for me to get a job, and planned on TTC in the in-between year.  But then I got the job, which delayed our baby-making plans. We decided to start trying for real last summer, using an anonymous bank donor (DP's choice), and got pregnant on the very first try (ICI at home).  As many of you might remember, that fetus ended up having a fatal neural tube defect that we caught on a fluke early ultrasound at 10 weeks. We confirmed the diagnosis at 12 weeks, and terminated the pregnancy at 13 weeks. It was one of the hardest things we've ever walked through together, and we've both had a lot of recovering to do. We waited until June to try again, with the same donor, and once again got pregnant on the first try (!).  This will be our first kid, and it's finally starting to feel real!


Looking forward to learning more about you all,


post #370 of 442

Oh gosh - how long did we TTC...wow.  Well, dp and I have now been together for going on 13 years.  We met as weee little 23 year old babydykes at a bar in San Francisco.  Once we decided we wanted kids (which took a good two years of discussion and therapy!) we knew each of us would carry one (though I always wanted three).  Since I was finishing up my phd and on the job market (not a good place to be while preggo) we decided she should go first.  Plus, she had Kaiser insurance (let's hear it for $12 inseminations! Even if it did feel like a factory.).  It took 9 months of active trying and 1 early miscarriage before she conceived Bam Bam.  After that I was up to bat.  But by that time we had moved to Colorado (aka, stepped back in time about 20 years).  It took months of looking around before we actually found a practice with which we were comfortable.  I tried a total of 12 different cycles (some fresh ICIs, some frozen IUIs, some medicated, most not).  I had one super super early miscarriage and watched my fertility numbers go kaput.  Luckily the Colorado Center for Reproductive Medicine (which has some of the highest IVF success rates in the country!) is about 45 minutes away.  And they managed to get me knocked up.  With twins :).  I'm super excited.  Beyond sick.  Beyond tired.  And still praying and hoping they stick.  From all the studies I can find, looks like at this point (after seeing two heartbeats and watching them speed up over subsequent ultrasounds) I still have about a 7% chance of miscarrying in the first trimester. So I'm *trying* to take it easy.  Not natural for me.  


Beastie, yup I give lots a talks.  I wrote two books that people seem to like, so I travel around to colleges, think tanks, community organizations yapping about what I found.  I'm hoping this hematoma clears up, so I'm slowly canceling talks one by one, in case my midwife clears me to travel again.


abeecharmer, you are a stronger woman than I!  I cannot a) imagine doing this again b) even begin to think of another baby beyond these two!  Wow!  


post #371 of 442

Coco99:  I'm so sorry you guys had to experience the whole bleeding, freakout hematoma thing.  But glad to hear that things are good now!  My docs have forbiddden me to travel, which is an issue, since a bunch of my income comes from traveling the country and giving talks.  Sigh.  Right now my IVF doc and my midwife are in a battle over how often I should get ultrasounds to monitor the hematoma.  What did your doc recommend?  I'm being torn between the supermedicalized approach and the pregnancy is a normal part of life approach.

 Hey CJ,


We were not monitored too closely I dont think... she was dx'ed at 11w4d, we had a followup appt around 14 weeks where they couldnty see the hematoma anymore (not as much as it was at 11 weeks) but could see some free fluid and had DP remain on bedrest. We went back at 16 weeks and the bedrest order was lifted because the US was clear. Since that, DP had the 19 w morpho US and then a short US at the dr's visit two weeks later and now we have a big US every month to follow their growth and a small US everytime she sees the doc, which is also every month. Its normal with twins to be followed mocy closer. I like it, it helps keep my mind at peace :) (esp. following everything that did happen !)


Our stories are very similar : I also work, travelling to give talks and trainings :)




post #372 of 442

Hi! I'm nervously dipping a toe in here (and putting a timeline in my signature). We told my parents yesterday - we're home for an annual visit, and wanted to tell them in person, even though it's VERY early. And I had a bout of major nausea this morning. So far, so good. The QOTD seems like a nice way to hop in.


DP and I have been together over 10 years. We started TTC this past March, and ran into problems with my irregular cycles. We did an ICI in March, a horribly timed at-home IUI in April (I ovulated two weeks later crap.gif), a well-timed IUI in June that wasn't successful, and a third at-home IUI early in November that worked! The secret this time: Late last month, I found a new doctor - a naturopathic doctor and midwife, with whom we hope to have a home birth - and she put me on vitex. It worked almost instantly :)


If all keeps going well, this will be our first. We definitely want a second pretty quickly after #1, and I'd like a third if it seems right after two. The third is still up for debate with DP.


We're both cautiously optimistic about this pregnancy (by cautious, I mean super anxious... we're taking lots of deep breaths and keeing our fingers crossed!). We found out earlier this week, and DP loved the veggie parade in the conceptions thread - she's quite good at doing the carrot dance.


For now, we're just taking this one day at a time. We plan to tell DP's parents in person at Christmas, and go in for the first appointment in early January, when we can hear the heartbeat.


Nice to see some familiar names, and meet new folks!

post #373 of 442

Hey all!


Sorry it's been so long since I posted... things have been crazy and intense over here. Sonja is 42.5 weeks pregnant today, and there have been prelabour cx for about three days now. Baby doesn't want to come out just yet! :)


We have also been dealing with extreme static from "medical professionals" about our birth plan. We tried to get another midwife since we had to fire our overzealous medwives, but we were informed that "midwives stick together and [we] aren't going to find another midwife to work with in this city!" huh.gif Then our medwives ratted us out to the "birth police", so it turns out we're being forced to have a hospital birth even though our pregnancy is completely low-risk. I guess "my body, my choice" isn't true after all. irked.gif Effing SICK.


At least we seem to have obtained the most natural birth-friendly OB-GYN in the city, so we can still have a couple of the things we wanted, hopefully, if there isn't some kind of "emergency". *sigh* Sonja is going to have the itchiest babymoon ever. Yay MCS mixed with hospital chemicals and nurses wearing perfume.


Yeah. I'm angry.



Originally Posted by burg View PostQOTD- (Please feel free to share whatever you are comfortable with) How long did you TTC? What methods did you use and which was the successful one? Meds? How long have you been with your DP/DW? How old are you? How many children do you have? How many more children would you like? Also, post a picture if you're comfortable. With all the new/returning faces, I would love to get a sense of who everyone is smile.gif

We got pregnant on the second try with fresh sperm from a KD. We did IVI with an oral medicine syringe five days before O. We never thought it would take since it seemed so early, but he had midterms or something, so we told him "see you next month!" yet here we are. We didn't use any meds, but DP did take GLA and infusions of red raspberry leaf, nettle and alfalfa prepared the Susun Weed way.


Sonj and I have been together for nearly two years, and we have an eight year old. We would love to have at least on or two more kids yet though. :)




(I'm the one on the right. The thing on my daughter's head is a dorsal fin from her play. lol)

post #374 of 442
Originally Posted by burg View Post


QOTD- (Please feel free to share whatever you are comfortable with) How long did you TTC? What methods did you use and which was the successful one? Meds? How long have you been with your DP/DW? How old are you? How many children do you have? How many more children would you like? Also, post a picture if you're comfortable. With all the new/returning faces, I would love to get a sense of who everyone is smile.gif

Hello all :)  I have been kind of laying low as we have has two M/C this year.  Well we had a visit with the midwife over the weekend and she heard the heartbeat (baby was really low and she had a late pregnancy doppler)  and we were able to hear some kicks :)  DP and I had been trying with a KD for approximately 1 year.  (fresh ICI with a kids medicine syringe)  We were lucky enough not to need medications.  DP and I have been together for 9 years and had a civil union in 2003.  We have one little boy Holden who is 3 1/2  and he keeps us running!  We would like at least three children (biologically) and we have talked about adoption when our children get older.  This is a picture of us at a wedding in May this year...  I am on the left biggrinbounce.gif
tif and rob wedding.jpg

post #375 of 442

Hi, everyone!  I'm thrilled to join you here after lurking for a year or so.  After ten months of IUIs, I had a beta of 48 today and have an estimated due date of August 3rd.  I'm so happy to join Wehrli, MizYellow, Burg, Library, and Amy from QC and look forward to getting to know the rest of you better, too.  And HI to Cejae, too!


As for the recent QOTD, DP and I met in college 14 yrs ago (I'm 35, she's 37). We have an 8-yr-old DD to whom I gave birth.  She and this babe will have different donors--hers is a KD, and this new one is a WTBN donor through Pacific Repro Services in SF.  We tried a different KD with this one, but it just wasn't working out. I'm kinda sad about that but also really like the video (!) of this new donor and am, of course, most grateful and happy to be pregnant.  With DD, I got (and stayed) preggers on the second try, so ten months of IUIs was really more than I'd bargained for this time around.  We started with IUIs done by a midwife.  After six unsuccessful attempts, my insurance kicked in (thank goodness--really wish everyone else had this coverage, too), so I switched to an RE.  I was on the lowest dose of Clomid but reacted really well.  I had five mature follies this cycle and am hoping and praying that it is only one in there.  My DP has chronic fatigue syndrome and took a long time to be ok with having a second...never mind more than that. Ugh. A few more weeks and we'll know, I guess. We're both professors in a midwestern university. I love my job, though it is really exhausting much of the time.


Enough about me!


Painefaria: So glad your babe is sticking this time! Keep it up, little one!


ErtheMama: I'd be really mad, too.  Did the midwives actually call the police or the local hospital?!  How did that happen, exactly?  I'm very sorry you won't be able to have the birth you planned and wanted. That's a huge disappointment and deeply unfair.  I hope that somehow, you and DP can move through this and still find a way to be peaceful and present during the birth.



Edited by AmandaHope - 11/22/10 at 8:01pm
post #376 of 442

Congrats again, Amandahope! Very happy to have you joining us over here, especially after you cheered so many of us on.  Very happy for you and DP!joy.gif

Edited by burg - 11/22/10 at 7:49pm
post #377 of 442
Originally Posted by burg View Post

Congrats again, Amandahope! Very happy to have you joining us over here, especially after you cheered so many of us on.  Very happy for you and DP!joy.gif

Thanks again, Burg.  Btw, your veggie parade on QC was exceptionally sweet! Thanks!

post #378 of 442
Thread Starter 
AHope, Glad to have you over in Q&P! i will add you to the roster... send my congrats to your DP and DD, as well! our babes won't even be that far apart... i'm very excited about that! we'll have to do a(nother) meet-up next fall/winter so our lil ones can meet! orngbiggrin.gif
post #379 of 442

 Yay, Amandahope, it's great to have you here!! 


Coco, thanks for sharing your experience, that helps a lot. 


AFM, the IVF docs are slowly weaning me off my progesterone and estrogen supplements.  Thank goodness.  I go in for bloodtests every couple of days to make sure that the hormone levels are still rising.  I feel like telling the docs, "Look, every day I get more sick.  There's no way these hormone levels aren't rising!"  For some reason they won't just take my word for it ;). 


I have to be back on the classroom teaching on Monday (I've been off for the last four weeks) and there's no way I can hide this stomach of mine.  A short torso + a small build + twins = showing way too soon.  So I'm debating whether or not to tell my students (I teach at a very small liberal arts college, so word will travel fast) or not.  The upside of telling - I can run out of the classroom to go throw up (a highly likely scenario), I can put my head down on the desk and say, I'm done, you all discuss for a while etc.  The downside of telling - I'll only be 9 weeks! 

post #380 of 442

The m/s has hit, so please forgive my late and poorly worded response.  We conceived on our fourth try; the first three tries were with frozen, and the last (successful) try was with fresh.  We used the same donor as my son for all our attempts, but since we conceived with Rainbow Flag HS we knew the donor and were able to ask him for fresh.  The frozen samples had horrendous post-thaw numbers, and I don't think we would have been able to conceive using them.  I was on Clomid for 3 cycles and Femara for 2-- the first cycle we weren't able to insem due to an error at the bank.  Although I weaned my son in order to go on Clomid for that cycle.  Augh!!!!  But that's another story.  DP and I have been together for just over 8 years, married for just over 3.  I'm 34, he's (trans and) 30.  We have one son, born prematurely at 34w 5d, but now thriving at 21 months.  We'd like two kids, so hopefully this is the last time I go through m/s.


Congratulations to all the newly pregnant.  It's great to see you here!



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