33mo still a crappy sleeper!

[XyMama]

My 33mo DS has been a high-needs sleeper since day one, but I'm starting to think maybe I need to be a little more proactive than just the "he'll grow out of it" attitude I've taken.

For naps, he doesn't go longer than 15 minutes without me next to him. Usually (99% of the time) I lay down and nap with him. He usually nurses throughout most of the nap. This has always been the case.

At night, he takes 30-45 minutes to fall asleep, plus another 20 minutes for me to get out of the room. Then he goes anywhere from 1-2 hours before his first waking (max EVER was just over three hours) and seems to be up every 1-2 hours the rest of the night. Even when he is asleep, he is latched on a lot and stirs easily. This is actually an improvement over time...I remember not being able to even get up out of bed without waking him when he was just a few months old.

We've experimented with ditching his nap, but after a couple of days his patience just vanishes and my normally sweet-tempered boy is cranky and crying and impossible to please. This makes me think either he is not ready, or I didn't keep up with it long enough to let his body adjust.

Does this still seem within the realm of normal for a 2.75yo bf'd, co-sleeping boy? Or should I be looking harder into a medical issue or food allergy or dropping his nap or something else? (We already eliminated dairy from our diets when he was an infant as it caused him eczema. Nothing else seemed to make any difference diet-wise, but sleep improvement wasn't really on my radar at the time.) Add to this that I am newly pregnant and won't be able to devote so much time and effort to his sleep come late March and I am getting nervous that if his sleep doesn't improve by then, we will all suffer for it. I really thought our sleep problems would have worked themselves out by now.

Anyone BTDT?

p.s. We do routines for both nap and bedtime, complete with blackout curtains, white noise and optimal temp in the room.

[karika]

I may be able to write more soon, but for now I just want to say - you are a saint! You have really been there for your boy. I htink some changes are in order, some limits perhaps..;. if nothing else to prepare fo rht enew baby i will wirt e more later...

[MujerMamaMismo]

I reached my breaking point with my very similar 21month (actually, his sleep was even worse than your DS) old about a month ago. We'd been through all the food allergy rigmarole, spent hundreds on homeopaths and naturopaths and though we'd get the occasional success, nothing lasted more than a night or two.

A month ago, my mum went away - it was perfect timing because we were really ready to nightwean. We'd done the Jay Gordon nightweaning method fairly successfully a few months prior but it only lasted a couple of weeks and didn't eliminate many of the nightwakings. I'm a sucker and even when I slept in the guest room I would cave to the crying or he would come banging the door down. So I seized the opportunity to get some sleep in Mum's quiet, empty house and DP took over the night time parenting with DS for a couple of nights of cold turkey nightweaning. We talked with him at length for weeks leading up to it and the results have been amazing. Even when I slept at Mum's, I only went there after he went to bed and came home by 6.30am so I could feed him first thing. The first night was a bit tricky for DP but by the second night, he was resettling quickly and easily though still waking frequently. 3 weeks later and I can hardly believe he's the same boy. We've had several nights of sleeping through and even when he does wake, it's only once or twice and he settles in moments with DP cuddling or reassuring him. I might also add that DS is currently cutting his 2y/o molars and has a cold and all these things would usually play havoc with his sleep but something massive seems to have shifted.

Is some form of nightweaning a possibility for you? Pregnancy may end up making it necessary to nightwean for your own comfort and sanity. If you do decide to give it a try, my advice is to talk to him a lot and for several weeks before you do it - particularly at night during your bedtime routine. We maintained the line that 'soon, there won't be any more milky when he wakes up at night and Mummy (my DP) will help you to go back to sleep by cuddling and singing and rubbing your back.' I know he understood, despite not being especially verbal yet. At 33 months, I'm sure your DS will have even better comprehension and can contribute better to a discussion.

Wow, this has gotten long. And all couched in the simple suggestion of nightweaning. If i were you, with a child as old as yours, I'd definitely give nightweaning a try before I started on the allergy elimination road.

Good luck.

[MujerMamaMismo]

I forgot to mention that we've changed nothing about his naprome routine and I still feed him down but he's not waking after 20 mins anymore and most days sleeps for well over an hour, on his own! It turns out that sleep really does beget, sleep!

[XyMama]

Thank you so much for the responses so far. I would like to avoid nightweaning if possible, but I will consider it if we have not made any progress in the coming months. I spoke to a homeopathic doctor who would like to run some tests that he thinks may help.

Anyone else have any advice or magic bullet? I know there are mamas that have/had high-needs sleepers at this age...please help!