I hate...

[sugarpop]

I know hate is a strong word, but seriously, I hate my breasts! I don't know what to do about this issue. I feel alone...I mean I know they give life/food, they are beautiful and all that other nice stuff people say but they use to be perky, I use to like them, and now I hate them. I am not a vane person and yet, I actually dream about getting them fixed some day when I am done having children.

I look in the mirror and I am disgusted! They sag, they have no form, they are yucky. DH wants to be intimate and I can hardly stand the site of my breasts, nevermind when he makes a move and touches them, talk about instant turn off. I want to yell at him and tell him not to touch me. I don't know what to do! How do I fix this? How do I change my feelings??

I have an 11 month old daughter who breastfeeds, eats very little food other than my milk and nurses MANY times a day and night...I would say 10 or more times in a 24 hour period.

I wonder how long I can be uninterested before DH becomes even more annoyed. How many times can I turn him down before he moves on? This is my issue...not his, he wouldn't really move on but this is what I say to myself. I DTD for him, but not me, once a week is all I can muster and even then I sometimes miss a week. I am really at a loss...I don't know what anyone can do to help me or what I need to hear, but I really need to vent. I want my pre pregnancy breasts back, how bad is it that I would consider surgery? It is SO against everything I have always thought...I just hate my breasts!!!

[Knitting Mama]

I think you need to talk to your husband about your breasts being a no-go zone. I did this with my husband. It doesn't mean you have to forgo intimacy altogether!

NAK

[Nicole730]

Yeah, DH knows lactating breast are off limits here. I don't have a problem with how they look or anything, just don't want baby-feeding getting mixed up with husband-pleasing I'm thinking you will go back to liking them more once they aren't nursing so much.

[lifeguard]

I'd definitely have a conversation with dh about it. Let him know how you are feeling. Lay some ground rules about no touching, heck insist on wearing a pretty bra at all times during dtd.

Give yourself more time to accept your new body & then maybe one day you will decide that it is important enough for surgery. Not everyone's first choice but also not exactly an unknown thing. I very large breasts & don't exactly love them but I have made the decision that once I am done nursing all the children we will have that I will have a reduction & it is a nice thought for me that they will (for the first time) be perky.

[cileag]

Have you been to Shape of a Mother?
http://theshapeofamother.com/
I think it really really helps to see what normal non Hollywood post baby bodies look like.

[ann_of_loxley]

I hate my tummy! lmao

Its ugly and disgusting. It sags all lopsidey. It is now full of stretchmarks. I am not a big girl and had a baby over 12lbs!...Guess that is what I get for it! lol

I know it will never be the same. I wonder often if I will ever be at peace with my belly. I think of things like surgery but also know we will never have that kind of money so I know I will just have to live with it.

My boobs - I am at peace with them. They are bigger, fuller... they do have stretchmarks. But I also know that simple pregnancy changed my boobs and not breastfeeding so I am cool with that. I think the ugliness of my tummy probably rules the rest of my body so I guess I dont' mind my boobs anymore! lmao

[sere234]

It's hard to get used to a portpartum body. I've only had mine for 1.5 weeks so I'm just beginning the trip.
Talk to your husband about how you feel! My DH has been so supportive of my funny tummy and breasts being off limits but that might be becuase I talk to him about it a lot. Heck, we even joke about it!

But it comes down to this: my body is this way because I grew our beautiful son! That was something I had to come to terms with durin pregnancy and more so now.

Hope you feel better about this soon, it must be stressful

[Knitting Mama]

Originally Posted by lifeguard

I'd definitely have a conversation with dh about it. Let him know how you are feeling. Lay some ground rules about no touching, heck insist on wearing a pretty bra at all times during dtd.

Give yourself more time to accept your new body & then maybe one day you will decide that it is important enough for surgery. Not everyone's first choice but also not exactly an unknown thing. I very large breasts & don't exactly love them but I have made the decision that once I am done nursing all the children we will have that I will have a reduction & it is a nice thought for me that they will (for the first time) be perky.

I'm glad you're waiting until after you're done with nursing. I had a reduction 10 years ago and there are still times that I am wracked with guilt over it, because I only make about 50% of what my baby needs and I have to scour the earth (or so it seems) to get enough donated milk for her. It's not an easy existence and I always recommend women who are considering the surgery wait until they're done with nursing.

[akind1]

Originally Posted by lifeguard

I'd definitely have a conversation with dh about it. Let him know how you are feeling. Lay some ground rules about no touching, heck insist on wearing a pretty bra at all times during dtd.

I almost always wear a pretty camisole or something for DTD, or if not pretty, then something. When they aren't really exposed it kind of sends the message: don't touch!

and definitely talk to your DH about it!

[jenmn]

Originally Posted by akind1

I almost always wear a pretty camisole or something for DTD, or if not pretty, then something. When they aren't really exposed it kind of sends the message: don't touch!

and definitely talk to your DH about it!

This!

[newmamalizzy]

Aw. Mine ended up super lopsided, and I'm definitely not thrilled about it either. I take some comfort in the fact that DDs dad is still clearly attracted to my body with all its sagging and stretch marks. Not always comforted enough to feel self-confident and sexy, but at least glad of this evidence that I'm loved unconditionally.

[2boyzmama]

Boobs are off limits here. Sometimes, if I'm really "in to it", then I don't mind a little fondling, but most of the time it's instant turn off. And frankly I get angry, I mean how many times do I have to tell him? Hands off buddy!

SO...if you're going to DTD, put on a lacey, sexy bra, or some sort of lingerie that helps you feel sexy, but also covers the girls. Then just tell hubby, "you may look, but don't touch"

And if you are considering surgery, which is not a bad thing!, then you might consider taking a bunch of pictures of your breasts at different stages...full of milk, empty and saggy, etc, so you can specifically show/tell the dr want you want.

My sister had 5 kids in 10 years, and really hated her boobs, so she did get them done when her youngest was 2. She also made her husband get a vasectomy. She's rather happy, she knows that her girls did a fantastic job sustaining 5 babies, and she wanted to reward herself.

[Kikelet]

I know how you feel, mama! My boobs are a no-go zone right now. My libido is pretty non-existent here, though, since DD is EBF'ing at 6 mos. I really loved my breasts pre-baby; I was a 34DD and they were super perky and cute. I don't think it was wrong of me to like the way my breasts looked, either. Now that I'm nursing, they are actually *smaller* than they were before. I am going crazy wondering why this is happening to me and it's actually making me kind of sad. I respect the functionality of my breasts for feeding my baby, but I am so pissed about how much they've changed that I don't want DP going near them. I talked to him about it and he understands completely, although he still tells me I have "epic boobs". I try to feel better, but I know for sure that they are at least a cup size smaller than before.

In the grand scheme of things, I can see how hating your not-so-perfect breasts could seem a tiny bit shallow to moms who don't care about how their body looks, but I think it's healthy to like your body, yet still normal to be sad that it looks different. No matter how many babies you have, there can be an adjustment period to loving/liking/being ok with your body again. I would never trade having my baby for those perky boobs, though! You are truly beautiful inside and out for being able to carry and nurture another human being with your own body.

[sugarpop]

Thanks...you ladies are great. Noone judged me and noone said anything negative for me thinking surgery might be the solution 10 years from now. I talked to DH last night...we will see if he "gets it"

[2boyzmama]

Originally Posted by sugarpop

Thanks...you ladies are great. Noone judged me and noone said anything negative for me thinking surgery might be the solution 10 years from now. I talked to DH last night...we will see if he "gets it"

Of course not! Yes, our bodies are doing amazing things, and sure, there's a bit of unrealism and vanity, but I don't think it's wrong to want to fix some of the damage done to our bodies. You want a tummy tuck to get rid of that hanging skin and stretch marks? Go for it! No amount of exercise is going to help with that. Do you want your boobs put back in place? Do it.

I don't think I'll do surgery, although hubby and I have talked about it on and off. But I definitely WILL spend a bunch of money getting really expensive bras when I'm done nursing. I've never spent more than $20 on a bra, but I'll spend $100 or more on the fancy Victoria Secret bras to reward myself when I'm done nursing! I think I deserve it

[Knitting Mama]

We didn't say anything negative or judgmental because we've been there, mama! If it's not the boobs it's something else; we all knew before we had kids that our bodies would change postpartum, but words can't prepare you for the actual experiemce, KWIM?

By the by, for anyone considering it, breast reduction surgery is awesome, even if I feel guilt over having done it before kids. I had an insane confidence boost after my surgery, as well as hugely reduced back and shoulder pain.

[JordanKX]

I feel like I should be part of a National Geographic Magazine right now. I know how horrible that sounds, I am an anthropologist, after all. But seriously. The hanging. The nipples.My nipples are the size of the palm of my hand. It's not pretty. At all. I'm 34, this will never go back.

DP sees boob and still goes.. "hehe, boobs". He loves them. He doesn't care. He just wants them. And I suppose i should be thankful for that. but my insides just think... Why would you want THESE? yech!

--- feel you ---

Hugs.

[sugarpop]

Rereading old posts…seeing where I am today, a year later…and I realize still right here in the same place. And again I want to say thank you for your comments! I needed the boost today, again.

I am still not happy with breasts, still don't like them, so ready to be done breast feeding and yet TTC #2 so I may as well get over it! I think I am going to find cute bras that make me feel good, these ugly droopy nursing bras just aren't cutting it! I hate them, in face I would like to burn them! They offer no support, I want my underwire back! 

So I am on a search for sexy nursing bras! DH did "get it" he knows how I feel, but he doesn't understand…b/c he doesn't see what I see…he sees beauty…not I, I see YUCK!!

Ah well, some things change some things don't, but thanks nevertheless for your support. Anyone feel better about their body with time??

[annaconda]

We, dh and I have agreed are very in favor of breast reduction surgery for me when I'm all done with the babies. I'm very large and hope to get back to "manageable and fun!"

[Ola_]

I hear you mama!  I've got the belly and the boob issues.  And worst of all we failed at BFing so I feel like I ruined my breasts for nothing.  Argh!

Check out HOTmilk bras, very cute.  And my favourite online bra store has a whole section for pretty nursing bras!

http://www.breakoutbras.com/category/Nursing-Bras

(select "Sexy-Pretty" in the Style drop-down)
 

Originally Posted by sugarpop 
I think I am going to find cute bras that make me feel good, these ugly droopy nursing bras just aren't cutting it! I hate them, in face I would like to burn them! They offer no support, I want my underwire back! 

So I am on a search for sexy nursing bras!