Why does my baby hate the car?

[MammaB21]

DS is 4 weeks old and although he's not screaming all day or 'colic' at night, he's definitely more fussy than I remember DD being at this age. He has a crabby time at night. He's in general more particular about things and will grunt and fuss if things aren't just right. But for the most part he's always consoleable. Our biggest issue right now is the car seat. He just SCREAMS in the car. He gets himself so worked up that he starts to turn red and then purple. His crying gets shrill and it puts me into a panic, but there's nothing I can do when we're on the road. It doesn't seem to be the car seat necessarily. He's okay in there if we're rocking it or swinging it (like as we're putting him in the car). He's also okay in the car if we're traveling at 50mph + on the free way. Otherwise, he's screaming. Then it seems as soon as we take him out of the car (still in his car seat) he calms down. I just don't get it. When DD was a baby ridding in the car was like an off switch. It always calmed her and put her to sleep. DS just seems to hate it and I can't figure out why. We can't really resign ourselves to be cooped up in the house but traveling is really starting to stress me out. Anybody BTDT or have any advise or ideas as to why he might be so upset in the car?

[MujerMamaMismo]

For my son, it was partly about reflux, partly about motion sickness, partly being out of Mama's arms.

It was so stressful. If we had to drive for an hour, he'd scream for an hour. We hardly ever went anywhere for his first six months.

Fortunately he was a huge baby and the second he hit the weight requirement, despite him still being very young (and with much worry and consideration), we turned him to forward facing and it pretty much fixed it instantly. Prior to that, one of those mirrors that let him see me helped occasionally. I hope you can find a solution, but prepare yourself for the possibility that nothing other than waiting it out will work.

[jessica_s]

Mine HATED HATED the car until about 4 months, then he was only inconvenienced by it and at least stopped screaming the entire time. The only big switch was he outgrew the bucket and so we put him into a rf convertible.
He was only happy in the car if we were going fast as well. I think some babies aren't big fans of the car! Mine has never gone to sleep easily in the car . I actually laugh at those commercials that have parents driving around to get the baby to sleep, that would have had the opposite effect for us.

[Knitting Mama]

Cecilia hated the carseat with a fiery passion for the first 3 months of her life. In her case, it was just about time. We tried everything-- mirrors, no music, loud music, windows up, windows down, convertible carseat, infant bucket seat, toys, no toys. The only thing that ever helped, and only helped sometimes, was me back there with her. Finally, she outgrew it (mostly; she still has a few unhappy days but they are less frequent than her content times). We can go places more now than we used to, but for those three months, I only went to nearby places by myself during the week, drives of less than 15 minutes only.

[P.J.]

Yeah, I think some babies just hate the car for whatever reasons. Mine included! It's starting to get better, he's now 3.5 months, but he still usually screams at least part of the time, or at least one way on all our trips. It is really hard to hear it, it hurts me too, I just hate seeing those tears on his face! My approach is just to hang in there and hope it gets better with age, as seems to be slowly slowly happening. Today we made a very short drive ~ 5 minutes (we could've walked but I was getting loads of groceries so wouldn't have worked for the walk home), and he was actually content the whole way there and back!!! Hang in there!

[Quinalla]

Some babies just don't like the carseat. Mine isn't as passionate about it as yours, but she doesn't like it. When she was little I think it was too boring, toys helps a lot now, but she still gets bored and now does not want to be confined. She has occasionally gotten too hot in her seat and that really makes her mad (understandably), so that would be something to watch out for as a lot of carseats are really warm and cozy which is nice in the winter, but not in the summer!

And motion sickness is something I consider too as I have that myself and can't ride backwards in a moving vehicle without feeling nauseated.

But yeah, we try to distract her as much as possible and if she is really tired, she will sleep eventually, but we just aren't going on long trips right now as it is too hard on her and us

[Blessed1]

Check the car seat to make sure it has enough padding! My baby girl (11weeks) would be okay when we put her in it to get ready to go, but as soon as we got her in the car and started to go...she would start to scream and cry hysterically.

Sadly I didn't figure out that the Graco Snugride seat didn't have any padding on the butt and side area. She was literally sitting on the hardware (bolts and bumps!!!). The piece of fabric that was covering the hard plastic seat was so thin!! She did have a piece of padding on her back area but that was it.
I just figured this out and we already ordered another type of seat (Britax Marathon) but until it arrives I've resorted to stuffing the "butt" area of the seat with some cushy blankets to take her to her dr. appt. I was prepared for another screaming fest but she didn't cry at all!! I felt like I was stuck at home...my poor baby. I get so sad just thinking about her having to sit in that stupid thing!
My Graco must be an older version. My friend has the newer version and it is padded all around. Just check it to be sure.

Also, my aunt said all but one of her babies hated riding in their car seat because they were prone to car sickness. They didn't even like being in their infant swing very long.

[MammaB21]

Thanks everyone. We went to pick up DP from work today (as we do every day) and the first half of the ride DS was pretty silent. The second half he cried but didn't SCREAM so maybe this wont be an every outing thing.

He definitely has enough padding in his seat. It looks pretty cozy in there to me. I'm very prone to car sickness myself, so that's certainly a possibility. I hope that's not it, though, or we will have along road ahead of us.

I had our 4 week midwife appointment today and she recommended some ideas to curb his crabbiness. Not really specified for this particular issue, but just the fussiness in general. I have a list of things to try, most dealing with his gut like cutting out dairy...etc. Here's to hoping one of the attempts work and I have a happier passenger soon.

[blessedwithboys]

Originally Posted by MujerMamaMismo

Fortunately he was a huge baby and the second he hit the weight requirement, despite him still being very young (and with much worry and consideration), we turned him to forward facing and it pretty much fixed it instantly.

PSA: mamas, please remember that in order to turn FF, your baby must be at least 12 months and at least however many pounds the seat RF to. some seats RF to 20#, some higher. you must hit BOTH milestones, so a 24# 9 mo old, for example, can NOT RF, no matter how much they scream and cry. also, safety increases even more if you delay RF to at least 24 mos. in other countries with lower death rates than the US, kids RF until age 4 or so. i;m not a carseat tech, just a safety dork.

Originally Posted by Blessed1

I've resorted to stuffing the "butt" area of the seat with some cushy blankets to take her to her dr. appt.

another PSA: this is dangerous and illegal. hop on over to the safety forum and ask why.

OP, both of my kids screamed until turned FF. for them, it was sensory processing difficulty. my ds1 loves roller coasters but gets carsick. my ds2 has gravitational insecurity. he cant go backwards. shopping carts were a big no-no for him, and at age 8 he still cant ride on the swings at the playground. SP issues are usually outgrown as the childs nervous system matures, but if it persists, it can be treated with occupational therapy. GL!

[MammaB21]

Originally Posted by blessedwithboys

PSA: mamas, please remember that in order to turn FF, your baby must be at least 12 months and at least however many pounds the seat RF to. some seats RF to 20#, some higher. you must hit BOTH milestones, so a 24# 9 mo old, for example, can NOT RF, no matter how much they scream and cry. also, safety increases even more if you delay RF to at least 24 mos. in other countries with lower death rates than the US, kids RF until age 4 or so. i;m not a carseat tech, just a safety dork.



another PSA: this is dangerous and illegal. hop on over to the safety forum and ask why.

OP, both of my kids screamed until turned FF. for them, it was sensory processing difficulty. my ds1 loves roller coasters but gets carsick. my ds2 has gravitational insecurity. he cant go backwards. shopping carts were a big no-no for him, and at age 8 he still cant ride on the swings at the playground. SP issues are usually outgrown as the childs nervous system matures, but if it persists, it can be treated with occupational therapy. GL!

Thanks for pointing this stuff out. I was actually just coming back here to comment on these things as well (when I wrote my update last night I didn't have time). I'll just second the 'please don't turn your kids FF until they meet BOTH requirements on the seat'. In fact, I strongly encourage not FF until the absolute LIMITS of the seat have been met in the RF position. The longer a baby/child can RF the safer. Which for us, means I hope this isn't going to be a lasting issue. DS is in a bucket seat right now, but will transition into a convertable seat and I refuse to turn him FF until the limits of that seat have been met in the RF position. I hate having to hear him screaming, but I'd hate even more to have a child with a serious injury or worse because they were in a FF position. We had another car ride this morning and he did really well, so I'm hoping this is some other issue.

Again, thanks for all the advice and input.