Balance between parenting and farm duties ??

[AKinAK]

My husband and I just became farmers in WI. We have a 2 year old and another one on the way. Right now he and I are both at home, which helps a bit with creating a balance between our parenting "duties" and farm chores, but I know that will become more difficult when the baby comes or if one of us needs to get a job off the farm.

Fellow farmers who are parents of young children...how do you do it? We'd appreciate any tips or resources that you know of that will help us as we learn how to be good farmers while being good parents.

[1jooj]

We didn't move out to our place until the kids were basically old enough to tag along. But I grew up on a farm (in NE WI) and my parents had 5 kids. My brother was a baby when we moved there, and my sister was born after we moved there.

All I can really say is I remember it was hard. Lots of bundling the baby and taking her to the barn. There was a playpen in the barn, and a buggy and a stroller. As a kid, I rode around on tractors probably more than I should have, and I recall many close calls of all kinds with machinery and livestock. Lots of late dinners...but no one really minded that.

What kind of farming? Dairy or other?

[AKinAK]

I grew up on the farm we are on now (in Door County) and totally remember lots of falls and other close calls like you do. Why do I want this life for my children again? lol We're goat farming and have a large garden with a little roadside stand right now.

Thanks for the idea about the playpen. I'll definitely need that idea when the baby comes. Now if I can just get the toddler to play by herself a bit more...or at least follow us around more.

[1jooj]

Goat dairy or meat? I milk just 2 goats but can definitely see why someone might want a barn filled with them. Asking because I guess your chores will shape how you deal with the day. If you're not out on tractors or handling machinery a lot, then that's one thing fewer to consider.

Ours was Calumet Cty...and now I'm in Winnebago Cty. I dream of a place up where you are...but my dh has a job close by, so this is where we are.

I also lived in North Africa, where a lot of women did ag work all day long along with their housework. They swaddled the small babies and wore them on their backs or laid them down beside them. Babes kinda got used to being around the work that way, and as they grew, they just sort of hung around mom while she worked.

Like I said, mine are older, so they get jobs. Mostly fetching pails and baskets, turning water on/off, collecting eggs, that kind of thing. As they grow, the work demands more thinking. They are at the stage of learning how to drive the sheep and goats from one enclosure to another.

There's a Women in Ag seminar put on by MOSES called Planting Fresh Seeds in Denmark next week. Link. I think I might go to the Madison one that's later in the month, just due to circumstances, but the calendar has some cool stuff and the "networking" part could hook you up with experienced mentors who can give you some good ideas.

[*farmergirl*]

i had a longer answer but lost it and had to attend to my own farm chores...anyways these are things I have found helpful:
moby wrap
bumbo seat or bouncer chair (placed on the ground of course)
those ride on toy cars with the handle on the back to push
a sled in the winter
a few toys on hand perhaps a small sand pile in eyesight of where you usually have to work, or a small tub of water
give simple tasks- throw the chickens some grain, help hold the hose etc older kids an do more
lots of patience
timing longer/more focused projects from when someone else is around to watch the little ones
as much child proofing as possible like not leaving the ladder up- how high can a 15 month old get in literally 10 seconds-5-6 feet
start as soon as possible and be super consistent with having lo stay within a certain area. also so handy to "train" them to say here i am when you call their name

[FarmerCathy]

Originally Posted by *farmergirl*

i had a longer answer but lost it and had to attend to my own farm chores...anyways these are things I have found helpful:
moby wrap
bumbo seat or bouncer chair (placed on the ground of course)
those ride on toy cars with the handle on the back to push
a sled in the winter
a few toys on hand perhaps a small sand pile in eyesight of where you usually have to work, or a small tub of water
give simple tasks- throw the chickens some grain, help hold the hose etc older kids an do more
lots of patience
timing longer/more focused projects from when someone else is around to watch the little ones
as much child proofing as possible like not leaving the ladder up- how high can a 15 month old get in literally 10 seconds-5-6 feet
start as soon as possible and be super consistent with having lo stay within a certain area. also so handy to "train" them to say here i am when you call their name

Those are some great suggestions.

[Tizzy]

We farm and have been doing a TON of work to the house, barn and farm since moving here. One thing that has been really great is the massive pile of sand. They have 14 tonka trucks (those things multiply like rabbits!) and other toys and they will play in that sand pile for hours and hours.
They also have free access to the hose and numerous buckets and containers.
In the winter, we duct tape their mittens on (and boots to a toddler who has just started to walk). We have a heavy duty wagon for them to play with and for hauling stuff up and down to the house, a couple little sleds for wintertime too.
They are absolutely NOT allowed on tractors or other running machinery, we are extra-careful to remove keys, put the loader down, put the mower deck down etc.

Favorite accessories would be a sling and MT for a baby, a high-quality backpack carrier for when they're a little older (if it's adjusted properly, it's very easy on your back), stroller for baby right now for gardening etc. She falls asleep in the stroller in the kitchen, then I can just wheel her right down to the barn, then back to the garden etc..
Also two-way radios which can be set on voice activation. I can leave one in the boys room, take the other to the barn and I know as soon as they wake up.
It takes a lot more juggling, BUT the kids do get so much out of helping us with everything

[Farmer'sWife]

Everyone has given some great suggestions so far. I have a 2.5 yo and a 3 mo. old. Timing is a big thing for me. I try to do morning animal chores before they wake up. I have a long range baby monitor that reaches to the far end of the farm that I take with me outside when they are sleeping in the house. It helps to only have one at a time, so I can get things done with just the 2.5 yo while the baby naps. My DH also takes the 2.5 yo with him a lot running erands, checking fields, and in the tractor (only if they have a cab) which frees me up a bit. Like the others said a playpen, stroller, a sand box, and babywearing are musts!

[Chicky2]

Another baby-wearin' farmin' mama here! Well, not now, but when the lo was younger....She was born here, and it's amazing how she learned to RUN on rocky, uneven ground when other babies her age were falling all over the place, lol. She just wanted to keep up!

LOVE the duct-taped mittens idea!

In warm weather a watering can is my best friend for a toddler/3-4 yo. I just have to be patient w/as often as it needs to be refilled, lol.

Little shovels and buckets.

dirt or rocks to draw/play in

a big pile of earthworms goes a long way

for small babies, def. a bouncy seat, and when older if you have a solid doorway, a johnny jump up is great.

swings

[goddessjulia]

depending on how far you're needing to range and for how long, once baby gets too heavy to wear, a swingset can be really helpful too-- I put my youngest in the baby seat on the swing and get him going while I dash around, giving him another push when I pass by. I'm covering a pretty small area doing various things like weeding or gathering eggs or dealing with compost, all of which are within view of the swingset. I still wear him when that doesn't work (he gets pretty mad when I have too much to do), or use the stroller. I got a double jogger so my dd (3 yrs) and the new guy can ride together.

good thread! can't imagine getting away with duct-taped mittens with my dc's but then I'm in the south so it's not really mandatory mine are the kids who put on their shoes to go out the door, then take them off once they are in the yard!

[Tizzy]

Another thing is an outdoor type swing in the barn I milked cows when I was younger for someone who would plunk their 1yr old in the swing in the milking parlour and come back an hour later. Normally I would have objected to babysitting while I was working, but it was great! Now I have a swing in the yard and once our livestock arrives, the baby will be often in the swing. Up off the ground so they're out of the way of errant livestock, easy to keep track of, it's a good position for them to sleep in if necessary etc.

Okay I know the duct tape sounds a little silly, but after losing so many mittens and children crying (and demanding to go to the house) from cold fingers, it just seems logical DH complained at first about it being wasteful, but for $2 worth of duct tape over the winter, it is SO worth it.

We also have a truck specifically for the farm, I have extra car seats in it for the kids and we use that for driving to the back of the farm, for firewood, hauling hay around etc. I feel it is safer than taking the kids on an ATV or open-cab tractor and it offers a bug-free spot for them to nap or shelter out of the wind/rain in the spring and fall.

For a crawler, we bring toys back with us in the truck and they can sit in the box to play, we've also lugged the playpen back with us so they could nap.
Now that the boys are a little older, it's much easier - they actually help with firewood, or I can send them on a mission to find specific things like a white flower, or a pink rock etc. they also LOVE picking apples and this past week they have picked about 2 bushels on their own! Very handy for our cider making

[kimmom]

WHAT A GREAT THREAD!!! with so many awesome ideas!
We have been on our farm since Sept and are in the process of building our cob home so it is BUSY! We have a 8, 6, 4, 3 and am pregnant with baby number 5.. I wake up before all the kids and do some of the animal chores now that it is dark later in the am the goats sleep in so my oldest 2 come to help milk with me.
The younger 2 LOVE to help with chicken chores, collecting eggs, letting them in and out of the coop etc.
When the new baby comes we will be in the house so that will give us more space. I am big on babywearing too. For the other kiddos a big pile of sand, clay, and cob keeps them happy for a LONG time! Cob forts, Cob fairy houses, Cob play animal barns etc
They also love to help in the garden, the younger two each have a dump truck that they use to "haul" weeds to the compost pile. ALso a wagon works wonders.. And bikes, our kids LOVE to ride around the farm!
So happy and grateful that we can raise our kids this way, so amazing and worth the hard work !
Biggest issue for us is the goats
.. they are a HANDFUL these days!! Thinking we will have to try an electric fence for a bit!

[JamieCatheryn]

Originally Posted by kimmom

.. they are a HANDFUL these days!! Thinking we will have to try an electric fence for a bit!

LOL I read this when I was sleepy last night and missed the part about the goats!! Thought that was a little extreme for the human kids and you must be joking!

[Tizzy]

Some days it is tempting to put the kids inside the electic net fence with the turkeys...

They learned before they could walk about the horses's fence, that it's electric, and if they want in the field, they can crawl under it
Not very effective!

[kimmom]

Haha no I was talking about the goats...

[VBMama]

Originally Posted by *farmergirl*

also so handy to "train" them to say here i am when you call their name

So true! I like to give my kids lots of freedom to roam in our front acre & barn, so I've taught my kiddos a call & response in a special cadence - "[Name], where are you?" "I'm right here!". You'd have to hear it to know what I mean, but it's not my normal speaking voice nor theirs, and it works really well because they know they need to answer when they hear it.

Nothing more to add because I only wish we could call ourselves farmers, we have small acreage with a big garden & 34 chickens right now, hoping to grow more soon. I've always been really frustrated during our kids' first year because it feels like such a monumental task just to get the fricking compost outside in bad weather, let alone any bigger farm-type chores. Good luck!