How late to do an u/s if you do NOT want to know gender?

[HeatherB]

I'm pretty sure I've asked about "best time" for an u/s if you don't want to know gender, but now that I'm 28.5 weeks along and we still haven't had one, I'm wondering what's the best thing to do. I really do NOT want to have an obvious gender shot (I had a dream I found out at an u/s and it convinced me that I really don't want to). Still, we'd like to see the baby and do a quick check for any obvious issues we'd want to pay attention to.

Thoughts? At some point, are they so squished up it's harder to tell? Or is everything so big and obvious that it's hard NOT to?

[babygrey]

We didn't find out w/ my DD, and I had quite a few later US (partial abruption). Honestly, I don't think it is so much dependent on GA, but on the position of the babe.

Here's what we did- we would make it VERY clear to the tech BEFORE the US that we did not want to know. We would then both close our eyes while the tech put the probe on, so as not to get an inadvertent shot. The tech would then tell us when it was okay to look. All the techs would also tell us if they were getting a shot where there was a risk we would see and we'd close our eyes then, too. If she was really wiggly, sometimes I just wouldn't watch.

Sure, we looked totally silly, but she was still a surprise on birth-day.

[HeatherB]

Good to know you were able to do that successfully! Thanks!

[dmpmercury]

I would tell the tech before hand that you don't want to know and that if you saw the area you be able to recognize what it was. That is what I did. When the tech was looking in the area and measuring the legs she turned the screen off. She didn't even see herself because she says she tries not to see if the parents don't want to know.

[SumnerRain]

I kept telling her I was worried I would see accidentally and she said she has to go out of her way to find the gender. I am not sure how often she meant that happens, or just my baby because its little legs were tightly closed. I know my nephew was supposed to be a surprise but he was too proud to NOT show off the goodies, so I liked the others' suggestions. I also would suggest not drinking juice or eating a big meal or other things that cause you to have a wiggly baby. Mine seemed to sleep through most of my scan.

[mclisa]

With all 5 of my kids, I told the tech up front that we didn't want to know the gender. We stressed the point of wanting to be surprised. They were all excited to have someone who wasn't pressuring them to give them an answer.

Then we also stopped looking at the screen once she was scanning from the abd shot to the femur shot so we wouldn't accidentally see something.

[ein328]

I agree with previous posters- we didn't find out with either pregnancy, and it wasn't a big deal at all. The tech just told us when to look away. In my experience the techs get really excited about someone wanting to be surprised (since it's rare these days) and are super careful about it.

The reason for doing the ultrasound closer to 20 weeks is that as the baby grows, it becomes harder to check for everything they look for structurally- as baby runs out of room, he/she starts to get "scrunched" more- just like you said.

If I were you, I would go ahead and schedule now...and just be upfront with the tech about your wishes, and double-check that it's actually written in your chart, too- "Doesn't want to know sex." That way if anyone else picks it up, they'll know.

[Comtessa]

We only had one ultrasound with DD and I think it was at about 38 weeks!!! DH insisted on it -- he "wanted to see that the baby was ok" before giving the go-ahead to our HB plans. . We just told our OB that we didn't want to know the gender. We already knew the baby was head-down at that point, so he started at the bottom and worked his way up -- and just never moved the sensor over any area where we might have been able to see anything. He was actually really delighted; he doesn't usually get the chance to do such a late u/s, with such a developed baby.

[gemasita]

We just had one at 18 weeks and the doctor told us the only way to ensure that we wouldn't find out the gender was to not look at the screen because sometimes the baby moves when he is looking at something different.

I didn't think that DH or I would be able to decipher what we saw so I looked most of the time and looked away on my own if the baby was moving a lot or if I thought he was near "that" area.

[Aleka333]

thanks for all the info - I'm in the same position, wondering when I should get my one U/S & not find out by accident.

[HeatherB]

Thanks for all the input! We've never wanted to know before, either, though I've always been okay with looking just in case I saw something, since I wouldn't "know" then, anyway. After having a dream where I was told what s/he was, though, I'm even more antsy to NOT know, I think. Our tech has been really good about not even getting into an area where she would get a good shot of gender, so I suppose I shouldn't be TOO concerned. I really do need to call her and see about getting an appointment.

Of course, I'm almost tempted to just wait it out and NOT have one at all, but (silly as it is) I also have u/s videos of ALL of my boys and really want one of this baby, too.

[myk]

anytime, really. many places won't tell you what it is regardless. if you say specifically that you do NOT want to know, they can tell you when they're going to look at the genitourinary system and you can just look away, just in case.

[etsdtm99]

i had a 3/4D u/s at 31 weeks with a breech baby and we had a HARD time confirming gender.. if your baby is breech it would be pretty easy to not tell .. and a good tech should be able to totally not show you..

[mkmoro311]

No Ultrasound with our 1st. I did not want to know the gender, if the baby had a club foot, if it had downs, etc.. I think too much info in that regard does more harm on a pregnancy than good! My midwife could stick her hand on my lower belly and feel the baby's head and also the back to tell it was positioned correctly

[bella99]

I had an u/s at 29 weeks with my daughter. We already knew it was a girl, so we didn't ask the tech to not show us or tell us anything.

But I will say that when she randomly passed over that part of her body, it was VERy obvious, as in, forget about seeing three lines, it was very clear we were looking at labia.

So I would make clear to the tech that you don't want to know, and have them keep the screen turned away from you and have them turn it towards you during "safe" shots.

[Baby~Braatens~Mama]

I agree with all the pp's awesome suggestions! We actually wanted to know, and it's a good thing, too! At the 20 week he was breech but PROUD, at the placenta check (36 weeks) he was not breech, but again just as proud with his legs open. The tec accidently found his proof within seconds and then asked, "you said he was a boy, right?" when she noticed that we recognised what was on the screen. If we had not wanted to know we would have been dissapointed...

[~Katie~]

My one and only ultrasound with DD was at 26 weeks, we requested not to know and didn't have access to look at the screen. If you remember, the tech ended up telling me HE was a boy anyway, but was obviously wrong. I would just say that you don't want to know and have her give warning ahead of time so you don't sneak a peak.