Queer Conceptions - September - Page 18

[painefaria]

Ahope - I am sorry. Please know we are here to support you. It seems that many of us were in the same boat around the same time. I will say that it is time that we have a bunch of BFP at the same time.

[LibraryLady]

Sad day today~ I just want to cry and give biggest hugs to you, Chiquita and AmandaH, and even you Scarlett. It's so hard to keep up hope when you're doing everything right and there's no reason for it not to be working but it's just not. I don't blame you for taking a break if you need one, but don't give up, sistahs xoxxooxox


Ruby~ Somehow I don't think cute, short haired girls with tats will be in short supply at a Pride parade, but it sure will be fun looking. Best 'Where's Waldo' ever!

Chiquita~ I do think you're right that Remmington might be an Oklahoma thing. We also have a Stetson, Kodiak, Young Gun and more than one Maverick. Yikes!

[escher]

Hi Everyone,

AmandaHope: I'm sorry. The cycle was feeling so promising for you, and I know you (and all of us) were really hoping it was the one for you.

Christie: I'm sorry that AF found you. It sounds like you are making a good choice to take good care of yourself and take some time off, but I know that must feel hard too. I hope the break is exactly what you need.

Max: Congratulations on moving forward with IVF! I hope that the consult is informative and reassuring.

Krista: Have you finished the insems or are you still in the middle of them? I hope they went well!

Alison: I think it is useful to temp through the luteal phase just so you can see what is up--do your temps stay level? Or keep going up? Or dip below the cover line? Or do some crazy dance? My luteal phase temps have helped me with making decisions about supplementing with progesterone.

Scarlett: I'm sorry you're in such a tough place right now. I know that feels awful. It's definitely hard to trust that we'll each have a happy ending when we don't know when those happy endings will happen.

AFM: 6dpo. I'm not in the obsessive phase of the TWW yet, but I'm sure I'll get there. In the meantime, I'm trying to enjoy the relative calm.

[2ezforyou]

AHope - So sorry about this cycle. Hang in there. It's such an emotional ride, and the disappointment some months are worse than others. I'll lend you my trick when AF shows - wine! Drink up!

Max - Very anxious to hear about your consult. DP and I are thinking of doing two more cycles, then moving on to IVF. I'll likely have to travel to another city as there's not a clinic nearby that will take same-sex couples.

Painefaria - Have a wonderful time. Asheville is such a beautiful city, although I've never been to Pride there. And keep a close eye on DP. Dark hair and tat's - whew!

Miss Scarlett - Ah, Key West - the life there! I know what you mean about DP getting frustrated. As if we don't have to deal with enough, but then having to worry about their emotional state is also trying. My DP sometimes forgets the emotional toll it takes on me and what I am going through. She watches me deal with the charting, meds, etc. etc. but then takes a look at the $$$ factor when AF shows, and boy does that make for a stressful few hours. I have a hard time dealing with the letdown from my loser body, but then how she feels is worse. It's not a fun cycle every month. But, we'll get our BFP soon, and then all of this will seem like a distant memory!

Ruby - Welcome to the board. It's a great group!

AFM - I've been so bummed lately, and rarely on the boards. AF is later than usual and I've somehow really messed up my back. Ugh! Plus, I had PMS from hell this month! Not sure what's up with my body, but last week I would cry at the drop of a hat and I ate almost everything in the house!!! I knew it was PMS when I cried because DS's football team fumbled and I felt sorry for the kid who did it....at practice! Whew! Anyway, AF showed in the middle of the night and is she pissed this month! I usually have 5 days of pure AF enjoyments. The first day she usually paces herself into a very heavy day 2 and day 3 flow, but not this month. Between the cramps, starting in the middle of the night and day 1 heavy flow - good grief! She's on a mission. The good news is that my doctor switched me over to femara this month, which I'll take cd5-9 = 5 mg. I really hope it produced follies for me and won't thin my lining as bad as the clomid.

Happy Thursday to everyone!

[AmandaHope]

Hi, again, everyone. Thank you so much for the kind, caring words and support. It makes a huge difference. Now I have a sudden question mark about this next cycle. I decided that I don't want to do more IUIs with my KD's frozen swimmers (and only have enough for one or two IUIs left, anyway--and want to save them for potential IVF), but he may be unavailable for fresh insems this month and next because of his ttc schedule with his wife. Ugh. Terrible timing. But I really don't want to take a break for the next two cycles, because they are my only hope (for the next 10 months) of having a summer birth (since I'm an academic with a lame parental leave policy, summer births are so important). I'm trying to decide whether to switch to a willing-to-be-known donor through a sperm bank (probably PRS, since we have a credit with them). It feels like a huge potential change and would involve some loss and grief, because I am very attached to my KD...but there may be no other way to try over the next few months, and also, maybe it would actually work! My DD has a KD (and cares for him), so I'm concerned that the second kid wouldn't have that same relationship and might feel slighted or hurt. On the other hand, as much as I love my KD, it just doesn't seem to be working, and I need to respect his need to build his own family.

Thoughts? You guys are awesome--I know you'll have some insight here. I can't believe I have to make this decision within the next two days!

[kgulbransen]

Okay, doing the unhappy dance here (which basically consists of me laying on the floor and wailing my legs and fists in protest). Arrrgh! Why do our bodies betray us when we need them the most?

Scarlett, AHope, Chiquita: hugs all around.

Chiquita: I think taking a break is a great idea if it works for your schedule and more importantly, your sanity and psyche.

Scarlett: how you doing as the days progress? I'm going to be in your situation soon. I'm in the TWW and we are going on a week's vacation end of next week. It's during that time that AF might show. I know it will be hard to come back to reality of coming off vacation and not being pregnant if so be it...

AHope: your questions are very difficult ones. The only advice I can give is to ask yourself the key question, if you could have a little baby in your arms how soon would you want it and how important is it that it have everything be perfect? I understand where you're coming from on some of the key issues and at the same time, we make do with what we have. We've had to make do with the fact that our biological makeup does not allow for us to have free sperm at our fingertips at all times. Our families are molded as they are created and are good even if they aren't perfectly as we envisioned. When time is working against you (if it is, I'm not sure how old you are) then maybe it's best to trudge along. Just my 2 dollars worth.

AFM: I met a new RE yesterday and feel refreshed. She actually looked at things my doctor (they are in the same practice) never even noted. She discussed the possibility of PCOS, not based on the fact that I'm slightly overweight but because of family history around insulin levels. She also strongly encouraged Femara plus an injectable as my next good opportunity to get pregnant. And she encouraged that before jumping to IVF because I'm using fresh sperm. And last but not least, someone finally heard me about my 11LP which was of concern to me. She prescribed Prometrium which I'm well versed on. Oh yes, and she actually heard me on the genetics counseling as well. My best friend's 5 month old daughter was diagnosed with Spinal Muscular Atrophy with a two year survival rate. I also have a friend whose twins got the same disease through a FROZEN DONOR so I've been freaking out. She is giving me the opportunity to talk to a genetics counselor and possibly get tested which makes me feel better.

So, question for the experts. When the heck do I start taking the Prometrium? I got a big fat prescription but no one stated when you start taking it....

[AmandaHope]

Originally Posted by kgulbransen

So, question for the experts. When the heck do I start taking the Prometrium? I got a big fat prescription but no one stated when you start taking it....

My doc has me start it 3 days after the trigger, which should mean the day after you ovulate. Don't take it until you are reasonably sure you have ovulated. Starting a day late won't matter much, but starting early could mess up ovulation. It worked for me this month. I had 10-11 day LP, and this time it was 12 1/2 days long. I hope it does the trick for you!

[megincl]

AHope -- first off, hugs at the rollercoaster ride you've been on. I'm so sorry about the latest BFN.

I had to jump in to write because we were in this same predicament with our donor -- do we wait a few months to be able to stick with him or do we go with sperm from a bank and then have one kid with a known and loved donor and one kid with a willing-to-be-known-maybe-not-findable donor. In the end, I felt really strongly (and I think that DW eventually hopped on board) that we stick with our donor. It meant waiting. But it also meant that our kids share the same donor and will share the same experience of knowing their donor (more to the point in your case, since it sounds like it would be two different KDs). In the end, I do think the wait was worth it for us. Though putting things off seemed like agony then, I think the long-term benefits outweighed those few months of torture.

That being said, I totally understand the academic schedule. And the desire to keep on moving. I'm wondering whether your KD could go make some more deposits at a bank right now before the time to TTC with his wife kicks in? I think I remember that his frozen counts aren't the greatest, but if he donated a few times in the next week or so, you'd have a good number of vials to try with. Just a thought.

Best of luck as you make this hard decision.

Originally Posted by AmandaHope

Hi, again, everyone. Thank you so much for the kind, caring words and support. It makes a huge difference. Now I have a sudden question mark about this next cycle. I decided that I don't want to do more IUIs with my KD's frozen swimmers (and only have enough for one or two IUIs left, anyway--and want to save them for potential IVF), but he may be unavailable for fresh insems this month and next because of his ttc schedule with his wife. Ugh. Terrible timing. But I really don't want to take a break for the next two cycles, because they are my only hope (for the next 10 months) of having a summer birth (since I'm an academic with a lame parental leave policy, summer births are so important). I'm trying to decide whether to switch to a willing-to-be-known donor through a sperm bank (probably PRS, since we have a credit with them). It feels like a huge potential change and would involve some loss and grief, because I am very attached to my KD...but there may be no other way to try over the next few months, and also, maybe it would actually work! My DD has a KD (and cares for him), so I'm concerned that the second kid wouldn't have that same relationship and might feel slighted or hurt. On the other hand, as much as I love my KD, it just doesn't seem to be working, and I need to respect his need to build his own family.

Thoughts? You guys are awesome--I know you'll have some insight here. I can't believe I have to make this decision within the next two days!

[escher]

Krista: My main RE says to start taking prometrium the day after ovulation. Another doc in the same practice says 3dpo. Where are you in your cycle right now?

AmandaHope: That's a big question. Isn't it crazy how when we are TTC we often have to make enormous decisions in a very short amount of time? You know how wonderful it can be to have a KD, but you also know that you want a baby, and that a willing-to-be-known donor might give you that. If you were to get pregnant with a willing-to-be-known donor, do you think you would be able to feel totally happy, or would you have regrets about having chosen that route? Do you feel like you could explain to your future child why you choose to use a willing-to-be-known donor when his or her sister has a KD? Good luck with this tough decision!

2ezforyou: I'm sorry you're having such a horrid AF! I hope that the femara works beautifully for you.

[AmandaHope]

Just a quick note to thank Escher, Megin, and Krista for your thoughts and to say that I'm feeling much better and more settled now. DP and I talked it through, and we think we're going to switch to a wtbk donor (not sure which one yet) for two cycles. I'll do clomid this time and injectibles the second time. If that doesn't work, I'll move to IVF with our KD. We're ready for a change, and this feels right.

Good night, all!

[solejean]

AmandH & Chiquita:

It's late so I just wanted to quickly post that I had my first appointment today and there's a baby! With a heartbeat! They measured the baby at 6 wks 5 days which is 2 days less than the 7 weeks I calculated, but they said that was within normal range.

[wehrli]

solejean... YAY!!! come join us in Q&P!!!

[wehrli]

Originally Posted by AmandaHope

Just a quick note to thank Escher, Megin, and Krista for your thoughts and to say that I'm feeling much better and more settled now. DP and I talked it through, and we think we're going to switch to a wtbk donor (not sure which one yet) for two cycles. I'll do clomid this time and injectibles the second time. If that doesn't work, I'll move to IVF with our KD. We're ready for a change, and this feels right.

Good night, all!

i hope this is just the change you need! i swiched donors (and methods) and got pg right away and there are a lot of ppl who, throughout my stay here at MDC, have gotten pg right away after making a donor switch. Good luck to you!! xo

[LibraryLady]

TGIF everyone!

AHope~ I'm glad you're feeling a bit more settled.This is a roller coaster for sure, but we're on it for good or ill. I like your plan, though. We used a wtbk donor and I think it's certainly a good option.

Solejean~ Yay for heartbeats and babies!!!!! 6 weeks five days is good!

Escher~ Symptoms yet? It'll be time to look for implantation soon.

Meg~ Sounds like you have a solid plan too. I guess it's just that a kd was never really an option for us, but I can see how you'd be attached to this idea for sure.

2ez~ Ugh. At a time when your af is a disappointment, a really heavy, horrible one just seems like an insult.

No news here. I've been having girl baby dreams lately (one where I was looking at the baby on an ultrasound and the nurse was showing me the girl parts, then last night one where my mom was buying Barbie charms for a charm bracelet. Note to self: remind mom not to buy Barbie charms for baby if girl...) but I still bet it'll be a boy.
Also, I'm having a unique experience. At my school, the PE teacher is the only male faculty member (indeed the only man in the building with the exception of our husband-and-wife custodial team) and he was looking stuff up on the computer in the library and I noticed he was looking at the website of the RE we used. I mentioned that was my doctor, and he started telling me about how he and his wife (who is also named Amanda) have been going to him to help with their fertility issues. We talked a bit, and then he's been coming and talking to me occasionally about stuff as it goes on. He just came and told me they went yesterday and are starting another 2ww. It's been VERY INTERESTING to me to experience this from a husband's perspective. I usually have a cynical attitude about men, but he's a good guy and it's been an education to me to see him get hopeful and concerned and excited, and then give him hugs at the disappointment. So can we send a bit of our babydust to Coach V and his wife? I think they'd appreciate it.

[chiquitayy]

Thanks to everyone for the support and hugs. You all are a fabulous group, one of the best I've ever been a part of, and I'm so glad we're all here together. Like I said, I'm not going anywhere any time soon!

Library: Definite thoughts for Coach V. I'm glad you get to see another perspective. Those are some pretty awesome names to go with Remmington, ha!

solejean: So glad that things look good, congrats!

AHope: I hope that everything works out like it should. I think you've got a good plan. Sorry our shared cycle didn't work out for either of us--wouldn't that have been fantastic?

Krista: I'm glad that the new RE seems to be on the same page with you, that should help.

2ez: I'm sorry that things aren't going well right now--sounds like a lot of us are having a really hard time together!

escher: Chart looks great!

wehrli: I think it does help that I know I can jump back in if I want--there's nothing to stop me.

AFM: I'm looking forward to meeting painefaria and her family this afternoon! Hooray! Teaching a tie-dye class to a group of Girl Scout leaders in the morning, then headed to a concert tomorrow night for a bunch of bands I don't know at the behest of a friend. Hopefully lots of fun all around! Hope everyone has a fabulous weekend.

[rubygirl36]

sorry for not posting replies. it takes a bit to get established on these boards, and, truthfully, all the stories are a bit overwhelming.

i got a positive opk last night! did the lesbian dance last night and will again today. my longest cycle lately has been 28 days, so hopefully i'll know something by then. this 2ww will be easy-peasy since all my focus is on my partner who's having horrible back issues. it's all about her right now, and i'l welcome the distraction from analyzing every hint of a pregnancy symptom.

so do we move to a new october conceptions thread or stay here?

[kgulbransen]

Hi everyone. More quick questions as I'm trying desperately (already) to figure out next cycle. Our KD has other "recipients" so the timing on his calendar (and mine) is critical.

So... Prometrium. I am on CD1 or possibly CD0 (not quite sure if I O'ed yesterday or will today). Anyway, I know when I will take it so thanks to everyone for that advice.

But...I understand you take it until you take a blood test around 15DPO and then stop taking it if your beta is neg. But...question to y'all: about how many days after you stopped taking it to your period start?

thanks much! Sorry I'm being a bit selfish and don't have time for personals. I'll check back later.

Krista

PS I'm jealous of everyone that gets to meet at Pride and whatnot! I'd love to meet some women on this board. If you're in the Bay Area, CA give me a shout out and let's get together. Our pride is over but we can still meet up!

[maxK]

Come over to October!

Everyone, I just made the new October thread. If there is a change you need me to make to your status. Let me know.