Support thread for Ellyn Satter followers

[Katielady]

Hi all,

I started the Ellyn Satter plan at home with my kids and so far it's going great. (If you're wondering what this is, you can start here: http://www.ellynsatter.com/

Must be brief as I'm on my way out and the kids are bonkers but I thought it might be good to have a place to discuss this family eating plan. My main issues come up with my preschooler so I thought this forum made sense as a location.

Anyway, the main sticking point right now is when we're around friends, like for playdates. Most of my friends feed their kids small amounts whenever they ask for them, which I used to do to, but I now see how it was sabotaging our mealtimes. But what do I do when my kids have had their 3:00 snack, and we're hanging out with another mom and kids for the afternoon and her kids are constantly eating? It comes up a lot and it really screws us up. So far I've let my kids snack because anything else seems rude to the other family and/or unfair to my kids. Anyone come up with a solution?

Thanks!

Katie

[EdnaMarie]

Oh, hi! We do that, but not intentionally. That's just how I was raised. And yes, it is IRRITATING to have snacks everywhere. What I do is this:

-If we will be there around snacktime, I will bring snacks to the park, give them all at once, and then say, "I'm sorry, you had your snack, it's all gone." Period. They may not beg, because it's rude. I tell the other parents, "They just had a snack and I don't want them to learn to be beggars. Sorry about that, we do appreciate it, they've just gotten into a begging habit." And this is really the issue, too.

-If we are going to meet others long after a snack (but before dinner, which frankly rarely happens because we eat early), I let them know, "No begging, please." If the other parent offers, it is usually to me, so I can say, "We had our snacks and I don't want them spoiling their appetites."

-There are also days when I just basically let them have the snack of whatever's at the park with the other parents, and days when I bring enough for everyone. I like sharing and I don't think it's the worst thing in the world if they have a couple of nasty snacks twice a week (and yes, it's nearly always something really gross because we live in a super un-crunchy, unrepentantly soggy area LOL). It's a social food event and that's not bad provided the kids spend most of their time playing. Once they've had their share, "no begging!"

It is hard. But I find the "we don't beg others' food" comes across as less judgmental of the parent who is letting a child graze (which, after all, works for some families) than, "you already ate" because then the child can say, "Well he's still eating!" and that just opens up a whole other can of worms. And again, if the parent offers, I emphasize that this is a bad habit for them, to think whenever anyone eats, they can eat if they ask, again the begging thing.

If someone kept insisting, I am not sure what I'd do. Most of the parents we hang out with are good with limits which is nice!