Comments about LO not going to preschool ...

[ilovemygirl]

Everyone wants to know why my three year old isn't going to preschool. I mean everybody from family & friends to random people at the supermarket and the mailman. I'm not initiating these conversations, they go something like this... Someone will start talking to dd and ask her if she's excited about starting school. She'll look up at them confused and I'll let them know she isn't going and they respond with everything from shock to disgust. How will she learn anything, who will she play with, don't I know how important education is, etc. etc. It's driving me crazy that people just won't shut up about it, not just because it's annoying and none of their business but because they are doing it in front of my child. I can tell it's starting to bother/confuse her. Most of the time I feel forced to say all the positive things I can about us still being home together so she won't feel bad but of course that leads to these people going on and on with their argument. I feel like I can't win because once it's out there it's out there, iykwim. Maybe we should just hide out until the end of September
Anyone else have this problem? Any advice?

[nwatt]

I am sorry that people keep giving you these negative reactions. I am not planning on sending DD to preschool any time soon (she is only just turned 1). If you do send her, it will only be the year before kindergarten. The only reason that I am considering that is that kindergarten here is full day and I think that a year of half-day and maybe not even every day preschool might help her adjust. It never occurred to me that people would make negative comments about no preschool. I guess this is something I have to look forward to.

[captain optimism]

If there is time and a good social context, use the sneaky grandparent-pacifying technique: ask them to tell you about what they liked to do at preschool, or at home with their mom, when they were your daughter's age. A lot of people talking up preschool didn't necessarily go to preschool! The main point is to get them to relate something positive to you about being 3 or having a 3 year old, instead of giving you a hard time about preschool.

If it were me I'd probably tell them she was going to Mommy school. My coworker at one of my jobs told her daughter she was going to Mommy camp when she was that age....

[lilmom]

Ah yes. I am right there with you. I have this problem as well, since my 3 yr old is also not going to preschool and I am home with him.

It drives me craaaazy. I basically feel like this: if you have your child in preschool, I am not about to randomly come ask you why you are not at home with your child, and give you a barrage of reasons as to why your child is going to suffer because they are at preschool and not at home with you.

I have no idea why people feel like it is okay to do the opposite. Ugh.

I also do not have the answer for you. I find that if I point out anything positive about being home with him, they will just argue further, like you said.

If I don't say anything positive, they think I'm agreeing with them and they start telling me about different preschools they know of or where I can go that might not be too expensive!! (In other words, they assume that I can't AFFORD for him to go to preschool. UGH)

I wish I had the answer. I am lately just trying to avoid the conversation as much as possible.

[Learning_Mum]

DS1 started preschool at 4.5yo. Before that he jusy wasn't ready.

I would use that as your go to response - "She's not ready yet".

[crazylady]

We are getting this too! DS is 4.5 and nowhere ready for preschool. I know we a late for the whole school thing. I have told people that we are homeschooling. It doesn't really matter if we are it just gets them off my back!

[NewMoonMum]

My DS misses the cutoff for around here, so he'll be 3.5 before we get him in preschool.
MIL is a preschool teacher, and always tells us that the kids who start later do so much better. The ones who go in early have a really hard time adjusting and struggle to keep up with the older kids, and of course the struggle is difficult for them as well
If you have to answer those nosy people, I think the "She's not ready" suggestion is a good one!

[ssh]

My DD was too high energy for indoor group activities until almost 4. She is also very extroverted and social, so by that time she really needed a larger more regular social group. She goes to a play based preschool so learning academic stuff isn't something we thought was appropriate for young children. Her birthday is in November so she'll have two years of preschool before kindergarten.

Kids have different needs so you meet your child's needs, not do stuff because it's what some other child likes. We know a lot of people who homeschool and with DD being the only child still at home and needing so much more social contact than we could provide preschool was just right for us.

Just tell people you are doing what's right for your DD. Also playing is how small children learn even in a good preschool. So it's more a comfort and social issue instead of an educational one. You can cut people off by saying "I don't discuss my DD in front of her, it's rude". If they try to continue you can ask them if they always talk about people right in front of them like they aren't even there.

[Stephenie]

I get this too, but I just respond with "We're homeschooling." (that is our long term plan) If they try and get into it with me, sometimes I will give some info about our choices, but that seems to work. Or sometimes it upsets them more. There's no pleasing some people.

[OkiMom]

I started to get this when DD1 was 18 months old since its common to start preschool at 18 months over here.. At first I said she was way to young to even think about it and I love having her with me. Now shes 3 1/2 I tell people I plan on homeschooling and we are starting "preschool" at home this year. If its a friend I offer to let them come over when their kids are out of school and they can join us for art time or play time.
My hubby has gotten DD1 to start telling people she goes to the "School of Awesome Momminess" which gets up strange looks and I get a laugh.