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Military Moms: Sept/Oct 2010 - Page 8

post #141 of 263
9/20/10 at 2:23pm
no hard feelings please

Everyone has been helpful and I'm sure I'll hear more of the good as I continue to read. I am considering seriously how well I would do at working REALLY long hours and being away from my family. I would be the one suffering as DH is a wonderful SAHP and since he is encouraging me, I know that he would not feel any anger towards me being away so much. I'm working through my own emotions now to see if I could really handle it myself. I put in 26 hours this weekend at my current job and I really do enjoy working. And I enjoy my children too.

The truth is, we have a lot of debt. And I have a lot of education. And my career options are slim pickings and rather unappealing at the moment. The Navy is an appealing option, but not a decision that I will make without months of consideration and research. So I'll be sticking around here and elsewhere for awhile, just listening.

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post #142 of 263
9/20/10 at 4:59pm
There are ways to express any positive sentiments you may have without minimizing others' experiences by calling them "horror stories".

The fact is that my life has been pretty crappy for the last 15+ months because of the military and I'm feeling no love for it right now. When dh first joined I was able to see the good in it and appreciate the benefits I thought we had and thought the sacrifices were worth it. After many years and several long separations and what that has done to our family unit, I don't feel that way so much anymore.
post #143 of 263
9/20/10 at 6:34pm
Thread Starter 
More major bummer news. DH got a one sentence email from his branch manager saying that he can't go active duty unless he's a captain. Still need to verify this, but if that's the case he'll have no choice but to find a civilian job because the NG won't make him a captain until they return from their deployment in 2013. He SHOULD make captain in December though
post #144 of 263
9/21/10 at 11:51am
oh no, Katie! Keep us updated... definitely thinking of you guys! And what is with the one sentence response? That would tick me off.
post #145 of 263
9/21/10 at 12:16pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by ~Katie~ View Post
More major bummer news. DH got a one sentence email from his branch manager saying that he can't go active duty unless he's a captain. Still need to verify this, but if that's the case he'll have no choice but to find a civilian job because the NG won't make him a captain until they return from their deployment in 2013. He SHOULD make captain in December though
OK. This really sucks. Is the branch manager Ms. Moorman by any chance? DH was able to sweet talk her into giving us this assignment (Ft Lewis) prior to BOLC III. I'll ask him if he has any tips for getting resolution from her. I'm so sorry that you guys are still in limbo, and thus aren't able to make a definitive plan yet. DH didn't have much trouble getting himself released from his NG contract to go AD, but there were no incentives or ROTC issues to be sorted out.
post #146 of 263
9/21/10 at 12:29pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by MarineWife View Post
There are ways to express any positive sentiments you may have without minimizing others' experiences by calling them "horror stories".

The fact is that my life has been pretty crappy for the last 15+ months because of the military and I'm feeling no love for it right now. When dh first joined I was able to see the good in it and appreciate the benefits I thought we had and thought the sacrifices were worth it. After many years and several long separations and what that has done to our family unit, I don't feel that way so much anymore.


It's hard to express a whole lot of positive when we're in the middle of all the negative. Our biggest testimony is that we're still sticking it out. Then again, DH just reenlisted for years 12-16. So there is no "out" for 4 more years, and at that point we'll only have 4 to go to retirement.

I usually tell people who are considering joining the military to go in with a goal in mind. Maybe the goal is to do one contract and gain skills or experiences or money for college or a check on your resume for a future political career. Maybe the goal is to stay in until you earn the retirement benefits. But I advise not to go into the military just for a job.

We got some good news the other day! DH got selected for WO! We should find out where we're going in the next few weeks!
post #147 of 263
9/21/10 at 12:51pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by MarineWife View Post
There are ways to express any positive sentiments you may have without minimizing others' experiences by calling them "horror stories".
im sorry you have been having a hard time in the military and im sorry you felt minimized, that was not my intent at all.
i was actually just bummed that a new lady popped her head in and didn't get a hello and a welcome before a number of folks not just you seemed to focus nearly completely on the bad things.

Military life is hard for sure, i was just wanting her to see we are also a friendly group that supports each other since we all go thru versions of the same stuff around here.

lets drop this now ok? we have better things to talk about and enough to go thru with out extra strife
post #148 of 263
9/21/10 at 1:12pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Soul-O View Post
OK. This really sucks. Is the branch manager Ms. Moorman by any chance? DH was able to sweet talk her into giving us this assignment (Ft Lewis) prior to BOLC III. I'll ask him if he has any tips for getting resolution from her. I'm so sorry that you guys are still in limbo, and thus aren't able to make a definitive plan yet. DH didn't have much trouble getting himself released from his NG contract to go AD, but there were no incentives or ROTC issues to be sorted out.
Yep, that's her! I would be ever so grateful if you had tips to share. It is incredibly frustrating, and it's stinks to have the door opened only to watch it slam shut in our faces again.

DH heard from another source not to believe what she's talking about, so we'll see if we can get some answers from this person.
post #149 of 263
9/21/10 at 1:21pm
Shannon- congrats to your DH!! That's awesome!

My DH wants to go WO... that's his goal. His job has 5 feeders into WO... so I'm crossing my fingers his plan works out.


I'm about to call Gordon today and start planning the move. Oh man. This will be my first moving experience. DH was all moved in and settled when we were together when he was in before. ugh.

Any tips for the move?
post #150 of 263
9/21/10 at 10:29pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by MovingMomma View Post
e got some good news the other day! DH got selected for WO! We should find out where we're going in the next few weeks!
Congratulations!!! DH became an WO last year with the WI NG. It has been a great move for him career-wise and for us as a family. Good luck with everything!
post #151 of 263
9/21/10 at 11:23pm
Hey all, I checked in about a month ago saying I would be back well, here I am Dh left last week for 30-40 days training then he'll fly out end of Oct. He's been gone a week now and I feel like I finally clicked back over into "deployment" mode of being able to suck it up. Dd1 is 3 and dd2 just turned 7 mos this week, hardest thing right now is bedtime. Dd1 has almost outgrown naps and its been such a fight to try to get her down I've just let her stay up. So bedtime has been a little more emotional bc she's tired. Dd2 is a little bit high maintenance when it comes to sleep, has to be dark and very quiet, if her sisters around she'll just cry. I've always done bedtime all on my own and just gone back and forth between rooms (dd1 started sleeping in her own room in April). She really wants to come sleep in my bed at bedtime but that means the baby won't go to sleep bc big sis 'talks herself to sleep' for lack of a better description. I told her tonight that I'd come back and get her as soon as the baby was asleep and she cried and cried that she didn't want me to leave her. Broke my heart but she finally settled down after I sat and talked to her about it for a minute, told her I'd be right back and went to nurse the baby to sleep. I was gone 7 minutes and when I came back she was asleep. I'm just not sure how to make it positive for everyone involved. She's been coming to my bed in the wee morning hours but then the baby won't sleep after she joins us bc dd1 is a very active sleeper. Even if I put baby into a playpen next to the bed she is still woken up by dd1 thrashing around. Any suggestions? I don't want to tell her she can't come to bed with me but it means everyone gets less sleep. If I sleep in her room I get very little sleep bc baby wakes up every 10-30 minutes if I'm not next to her. 3 days of 3 hours of sleep is starting to wear. She is so angry this week and I can tell stressed out, I've tried to be very positive and said everything I know to say to support her emotionally but I worry that I'm not doing enough.

Maine Mama Doula~ We have used the military to help us get out of debt and it has been wonderful for that purpose. I agree with the person that said you should have a goal in mind and not just do it as a job. I don't think the hard part of deployment is the seperation, I think it is the reintegration afterwards. The military has been good to us.
post #152 of 263
9/22/10 at 3:55pm
Maes going to be an October baby
post #153 of 263
9/22/10 at 4:21pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by MaerynPearl View Post
Maes going to be an October baby
The odds are in your favor, chances are good she'll be here before then In the mean time, can you do something else to distract yourself and get your mind off things? Stress can definitely impede things. Have you been to a chiropractor or acupuncturist?
post #154 of 263
9/22/10 at 4:27pm
Cant afford either. Cant even afford food right now thanks to my lovely ex for not sending us child support when he said he did. That is what I get for counting on that money. I should have known better than to count on it, though until now he has sent it every time he said he did.
post #155 of 263
9/22/10 at 4:40pm
MP, thinking of you. I know it probably sounds silly, but have you told Mae that you're ready for her to come? Maybe she's just too too comfy....

Katie, sorry your situation is going from bad to worse. Hopefully there's some truth in that woman not knowing what she's talking about.

MM, congrats to you and your DH! I'm jealous that you'll be getting an assignment so soon... We're looking at January and it seems like forever away!

MK, take lots of photos in case you file a damage claim. Other than that, just hope you get good movers!
post #156 of 263
9/22/10 at 4:51pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by justKate View Post
MP, thinking of you. I know it probably sounds silly, but have you told Mae that you're ready for her to come? Maybe she's just too too comfy....
Both DH and I have... DH does once or twice a night... sometimes lays down with his head on my belly and tells her how much better its going to be out here where everyone can snuggle her and she can stretch out without making mommy yell out in pain. Its so cute and is actually something I think I will miss after I have her.
post #157 of 263
9/22/10 at 5:35pm
Thread Starter 
I'm sorry, MP If you haven't already, check out the spinning babies website. I really suspect a positioning issue since you're having a lot of contractions without any dilation, that's a signal that your body is working really hard to move her into the right position for labor. If you're having pelvic issues, it may be out of alignment and causing issues with how her head is positioned as well. Another trick that worked well for me is lifting my belly up during a contraction, you may also have some luck with robozo work if you midwife is experienced with that. I'll keep sending you labor vibes
post #158 of 263
9/22/10 at 5:45pm
Thanks

Ive been suspecting pelvic alignment issues due to my SPD... and the fact that she is still REALLY high...

but she has been LOA every check so far... but today (perhaps after last nights worst-contractions-yet?) was very clearly ROA
post #159 of 263
9/22/10 at 5:55pm
Thread Starter 
It's possible that her head is not properly aligned, even if she's facing your back, or that she's turned slightly more to one side. If she's up high, I would definitely suspect that her head is shifted to the side and preventing her from dropping properly. It could also be that your hips and ligaments are out of alignment and preventing her from getting her head properly positioned in order to drop into your pelvis. Has your midwife made any recommendations for working the issues with your pelvis out?
post #160 of 263
9/23/10 at 12:29pm
Thread Starter 
The Call to Duty program specifically states that it's only open to captains. I'm still going to have DH ask if he can make captain in December since they don't have a slot for him anyway, I'm not holding my breath.

He did go to a job fair yesterday and recruiters were actually approaching him and saying they needed LT's and CPT's and giving him their information, he asked me to go through some of it today and start researching. Does anyone know if he can drill in another state and still deploy with his NY unit? The likelihood of him getting a job anywhere around Syracuse is pretty slim, he'll most likely end up in Maryland or Virginia.
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