3 year olds seem to be getting more difficult

[at-home]

My twins will be age 4 next month. I thought that, by now, they would be a lot more cooperative/reasonable than they are. I'm getting to where I hate to wake up in the morning to another day of their antics! They love to grab things which are "off limits" and use and/or destroy them (anything from cds & books, to kitchen spices and utensils to writing on the walls). I am clear about what is ok and what isn't. They just seem to get a charge out of doing the things that aren't ok. I am with them all day and provide things for them to do with me and without me. I have other children who also need my attention besides just getting my normal housework done each day. I just don't know what to do anymore.

[Mizelenius]

Preschool? It won't change their behavior but it will add something new to the day (break out of the pattern) and give you a little break.

I say this as a parent who homeschools her 8 y.o. but has a 5 y.o. in KG (her choice). My 5 y.o. needs a lot more structure and constant organized activity changes than I can give her right now. My 3 y.o. does not . . .she is happy going along on our outings and can play alone. It's all personality.

[nmelanson]

Funny, I just came on here to get advice for my 3 yo DS (4 in Nov). Every new stage from birth until the day he turned 3 was my new fav. stage. 3 sucks. He went from being an angelic, sweet 2 yo to a destructive, non-listening 3 yo overnight! I seriously went for about 5 months in which I really dreaded having days off work - I would have rather worked 7 day/wk. Then there were about 3 months where it seemed he was coming around and I completely fell in love with him all over again. The last couple of weeks have seen a return to the monster side.
I DO count my lucky stars that he is a nice kid - he is very kind to other people and compassionate. However, he destroys stuff at home (throws, bashes), plays with things that I have asked him numerous times not to touch, then loses them. He does not play with his toys, just gets into our stuff. He can now pretty much get access to anything he wants by dragging a chair around and climbing up. We have a VERY small house (450 sq ft), shelves instead of kitchen cupboards, so putting locks on them is not an option. He DOES NOT LISTEN until I yell. I feel like I've turned into a terrible, fire-eating dragon and I don't think it's fair to either of us, but I don't know what to do! I try and try and try to be gentle, but he just goes so far beyond, and it's not reasonable for me to watch his EVERY move.
I also have a 6 week old DS2, so I know that I can't pay as much attention to DS1 as I would like to, and that's the main problem. He is bored. That being said, considering DS2 is only 6 weeks old, I think we do a lot to keep DS1 occupied. I go out and try to get together with other moms/kids 2-3 times a week, and we go to the library and parks several times a week as well. I also let DS1 watch a lot more movies than I regularly do (he loves them, so it's kind of like a treat).
I think I am going to go crazy because I feel so torn. I feel guilty that boredom is largely causing, but frustrated and very resentful too because I can't give DS2 the calm environment and attention I want to, or get stuff done around the house that needs to be done without fear that DS1 is getting into things. I feel like it is ruining my relationship with DS1, and I fear that my yelling is damaging his spirit. I cross my fingers that "it's just a stage".
On the plus side, he loves DS2 tremendously (except not his crying which I have to let him do in order to meet DS1's needs sometimes). He also loves to help me by fetchng blankets and diapers, throwing dirty laundry in the hamper and getting me water while I'm nursing).

I need tips on how to stop a 3 (almost 4) year old from destroying things, knocking things on to the floor (purposely) as he walks by (for no reason... not anger) and altogether getting into things that he shouldn't (after I've had a respectful talk about not touching and explained why very clearly and he agrees that he shouldn't). I look forward to getting more of a routine going in our lives as DS2 gets older and doesn't cluster-nurse for long-periods of time.

I'd love to hear from people too!!! Thanks! at-home, I hope you don't feel like I'm hijacking your message! I just thought it would be silly to put up a second thread about the same thing.