Non-mainstream toys for mainstream children?

[curiouscanadian]

So my nephew's 4th birthday is coming up this weekend and while I am looking to buy him a gift, it occured to me to wonder if it is, um, appropriate (?) to buy a mainstream child a non-mainstream type gift?

Not that I think anything we would buy him would be INappropriate, but just a couple of weeks ago they gave DS a toy totally opposite to our values (a light-up, flip-over remote control car complete with extra disposible batteries - for a 2yo ), so I wonder if in some way they see our "crunchy" gifts as pushing our values on their family.

They're a good family and I love my nephew, but he's definitely a TV-watching, electronic toy-raised kid and I find myself hesitating to buy something without batteries as I'm pretty sure it needs to be flashy to keep his attention, IYKWIM.

So what kind of toys do you buy for the mainstream kids in your life?

[tbone_kneegrabber]

stomp rocket!

art supplies

[lach]

I guess it depends on what you mean by non-mainstream. Like, a playsilk? Because while I adore and value them as amazing toys, I can see that going over like a lead balloon with many families. ("What is it?" "I don't know, a blanket?" "Doesn't seem very warm.")

But I think there are tons of toys that can meet "crunchier" values (whatever your values may be... sustainable materials, non-electronic, non-character, etc) while still being seen as a somewhat normal present. Blocks, instruments, games, craft projects, books, puzzles, outdoor toys. Brands like Melissa and Doug and the Target wooden toys are sort of a compromise between the two extremes.

[curiouscanadian]

I guess it depends on what you mean by non-mainstream. Like, a playsilk? Because while I adore and value them as amazing toys, I can see that going over like a lead balloon with many families. ("What is it?" "I don't know, a blanket?" "Doesn't seem very warm.")

LOL! That's exactly what I mean! I'm planning on dying some playsilks for Christmas for DS and thought about doing some for my nephew but didn't figure he'd have a clue what to do with them...

Craft stuff occurred to me but to be honest, I've never seen or heard of him doing anything remotely crafty. The stomp rocket seems like something he'd enjoy though! Mostly I was hoping to get him something that "unplugged" him for a bit from all the electronics/TV characters he's so addicted to. (But that's when I started to wonder if I was pushing my values on him...)

[lilyka]

Stomp rocket is my go to toy as well. Love those things!! They are so fun.

Also things like magnifying glasses and bug catchers, art supplies, hot wheels (my girls still have their collection of these and while they are just little metal cars I am surprised how open ended they are.) or course legos and playmobile are always cool.

Honestly we are pretty low tech but out of three children I doubt any of them would have gotten much use out of a play silk. Maybe here and there but it would not have been a hit or anything and my kids are happy with scrap cloth, they do not need expensive "playsilks". I would definitely skip that. You really already have to be there for those to be cool. I think there is a nice middle ground between waldorfy type stuff (most of which I dislike even though I am very crunchy) and electronic, beeping, flashing, crap. I would just find something cool and exciting that is not electric or character driven.

[lach]

Yeah, I'd skip the playsilks. Lilyka said it perfectly: you have to already be there to appreciate something like that. I also don't think that they're self-explanatory. I think kids who enjoy playsilks are kinda trained into knowing how to play with them.

I think the magnifying glass and bug catcher idea is a great one. Something outdoorsy and naturey would be loved by more 6 year olds, even those who like their electronic toys.

[mamadelbosque]

Just another vote for the stop rocket - we have the jr stomp rocket from amazon (w/ glow-in-the-dark rockets ) and they are *SO* fun!!! They go *SO* high and are completely safe (I don't even worry about them hitting ds2 )

And the playsilks... yeah. I bought some off a co-op on here a coupel yrs ago. And they have mostly just sat... we get them out an use them as capes occasionally, but thats about it.

[VisionaryMom]

Originally Posted by lach

I guess it depends on what you mean by non-mainstream. Like, a playsilk? Because while I adore and value them as amazing toys, I can see that going over like a lead balloon with many families. ("What is it?" "I don't know, a blanket?" "Doesn't seem very warm.")

Yeah, my family would have this conversation while raising their eyebrows at each other.

Originally Posted by curiouscanadian

LOL! That's exactly what I mean! I'm planning on dying some playsilks for Christmas for DS and thought about doing some for my nephew but didn't figure he'd have a clue what to do with them...

I think you're right, and I don't think that's a bad thing. It's important not to assume that a lack of interest in an item signals some kind of deficiency. My son, who has had the gamut of wooden/quirky/open-ended toys, refuses to play with playsilks. When his class did them when he was *2*, he said, "that was stupid. I don't want to dance with a scarf." He's still that way. Now my DD would be delighted, and she's had the same upbringing, so there ya go...

Originally Posted by lilyka

Also things like magnifying glasses and bug catchers, art supplies, hot wheels (my girls still have their collection of these and while they are just little metal cars I am surprised how open ended they are.) or course legos and playmobile are always cool.

These are all good ideas. I tend to go for things I think will challenge minds, so I often buy puzzles or puzzle-type games. Or books.

[mumkimum]

the comet-tail balls are fun

schleich animals are pretty all-purpose, and folkmanis puppets go over pretty well

4 is a pretty good age for beginning stuff like kid skateboard/roller skates if he doesn't have those

[seagull]

Books, washable markers and a coloring book, matchbox cars

[aprons_and_acorns]

I agree with the PPs about the toys with lots of "crossover appeal" if you will. Books, science stuff, puppets, games/sport gear, etc. would probably all be good. Also just to throw in my two cents on the Stomp Rocket-- my little boy loves those.


Melissa & Doug makes a great set of 60 standard unit blocks. They ship free from Amazon too which is nice cause they are fairly heavy.

Like, a playsilk? Because while I adore and value them as amazing toys, I can see that going over like a lead balloon with many families. ("What is it?" "I don't know, a blanket?" "Doesn't seem very warm.")

I would skip the silks too, however it is worth mentioning that my *very* mainstream (if that's how you call it) 6 y.o. nephew LOVES to come over and dress up in playsilks at our house. He even wore a bunch of them in the children's parade last spring and was as proud as a peacock. Likewise, my son has fun at his house riding the Power Wheels and driving the RC trucks.

[EFmom]

I agree with the others that there's a middle ground that's likely to appeal to lots of kids.

My own kids had zero interest in playsilks. They also left all those gorgeous, expensive, open-ended wooden toys that I thought would be a hit go pretty much untouched.

The bug stuff or any nature related stuff is good, as are books or puzzles. There are also old-fashioned toys like slinkeys, Tonka trucks, or Etch-a-sketches that are also fun.

I'd never seen the stomp rocket before and now I want one. I suppose I can't really buy it for my dd13, can I?

[Qbear'smama]

I like board games from Orchard and Haba. I find board games for kids these days are underrated and most in mainstream toy stores are crappy spinoffs of character shows (MIL got DD a Dora board game and DH and it was really not fun!) so kids don't want to play them, understandably. I bought this one for a friend's 5 year old recently and she loved it:

http://www.orchardtoys.com/products/bus-stop/

[happysmileylady]

I wouldn't worry about whether something fits a "mainstream" or "non-mainstream" label, and just get him something he enjoys. Not to mention, just because a kid has some "mainstream" electronic toys, that doesn't in any way mean that they don't love other stuff. Just ask his parents what he enjoys...or even ask him if he can communicate that well enough.

I have 2 nephews who are 4. They all sorts of typical boy stuff. Cars (both the movie and the other non-disney kind), bugs, dinosaurs, construction stuff, etc. One of my nephews is way into his karate stuff, he just started a Karate class. And for my other nephew, my brother just got his pilot's license, so he's way into planes right now. Sure, both boys would be happy getting an age appropriate video gamee...but they would also be totally happy getting some wooden planes and cars that they can crash into each other. Because that's stuff they like,

[simplemama32]

Hearthsong also has a lot of good options, IMO. DS is still a little young for many of the games and toys there, but they look like fun to me.

I love the idea of a nature kit. This idea might be better for an older child, but you could also do something like a "secret agent" or detective kit with a magnifying glass, invisible ink/decoders, etc.

I also give a lot of books as gifts.

[AFWife]

Originally Posted by happysmileylady

I wouldn't worry about whether something fits a "mainstream" or "non-mainstream" label, and just get him something he enjoys. Not to mention, just because a kid has some "mainstream" electronic toys, that doesn't in any way mean that they don't love other stuff. Just ask his parents what he enjoys...or even ask him if he can communicate that well enough.
,

I agree with this. If it makes you feel better about the gift try to get something that doesn't need batteries and doesn't have cartoon characters all over it. Other than that, if he'll love some plastic piece of whatever that you roll your eyes at then I'd buy it. *shrugs*

[mrspineau]

I dunno, I mean what is maintstream anyhow? My 2yo would love that remote control car, and he would also love playsilks. He has all sorts of flashy light up sound making toys, and he also has lots of wooden, simple type toys. I think that for the most part with kids, toys are toys. I think that art supplies are always fun, whether you have seen him do it or not maybe he just hasn't been exposed to it yet. Or maybe a dress up costume? or books?

[sewchris2642]

Ijwouldn't worry about "mainstream" or "non-mainstream". Go with what he likes. Don't buy the battery-powered toy if you have personal reasons not to like them. Buy a Tonka truck instead of a RC vehicle for example. Don't rule out plastic toys simply because they are plastic. Legos are way more open ended than wooden blocks. Animals and dinosaurs are way more realistic when made in plastic than in wood. Fisher Price and Playschool are great for open ended play. I've never undstood playsilks. That's what sheets, pillowcases, blankets, and tablecloths are for. Not to mention, living room furniture and the dining room table and chairs. Kid sized gardening tools, buckets, shovels, scoops are all good outdoor toys. Matchbox and other small cars are also good. Magnets. Magnifying glass.

[curiouscanadian]

It's important not to assume that a lack of interest in an item signals some kind of deficiency.

Oh, I definitely wouldn't assume some sort of deficiency! I was more feeling that there was no point getting a non-electronic toy due to my nephew's lack of interest in them. I do want him to enjoy his present.

I dunno, I mean what is maintstream anyhow?

To me mainstream is things you can find at TRU, Walmart & the like. Honestly I'm currently more knowledgeable about Waldorf-type toys available online than I am most things in TRU! (Not trying to be judgemental, it just doesn't have the stuff I'm interested in for DS so I don't spend a lot of time there. Plus we don't watch TV so I don't have any ideas from commercials.)

There's just a lot of discussion on here about wanting other people to respect our choices and I want to be sure I'm affording them the same respect while still giving him something I'm comfortable with. For example, I'm fine with plastic, just not junk, and there's been lots of great suggestions here. I've also sent a message to my SIL to see if she can give me some ideas.

Oh, and I'd really LOVE to get him a Stomp Rocket but TRU doesn't seem to carry them and I'm not sure where else I might find them in Canada? (Before Saturday, I might add! )

(Books would also be an easy one, but I got the vibe from a recent get-together that the parents are feeling like they've got lots of books and would prefer something else. So one of those respecting-the-parents'-preferences things...)

[happysmileylady]

Oh, I definitely wouldn't assume some sort of deficiency! I was more feeling that there was no point getting a non-electronic toy due to my nephew's lack of interest in them. I do want him to enjoy his present.

He seriously has NO interested whatsoever at all in anything that doesn't have an on switch? I honestly have never met a child like that.

Someone mentioned legos...legos are one of the most creative toys in existance, seriously. And I have only met a few kids who don't like legos...is that something your nephew might be interested in? Sure they are carried at TRU and Walmart and every other store that sells toys in existance. And they are plastic and all over tv. But, there's no on switch and they are probably the most open ended toy you can find. Give a kid an hour with a box of legos and you will end up with planes and castles and lego block people and animals. Legos make everything:

There's just a lot of discussion on here about wanting other people to respect our choices and I want to be sure I'm affording them the same respect while still giving him something I'm comfortable with

Just because the parents have made a choice to allow plastic/electronic toys (or rather, to not try to avoid those things) that doesn't mean that parent isn't equally open to non-electronic or more open ended stuff. I sometimes think that people (not saying you in particular, just in general here) are so wrapped up in their "non-mainstream-ness" (hows that' for inventing vocabulary : ) that they forget that most "mainstream" parents don't label themselves as "mainstream" and just do whatever works for their kids.



I find it ironic to see posts like this online