The September "Whatever" Thread - Page 2

[Kimmiepie]

Originally Posted by MarineWife

Ok, here it is.

hilary ~ I don't know about EPO. I don't take that. The midwife I saw told me to start taking the flaxseed oil after I was already pg because it's supposed to help support a pg. (Actually, she told me to take fish oil but that makes me sick so I take flaxseed oil instead, which is fine.) Flaxseed oil can be taken all the time.

My temps were weird again. I woke at 4:20 and took my temp, 97.3. Stayed in bed, maybe dozed off a few times, maybe not. Temped again at 6:35, 97.7. That's close to what it would be from the 4:20 if adjusted. So, how weird is that my temp is either 97.3 or 97.7 regardless of when I take it? I put the 4:20 temp in. Yesterday's temp was taken around 5:30.

I got a + opk today. What to do, what to do. If we BD tonight and I O tomorrow, it will be serious boy timing. If we don't BD, I think it may be too late for a chance of pg. Last BD would just barely be within the 6 day window but my CF was sticky that day so not likely that much sperm survived. I would not really count on a pg from that. If I don't O until the day after tomorrow and we BD tonight, it could go either way, I think, but still more boy timing. *sigh*

You guys can tell me if I'm getting to TTC for this thread. I won't be hurt or offended.

Oh,

Well, while I guess that trying to avoid DTD if the mood strikes specifically because you don't want a boy is not "whatevering"....I'd be guilty of the same thing. I really really want a girl. So I'm not help in that department.

[Kimmiepie]

Originally Posted by AnnieA

MW, I think you should just go for it. We've both been on these boards long enough to have seen mamas have boys from DTD 6 days prior to O and mamas that have girls from DTD the day before O.

AFM: I wonder if I should join you guys over here. DH and I have not had a discussion regarding this but we have resumed intercourse and we do not use any protection or w/d. Are we playing with fire? I'm not worried about a baby but I am worried about getting pregnant so soon after a D&E.

My chart: http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/1f0436

Did your doctor say when you could try again? I'm not sure about a D&E, I think I've heard 3 months. As someone suggested though, I'm not sure the reason behind that is totally necessary. With a "regular" miscarriage (passed naturally) I was told by a midwife that whenever you are emotionally ready is fine. So if you don't have any concerns about actually getting pregnant right now I would just keep on doing what you are doing. After talking to your dh of course.

AFM: I am on CD12 and gearing up for O. This is my first cycle post miscarriage. Oddly enough, I am having more fertile CM than I've had in a while! At least more amounts of the same kind. My temps have also been going strangely low this month.
Most of us seem to be at about the same point in our cycles.
http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/2be681

[MarineWife]

Originally Posted by MovingMomma

MW: Aren't the better odds just like 60/40 when going for gender?

I have no idea. I haven't seen any stats on that, unless you are talking strictly Shettles. I can't remember the specific #s but there were 3 different studies with 3 different outcomes. I think one had a pretty high rate of gender success but there were major questions about the validity of the study.

Originally Posted by MovingMomma

But the latest big study that said it was actually better to go for it right away than to wait was looking at older women (over 40) & maybe they all had fertility issues to begin with...anyway, I wasn't convinced that the data said what the authors said it did; there were too many confounding variables.

Well, that would be me, wouldn't it? Is that what people are referring to when they say there's a higher chance of conception right after a m/c? I have seen that idea thrown around but have never seen any studies or reasons to back it up.

Carrie ~ Definitely a baby, boy or girl, is more important to me at this point than a girl. I guess I also don't really put a lot of stock in the gender selection methods. I think it's fun/interesting to try as long as it isn't dangerous or detrimental to conceiving in general. That's why I won't do the extreme girl sway stuff.

[AnnieA]

Originally Posted by Kimmiepie

Did your doctor say when you could try again? I'm not sure about a D&E, I think I've heard 3 months. As someone suggested though, I'm not sure the reason behind that is totally necessary. With a "regular" miscarriage (passed naturally) I was told by a midwife that whenever you are emotionally ready is fine. So if you don't have any concerns about actually getting pregnant right now I would just keep on doing what you are doing. After talking to your dh of course.

AFM: I am on CD12 and gearing up for O. This is my first cycle post miscarriage. Oddly enough, I am having more fertile CM than I've had in a while! At least more amounts of the same kind. My temps have also been going strangely low this month.
Most of us seem to be at about the same point in our cycles.
http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/2be681

The doctor that performed the D&E said we should wait 3 months. Also my friend who is a doc said the same thing. The thing about the uterine lining makes sense and I wouldn't want to intentionally conceive if it was just going to end in a very early miscarriage. Definitely going to need to have a talk with DH tonight because I have EWCF now.

[AnnieA]

Originally Posted by MarineWife

I have no idea. I haven't seen any stats on that, unless you are talking strictly Shettles. I can't remember the specific #s but there were 3 different studies with 3 different outcomes. I think one had a pretty high rate of gender success but there were major questions about the validity of the study.



Well, that would be me, wouldn't it? Is that what people are referring to when they say there's a higher chance of conception right after a m/c? I have seen that idea thrown around but have never seen any studies or reasons to back it up.

Carrie ~ Definitely a baby, boy or girl, is more important to me at this point than a girl. I guess I also don't really put a lot of stock in the gender selection methods. I think it's fun/interesting to try as long as it isn't dangerous or detrimental to conceiving in general. That's why I won't do the extreme girl sway stuff.

A new study was released about a month ago that said that the cycle after a miscarriage was highly fertile. I can't remember exactly but I bet you could find it on Google news under health.

Purely anecdotal, but I've also heard that older guys produce more girls...something about the X sperm being more hardy than the Y sperm.

[MovingMomma]

Here's an article about the study I mentioned.

[akind1]

I was reading an article somewhere that said women who conceive within 6 months of a miscarriage are much more likely to carry a subsequent pregnancy to term than women who wait or conceive a year or more post m/c. I think it might have been a link of msnbc -so pretty mainstream.

CM has dried up (again) so maybe AF is around the corner? I hope so, this is like CD 52 or 52 now. ready for a new beginning!

[MarineWife]

That's interesting but it addresses pregnancies within 6 months or after 6 months of a miscarriage. Waiting 6 months seems excessive to me. I don't know that that really helps when trying to decide whether or not to prevent the same cycle as the miscarriage or the cycle right after.

I've noticed none of the info makes a distinction between a very early miscarriage and a later miscarriage. I would think there might be different recovery times for a chemical pg vs. a miscarriage that occurs before 8 or 10 weeks vs. a miscarriage that occurs at 22 weeks or whatever the cut off is for when it becomes a stillbirth. (I'm just pulling #s out of the air.) They also don't distinguish between a natural or spontaneous miscarriage and having a medical procedure such as a D&C or D&E or taking meds to complete the miscarriage.

For example, with the uterine lining issue, my intuition tells me that if the pg ended very early, say before 8 weeks, and the bleeding was like a regular , not a lot of heavy, prolonged bleeding or passing lots of clots, the lining would be fine right away. With a D&C or a D&E I think it might take longer for the lining to build back up because more might have been removed than would have been shed naturally.

I know this post is long but I've got another question. Shannon, your expertise please , and anyone else who knows or has an idea or opinion.

I got my first + opk with FMU today. I tested twice yesterday, once with FMU and once in the afternoon, and both were dark, almost there but still negative. I had 2 days of copious ewcf. Today my CF has been scant and sticky. My temp is tricky. I woke at 4:20 so took my temp and it was 97.3. I stayed in bed and dozed off and on but never really got back to a deep sleep. I took my temp again at 6:35 and it was 97.7. If I adjusted it from the 4:20 temp, it would have been 97.8. Except for 2 other unusually high temps, both also 97.7, my temps have been 97.3. That would mean today's temp is way above most of my previous temps. So, now to my question...

Do you think it's possible I Oed before I got the + opk? Maybe I Oed overnight. If I didn't O but my peak day was yesterday and my CF has since dried up, is it very likely that I could still get pg?

[Baby_Cakes]

I think if yesterday was your peak day, and CF is drying up and O is today (for example) and you bd tonight, you still have a good chance of getting pg. I'm curious to see what your temps are for the next few days, though, to see if you can confirm O. Or -- my other guess, would be that your body geared up to O, and then backed off. You just can't be sure yet w/o seeing more temps.

AFM - I am swimming in CF over here. It's a bit uncomfortable. I've never had this much and I even contemplated wearing a liner, lol.

I got an invite to a baby shower today, and while I'm happy for this person, man did I feel bitter for awhile. Another person having a baby that isn't me, woo hoo, for reals.

akind1 - I sure hope finds u soon! 52 days is a long time. Hang in there, sweetie.

[MarineWife]

Originally Posted by Baby_Cakes

my other guess, would be that your body geared up to O, and then backed off. You just can't be sure yet w/o seeing more temps.

That's always a possibility. I certainly have had many times when I've gotten ewcf that dried up and hadn't Oed and ended up getting another patch of ewcf later with confirmed O. However, I've never gotten a + opk and not Oed and I've used a lot of opks. I know it can happen so I'm not ruling it out completely. I just think it would be very unlikely for me.

At any rate, I'm getting way to TTC. I need to chill. Talk me down, guys. Talk me down!

Oh and on the baby shower invite, I saw on FB yesterday that someone I know is pg again. This is a person who I dropped as a friend because she was so insensitive about my m/c last summer. I feel kind of bad for doing that but I just couldn't deal with the stuff she kept saying. So then to see that she's pg again right after I've had another m/c killed me. I just cried and cried.

[Kindermama]

MW-- does your PCOS have anything to do with your repeat miscarriages? Have the Dr's looked into that being the cause?

[MovingMomma]

MW: What about the open circles on CD 12 & 15? I don't really know about opk's...I don't think it's very likely that you've O'd yet. I guess if you shaved the first two 97.7's then today could look like the start of a shift, but if you want to get pg, then you should BD. But that isn't talking you down, now is it?

[MarineWife]

Originally Posted by Kindermama

MW-- does your PCOS have anything to do with your repeat miscarriages? Have the Dr's looked into that being the cause?

It could. I've just started taking metformin again for that. It takes at least 3 months on the full dose for it to be fully effective. I'm only on the 2nd week and just upped my dosage but still not at my full dosage yet. I really don't like the idea of taking a diabetes medication if I don't have diabetes or insulin resistance. I just had my A1C checked again and it was good. The docs tell me it could be this or it could be that. We don't know for sure. It could just be my age.

Shannon ~ Yeah, thanks for talking me down. hehe

The open circles are when I temped early. The 96.9 one (yesterday I think) was taken at 5:30 and today was at 4:20. I also got temps at my usual time, around 6:30, but I don't know how accurate they are because I never really got back to sleep. The cd12 temp was taken at 6:05, which FF has decided is outside my normal temp time. I keep changing things, putting in my other temps to see how it looks. My Ovusoft chart looks a little different because it's set to adjust temps and I put in the temps closest to my normal temp time if I got it then.

I am way overanalyzing everything. Ovusoft has all my BD as very low pg chance, which I don't get. It says the + opk means I should O in a day or two and that I'm very fertile. If that's so, then wouldn't BD tonight be very good? Oh, and I dug around a bit and did find some ewcf so I feel a little better about that. That would make BD today even better since it's now my peak day. Ovusoft still says all my BD is very low.

[onetwoten]

See all of that ^^ Is the reason that I love not having a real chart for the first part of my cycle... but then it's the second part that gets me stressed out and chewing my hair.

I think the "whatever" thing to do, would be put the information in, and then close the chart, and think about what you -feel- like doing. You mentioned it seeming like forever since you've dtd, so tell yourself not to stress about it, and just go have fun. You won't be able to tell anything until after anyways, and this way, you don't have to worry about making a decision about boy/girl too soon/just right, etc. You're just enjoying your husband, and whatever happens, happens. There's plenty of time next week to wonder and calculate once you've confirmed ovulation.

RE: Everyone else in the freaking world having babies but us: Way back when before we were married DH and I believe we had an early loss that I was very very attached to (or at least attached to the idea of, I guess). Almost a year later, I found out that a very good friend of mine from high school had had a baby on what would have been my exact due date. I essentially had a meltdown. I just couldn't deal with the fact that she 'had my baby'. It doesn't seem fair.

I'm currently in an awkward place at work... I'm one month onto the job, already a little bit worried about having to tell them eventually (hopefully soon) about my own pregnancy. And twice now I've caught a coworker googling pregnancy, obviously her own, at work. And no one else seems to know, and she doesn't know that I've noticed. And then on top of it, she was super sick yesterday, and if her googling was any indication, is spotting now. She's only 7 weeks. Ugh. It's such an awful situation.

[Kimmiepie]

Originally Posted by MarineWife

I know this post is long but I've got another question. Shannon, your expertise please , and anyone else who knows or has an idea or opinion.

I got my first + opk with FMU today. I tested twice yesterday, once with FMU and once in the afternoon, and both were dark, almost there but still negative. I had 2 days of copious ewcf. Today my CF has been scant and sticky. My temp is tricky. I woke at 4:20 so took my temp and it was 97.3. I stayed in bed and dozed off and on but never really got back to a deep sleep. I took my temp again at 6:35 and it was 97.7. If I adjusted it from the 4:20 temp, it would have been 97.8. Except for 2 other unusually high temps, both also 97.7, my temps have been 97.3. That would mean today's temp is way above most of my previous temps. So, now to my question...

Do you think it's possible I Oed before I got the + opk? Maybe I Oed overnight. If I didn't O but my peak day was yesterday and my CF has since dried up, is it very likely that I could still get pg?

Yes, it is def. possible! I had a cycle recently where I never got the +. One day was VERY dark but not quite there yet...and the next day it was clearly negative and my CF dried up. I assumed I had not ovulated yet but a thermal shift right after shows that I clearly did. Apparently I might have missed the surge. I think you should still DTD!

I'm currently in an awkward place at work... I'm one month onto the job, already a little bit worried about having to tell them eventually (hopefully soon) about my own pregnancy. And twice now I've caught a coworker googling pregnancy, obviously her own, at work. And no one else seems to know, and she doesn't know that I've noticed. And then on top of it, she was super sick yesterday, and if her googling was any indication, is spotting now. She's only 7 weeks. Ugh. It's such an awful situation.

Is there some reason that people shouldn't be pregnant where you work? Sorry if I missed this before.

I'm off to go wake up dh for a little lovin' I think!

[MarineWife]

Originally Posted by jeninejessica

I think the "whatever" thing to do, would be put the information in, and then close the chart, and think about what you -feel- like doing. You mentioned it seeming like forever since you've dtd, so tell yourself not to stress about it, and just go have fun. You won't be able to tell anything until after anyways, and this way, you don't have to worry about making a decision about boy/girl too soon/just right, etc. You're just enjoying your husband, and whatever happens, happens. There's plenty of time next week to wonder and calculate once you've confirmed ovulation.

That's pretty much what I did. I turned off my computer last night and tried to let it all go. I know my body way too well, though. If this isn't O, I don't know what it is. My ovusoft chart even went ahead and called it. I can't figure out why because I don't have it set to use opks.

My FF chart

My Ovusoft chart

[MarineWife]

Me again. I fixed Ovusoft so it's not already saying I Oed. I guess if you have it set to use opks at all to help determine fertile and luteal phase, it marks O a day after that opk. Anyway, that's not on my chart anymore.

[akind1]

MW, I am no expert, but you know, I do think anything is possible, it is so easy to miss the surge with OPK's. I say jump your DH just for the fun of it, and maybe it will do the trick

A young (she is 20, I think) cousin of DH's had a baby girl last december and is due again this december on her DD1's b-day. the couple, though married, isn't in a great place financially, so when we initially heard, we were like, that was not a smart thing to do. However, you know, baby is on the way, so it is just something you have to deal with. They seem happy enough about it, which is a good thing. If we hadn't had DS, her having two babies so close together would have really bothered me.

AFM: CD1!!!!! actually really happy about that, even though I feel like crap. Cycle was 53 days long. ugh. DH was asking DS yesterday when he would want a little sister (obv set on a girl for the next one, hehe) and I told him, whenever mommy's body sorts itself out! LOL go figure! so maybe we will be whatevering sooner than later?? hard to say.

[Baby_Cakes]

Originally Posted by jeninejessica

I think the "whatever" thing to do, would be put the information in, and then close the chart, and think about what you -feel- like doing. You mentioned it seeming like forever since you've dtd, so tell yourself not to stress about it, and just go have fun. You won't be able to tell anything until after anyways, and this way, you don't have to worry about making a decision about boy/girl too soon/just right, etc. You're just enjoying your husband, and whatever happens, happens. There's plenty of time next week to wonder and calculate once you've confirmed ovulation.

RE: Everyone else in the freaking world having babies but us: Way back when before we were married DH and I believe we had an early loss that I was very very attached to (or at least attached to the idea of, I guess). Almost a year later, I found out that a very good friend of mine from high school had had a baby on what would have been my exact due date. I essentially had a meltdown. I just couldn't deal with the fact that she 'had my baby'. It doesn't seem fair.

JJ - I'm so sorry for your loss. That would send me over the edge, too, I think. What a tough thing to deal with.

MW - I have to agree w/JJ. Put your temp in, stop fiddling w/settings and possible O dates, etc. You gotta just chill, woman! And I'm taking my own advice this cycle, for a change. I didn't even know I was on CD12 or whatever yesterday until I went to put my temp in and then I was like, oh, wow look at that!
I figure this week I'm fertile. That's that. BD any time this week could result in a pg. I keep trying to look at it from a CTA standpoint, rather than a TTC standpoint. I think this might help you, as well. I've gotten it out of my mind that I "have to bd the day before O" or else I "won't get pg" -- b/c it's not the case. DD was O-2 for crying out loud! So back off the chart, put your temp in, and slowly back away!

I think it's really going to help me this cycle to confirm O and stop temping. I always said I wanted the full chart for posterity, but come on, is it really worth the stress?? Who is really going to care if I have all my temps??

And I'm also OK with the fact that FF might not give me correct CH's b/c I'm missing yesterdays temp. It's ok. It's just software. My body is what's really important and I'm seriously not going to flip out if things are a day off or something. It's just too, too much to deal with!

[MarineWife]

Katrina ~ Yay for a new cycle! Do you think you may have Oed last cycle or it was most likely anov?

I didn't miss the surge with the opks. I got a + yesterday morning. I guess a more precise question would have been if it's possible to O before the LH surge. It is possible my surge started sometime between the opk I used Wednesday afternoon and the one I used Thursday morning. I assume that's taken into account with the time range of when O can happen after the first + opk. In any event, my bd pattern is exactly the same as last cycle (assuming I did O yesterday) so getting pg is definitely possible. If I haven't Oed yet but do today, bd timing will be even better, imo.

It probably seems like I'm not doing a very good job at being "whatever" about this. Actually, in my own mind, I am. I'm not so worked about whether or not to dtd to get pg. I wanted to dtd last night because I wanted to. I was worked up about the whole girl sway thing.