Do you let your toddler throw food on the floor?

[femalephish]

Everytime I offer my daughter food she eats some but throws at least half on the floor for the dogs. Even when they aren't inside she throws it. If I take the food away, because I think she's done, she does the sign for 'more' pretty insistantly, and I bring the food back out and she goes back to eating some and throwing some. I don't want to take food away because she is eating but am I cementing bad table manors forever? How normal is this? Is it a phase she'll grow out of a phase I need to try to stop?
Thanks,
(typing while wrestling a toddler)

[The4OfUs]

I don't think it's so much a "let" them do it, but that it's so, so developmentally normal. Having said that, normal does not always equal appropriate, so what I always did was only give a couple bites at a time to them, and when they did toss, pick up the food and say, "Food stays on the table." Over, and over, and over again. Until the phase was over.

[penstamon]

DS is the same age and does the same thing so I am assuming it is pretty normal. I don't let the dogs in the kitchen while we eat so he does not have the temptation there. I have noticed that as he gets older that once he starts playing with his food and throwing it it generally means he is done eating. At that point I will try to feed him what is left myself instead of giving him free reign or else wrapping it up. He also loves to dump his water cup. I am soooo sick of cleaning the kitchen thoroughly after every.single.meal.

[shnitzel]

We don't have any dogs and DD does this anyways. I think it is completely normal but it is frustrating since I am sweeping/washing/wiping the floor constantly. I taught her how to say "all done" as one of her first words so she could tell me instead of flinging her food but it hasn't help much.

[Super~Single~Mama]

I wish I had some advice for you. BUT - I'm going to be following this thread since I need some help with this too! It's driving me bananas!!

BTW - I LOVE the name Josephine!!

[The4OfUs]

Originally Posted by penstamon

He also loves to dump his water cup. I am soooo sick of cleaning the kitchen thoroughly after every.single.meal.

This is also why in addition to only giving a bite or two in front of them at a time (and then modeling "more please"), we used closed/covered cups at the table until they were around 2. Eliminating opportunity is a huge technique at this age, IMO.

[AFWife]

Originally Posted by The4OfUs

This is also why in addition to only giving a bite or two in front of them at a time (and then modeling "more please"), we used closed/covered cups at the table until they were around 2. Eliminating opportunity is a huge technique at this age, IMO.

Exactly. We give small amount and then sips of water in the cup (NOT a full cup!) Once he throws food or pours water the meal is over...at least for a few mins.

[Mal85]

I don't "let" her, I guess. She drops quite a bit when she's feeding herself and that's okay. I can tell when she doing it by accident compared to when she's doing it on purpose. When she does it on purpose, that usually means she's done. When she's hungry, she's pretty serious about getting the food into her mouth. So, if she's throwing it, I assume she's done. Usually she doesn't fight that. When she does fight it, I just keep the plate by me for a minute or two, then give it back. If it continues, then I feed her. If she won't let me feed her, she's done.

[elmh23]

We only give one or two bites of food at a time during that phase. It is a phase, but that doesn't mean you can't correct her. She's just over one, so until she has a better understanding of what you say, one or two bites at a time works best.

Of course some food ends up on the floor anyway with just getting the food to their mouths and I don't worry about that. I must say, with just that and three children who do it (ages 5, 3 and 6 months) my dogs are well fed!

[lifeguard]

As soon as ds starts throwing we say 'i guess you're done eating' & take it away. If he wants it back he gets it back but if it's thrown again we take it away again. It took quite a bit of repitition of this but he generally no longer throws his food.

[crunchy_mommy]

We just give a piece or two of food at a time. It drives me insanely crazy, I can't stand messes, and the food on the floor is the only mess DS WON'T help me clean up. We also either use a closed water bottle or an open cup with just a sip or two of water at a time. I actually think DS gets overwhelmed or over-excited when there is a lot of food/water in front of him so that's why he starts tossing it.

[luv-my-boys]

Originally Posted by The4OfUs

I don't think it's so much a "let" them do it, but that it's so, so developmentally normal. Having said that, normal does not always equal appropriate, so what I always did was only give a couple bites at a time to them, and when they did toss, pick up the food and say, "Food stays on the table." Over, and over, and over again. Until the phase was over.

totally agree with THE4OFUS totally normal but still I correct them. Every. single.one. of my kids did this. I would simply say "no thowing/dropping/tossing/feeding dogs" and remove the food. I also limited the amt of any given food on their plate/bowl at one time so instead of having a whole bowl of pasta on the floor I only had 2-3 pieces, kwim? its a messy stage for sure!

[Skippy918]

DS does this. But he'll continue to eat after throwing food on the floor. He tends to throw when you give him something and he doesn't want it. He'll either give it back to me or throw it. Sometimes I think it's more of an insult to him when you break him off a piece of something as opposed to giving him the whole thing. He's also more interested in drinking from an open cup, but he keeps putting his food in the cup, so we're teaching him that food does not go in your cup of water.

[Novus]

We usually only give him 1-2 pieces of food at a time and either do closed straw cups or I help him hold his open cup. Also, he usually throws when he's done with a meal--he'll say "All done" and if I don't respond fast enough, he'll throw whatever is left on the tray. We're trying to get him to hand me the pieces when he's done, which sometimes works & sometimes doesn't.

[j_p_i]

My DD is 15 months and does this, actually has for a little while. It is my DH's biggest pet peeve, so I've tried a number of different techniques to get food to stay on her tray. What seems to work the best is really really paying attention to her (hard to do while eating your own dinner, admittedly) and only giving her a little bit at a time as others have mentioned. She can be finicky and if I give her something she doesn't like or want, she wants ALL of it off her tray We do have a dog and sometimes I think she does it because it gets a reaction (the dog runs to the table, or my DH gets frustrated... I don't think she understands that it's a negative reaction yet). So I try to remain super calm and act like it's not interesting... If she continues I tell her food stays on the table and it goes in our mouths only, not on the floor. She's learned to hand me food she doesn't want rather than throw it most of the time... so we're getting there

[Latte Mama]

Oh this is so irritating isn't it? Toddlers, sigh. DS did this up until recently. He stopped because he hates the vacuum and I had to vacuum every time he'd throw rice or little food pieces all over the place. So that got him to stop.

[EdnaMarie]

Well, I can't really stop her from doing it the first time, but after that, we say, "EAT your food. Eat. Do not play." If she throws a lot on the ground, we will take the plate and say, "All done". She can have it back if she asks, but if she throws food again, she loses the plate again for about a minute or until she asks. We don't get upset as we know it's normal but we also can't have that much food on the floor. Considering how much she drops, she would waste a good 10th of our food budget if we let her play at the table in addition.

[tallulahma]

is this more common with high chairs?

i just honestly cant think of a time when ive seen my kids just start tossing around food or cups.

I have to clean the floor after every meal because of accidental crumbs or spills and such...

except if it was a large wasting of food` id be upset.

but we all eat together at the table, so i would notice before they started throwing things that they were bored/done.

nak

[Llyra]

Some dropping is inevitable, as they learn about how to eat neatly- that takes time and patience and gentle reminders. I do start including them in the cleanup process, around the time they start to walk-- asking them to pick up a bit and put it back on a napkin, making a game out of it.

Mine are older now, and still I usually need to sweep after every meal. My 6 year old is just starting to get so she can be depended on to keep her clothes and the floor clean, but my 3 1/2 year olds still drop a lot, even when they're trying to be neat.

But when they start flinging on purpose, that's different. Sometimes they throw something they don't want-- in that case, I'd want to start gently teaching how to set something aside. I'd even provide a little extra bowl to put unwanted items in. My DD1 used to use the cup holder on the high chair tray for her discards. Sometimes they're really just not hungry, and they're playing, and that's fine, but food is not a toy, so I'll take the food and offer something else instead, or get them down and send them on their way. And finally, sometimes they've worked out that flinging gets them a reaction, and they're doing it because they enjoy seeing you react. In that case, I'd just quietly put the child down from the table, or take the food, and try not to comment or react AT ALL.

[karika]

babies this age are not able to learn any 'rules' IMO. Children developmentally are not ready for 'rules' (if you choose to have any) until age 3 or so. So taking food away is only going to 'teach' them that mommy or daddy took the food away, they cannot put it together yet that it is a consequence.

I know people say it is good to let them play with their food. But for us, it is just too expensive to do that. I do not use any sort of 'feeding chair' I have a plate of food for me and dd2. i am sitting on couch (we don't have a kitchen table right now, will probably bring it back out when dd2 is a little older. I let them crawl on things, but the kitchen table is on a hard surface floor and I didn't want her crawling on it, so we took it down for now, plus it gives much more room in our tiny house for playing) She walks over and gets a bite. Either from my eating utensil which I hold or she and I hold it together. If it is something she can pick up with her hand, she may pick up a piece instead. She walks around eating it, or stands there and eats, or sits beside me and eats.

When I want her to self feed, I use a blanket on the floor. I ask her if she wants to eat on her food blanket, and if so she nods yes. I put it down (it is a baby blanket, like 3x3) and put the food in a bowl (and utensil if applicable) in the middle. She eats raisins this way (now she is older at 20 months), frozen blueberries or cherries occasionally (she uses a toothpick for these sometimes)when it is wash day for the blanket, since i know she will make a bit of a mess, carrots or broc.... most anything I let her self feed. I do not let her self feed the coconut yogurt or anything real expensive like I say.

There are issues with eating this way, like if she doesn't like it and spits it out, it lands on floor, or if she gets messy hands and runs around touching stuff... but I really do not like the idea of any of the devices you strap a child into, it just freaks me out somehow. Both of my girls have eaten while walking around as babies, or on a blanket.

My suggestion is to try putting the child on a blanket on the floor. Any time a child is eating, I think a dog should not be in the home, or locked in another room. I put mine out in the backyard or in a bedroom. Maybe if the child is not up high, throwing things to the ground will cease to be amazing.