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Have u pierced ur toddler's ears?

post #1 of 27
Thread Starter 
My 3.5 yo wants earrings like her baby cousins. I told her that first she'll need holes in her ears and she says she is ready for it. What should I expect? She does understand there is going to be some pain involved. But, don't they use some chemical to kill the pain? What kind of earrings did you go for? Her cousin's looks like diamonds. Wouldn't diamond a little heavy. I have diamond earrings and the stems are so thick I could never wear them for too long. They are set in platinum.

Tia
post #2 of 27
No way. Kids that young are too little to make a decision about something permanent and body altering. Not to mention the upkeep those first few months. I waited until my oldest was 7 and could take care of them. I had mine pierced as an infant and would never do that to my kids. I can't imagine trusting a 3.5 year old to take care of them or know what the pain would be. That's too abstract for them to imagine.

My little girls have cute clip on earrings we got at the mall. They love them and they can change them out whenever. No complaints so far.
post #3 of 27
No. My girls are too little to help take care of earings and their bodies are still growing.

Your child will ask for LOTS of things that others have. This is just the beginning. Be prepared!
post #4 of 27
My dd is not a toddler yet, but I plan to buy stick-on or clip-on earrings when (if) she asks. There are tons of choices and I'm sure she'll like them.
If she keeps asking for holes in her ears beyond the preschool age, I'll let her.
post #5 of 27
No I wouldn't pierce a toddler's ears. And they don't usually put any chemicals on to stop the pain as far as I know.
post #6 of 27
Thread Starter 
sorry, I am ignorant on this issue. I didn't get what it would mean "to take care of them." Does that mean, not lose it or like put it into her mouth or something on those lines? If so, I wonder how that compares with parents letting newborn's ears be pierced. They seem to be screwed on tight and they can't get to open them. I had it done when I was 6 and I could not take care of them in the sense, I would lose them and stuff like that unitl I was probably past my teenage yrs.
post #7 of 27
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by kittywitty View Post
No way. Kids that young are too little to make a decision about something permanent and body altering. Not to mention the upkeep those first few months. I waited until my oldest was 7 and could take care of them. I had mine pierced as an infant and would never do that to my kids. I can't imagine trusting a 3.5 year old to take care of them or know what the pain would be. That's too abstract for them to imagine.
Thanks, yes, she won't be able to imagine the real pain. I totally get it that it is body altering and she needs to be older. I thought I'd let her decide when she wants it not realizing that she might be too young to make that decision.
post #8 of 27
Taking care of them involves keeping the wound clean while it heals. For example, I wasn't allowed to get my ears pierced until I was 8yo (for reference, my mother didn't have pierced ears until age 18 and her mother never had them pierced). My sister was 5.5/6yo at the time. I squirted the cleaner on my lobes and remembered to twist the studs. My sister did not. Within a couple of weeks, she woke up one morning with huge globs of crusty scabs that covered the entire front and most of the backs of her earrings. My mother had to literally rip off scabs to get the studs out of her ears. That's what you want to avoid.

I am opposed to piercing ears in a child too young to ask for them, but I feel that once the child starts asking, you can make it a goal you work toward. Can your dd be trusted to keep choking hazards out of her mouth? Any chance she might shove something small up her nostrils? No? Then give her some cheap clip-ons and see if she loses them. In 6 months or a year, you can give her a little squirt bottle of water and instruct her to douse her lobes each day. Show her kid-appropriate videos of children getting pierced, so she can see that it does hurt.

Maybe in a year she will be ready. Maybe in a year, she will be past the phase of wanting to be pierced, but start asking again at a later date. Whenever you decide she seems ready, take her to a professional piercer, not Claire's in the mall. The will do a better job and are way more sanitary.
post #9 of 27
I refuse to get DD's ears pierced until she can take care of them on her own. When she wants them and i think she can handle cleaning, twisting the posts and all the other stuff that comes with it we'll talk. Until then no way at all.
post #10 of 27
My DD is almost 2, so this is not an issue for us yet (as we wouldn't do it unless she wanted and asked for it). However, My mom allowed me to get mine pierced when I was 4 (so just a bit older than your DD). I asked and she agreed. I still remember the experience and it was a positive one for me. It hurt, but not too bad and I was just so proud. While I couldn't have been expected to take care of them independently my mom did work with me on taking care of them, prompting me, helping me if I didn't wipe them well, etc. I think it encouraged a sense of responsibility in me b/c I was aware that I needed to take care of them-she didn't just do it for me. If you are willing to help her take care of them and she really wants it I say go for it. How does your DD handle pain. Is it something she moves through or is it more traumatizing? My DD is rather impervious to pain and just moves on. However her cousin, who's a couple of months younger, reacts more strongly and it can inhibit her and has a stronger impact at this stage of her life. If she could deal with the pain and feel good about it, it might be a positive experience for her. I also like the previous poster's idea of working towards it with videos, practice cleaning, etc.
post #11 of 27
My mother took me to get mine done at 5 after I had been asking for a solid year. Unfortunately at the time we didn't know I was allergic to the metal that they used to make the earrings and I had a HORRIBLE time recovering and had infections from it for months afterwards. Even though I did everything I was suppose (even more since the doctor suggested flushing the holes with hydrogen proxide 4 times a day) it it was bad
My daughter is 3 1/2 as well and has been asking for her ears to be done. I debated it and decided against it, shes a very active child and I worry that she doesn't get how much upkeep their is and how clean shes going to need to keep them. When she gets around 5 if she still wants them we will reevaluate.
post #12 of 27
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lilygoose View Post
My DD is almost 2, so this is not an issue for us yet (as we wouldn't do it unless she wanted and asked for it). However, My mom allowed me to get mine pierced when I was 4 (so just a bit older than your DD). I asked and she agreed. I still remember the experience and it was a positive one for me. It hurt, but not too bad and I was just so proud. While I couldn't have been expected to take care of them independently my mom did work with me on taking care of them, prompting me, helping me if I didn't wipe them well, etc. I think it encouraged a sense of responsibility in me b/c I was aware that I needed to take care of them-she didn't just do it for me. If you are willing to help her take care of them and she really wants it I say go for it. How does your DD handle pain. Is it something she moves through or is it more traumatizing? My DD is rather impervious to pain and just moves on. However her cousin, who's a couple of months younger, reacts more strongly and it can inhibit her and has a stronger impact at this stage of her life. If she could deal with the pain and feel good about it, it might be a positive experience for her. I also like the previous poster's idea of working towards it with videos, practice cleaning, etc.
I agree with this.

I also had my ears pierced as an infant (2 weeks old) and feel perfectly fine about the decision. I figure that nearly EVERY woman wants their ears pierced in the end and it doesn't really matter much what age it happens. I would probably take my DD to get her ears pierced at 3.5 if she asked. One of the PP said that she thinks 3.5 is too young to make body altering decisions, but 7 is okay? I honestly don't think age matters that much.
post #13 of 27
See if you can watch a few other babies and little ones get pierced. That should do it. Mine won't be asking to pierce anything for a long time after all the questions at the mall about "why did that mom hurt that baby with that thing?" etc.. (her perception---no judgement)
post #14 of 27
Quote:
Originally Posted by Abraisme View Post
I agree with this.

I also had my ears pierced as an infant (2 weeks old) and feel perfectly fine about the decision. I figure that nearly EVERY woman wants their ears pierced in the end and it doesn't really matter much what age it happens. I would probably take my DD to get her ears pierced at 3.5 if she asked. One of the PP said that she thinks 3.5 is too young to make body altering decisions, but 7 is okay? I honestly don't think age matters that much.
At 7, my daughter was old enough to take responsibility for cleaning it regularly and alerting me to any discharge or infection. My ex-MIL does piercings professionally and would never do them under age 7. There is a huge difference in maturity and responsibility from ages 3-7.

And it does matter what age. Why would you inflict unnecessary pain for something cosmetic on someone unable to decide for themselves? I know tons of women who dislike their ear piercings done to them as infants and children. It is a permanent hole in the body and a lot of people end up with infections or reactions to the metal. Just so it "looks pretty". If the kid asks for it and is mature enough to understand the procedure, risks, and responsibility in it, then that is one thing. But stabbing a hole through someone who is not capable of that decision is another.

OP-can you have her go watch piercings in person? The guns are by far the least desirable method of piercing, but you can see them often at the mall. My oldest decided to wait for quite awhile after watching one at the mall. We lived too far from her grandma to watch her in the shop do them professionally (at the time).
post #15 of 27
I am opposed to the idea of infants getting their ears pierced. The idea of causing my daughter pain simply because it looks cute is beyond me.

That said, when she is old enough to ask and understands that it will hurt (we vaccinate and I will probably tell her it hurts like when she has a shot), then I will do it.

I had mine done when I was 5, after having reconstructive surgery on my eardrum. My ENT did it as a reward for "being brave". He did it in his office with a sterilized straight pin and some iodine. I didn't cry and remember sticking my tongue out at my older brother when he told me it was ok to cry.

And they probably aren't diamonds you're seeing.
post #16 of 27
I agree with most of the posts already. My dd got hers pierced when she was 6 and is able to change her own earrings and be responsible for them. I think 6 or older is a great age if they are really wanting it. Earrings on a 3 year old are cute, but I wouldn't want the added responsibility of cleaning them and changing them or worrying about them getting infected, etc. Just seems like a headache to me...no need to add extra worry and work!
post #17 of 27
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by mlh View Post
I agree with most of the posts already. My dd got hers pierced when she was 6 and is able to change her own earrings and be responsible for them. I think 6 or older is a great age if they are really wanting it. Earrings on a 3 year old are cute, but I wouldn't want the added responsibility of cleaning them and changing them or worrying about them getting infected, etc. Just seems like a headache to me...no need to add extra worry and work!
I could have written this exact same post. Just don't want the extra headache and I have decided to not let her see other little girls getting pierced. It may not be all that bad when she eventually gets it done so don't want to make her feel negative about it already or maybe I'll prepare her then. Mine had gone real smooth. Actually, don't really remember too much of it which to me means it wasn't a neg. experience.

Thanks.
post #18 of 27
I wouldn't do it at 3 1/2. I would consider it probably around age 6 or 7, at the earliest. My main reasoning would be the pain involved, especially afterward, when they'll be sore. I also think of the trouble of keeping them clean as they heal, and the possibility of painful infection. Finally, often as children grow, the relative positioning of the piercing changes, so that the child ends up with the holes in an awkward place on the ear.

My 3.5 year olds have enough problems with crankiness and tantrums as it is, just from being 3. Adding sore ears for a week or even more seems to be like asking for trouble, especially in a child who would likely be content with clip-on earrings.

I am opposed to infant ear piercing. I don't believe in inflicting pain for cosmetic reasons in an individual unable to consent.
post #19 of 27
my 3.5 yo could care less about ear piercings... i don't even think she notices her cousins.

i had mine done as an infant and i never wear earrings. every kind hurts my ears and leaves them all sore and red. not worth it imo.
post #20 of 27
It is common in my culture to get it done when the baby is a few weeks old, I had mine done when I was two or so weeks old. My father witnessed it and said never again. He refuses to let my pierce Kate's ears until she is old enough to make her own decision about it, is able to understand pain, and can take care of them.

Not that I would do it now anyways because I am not ok with it, but my husband and I both agree that it wont happen until she is old enough to "get" what is going on.
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