Starting over and hating it

[newbymom05]

DS1 is in full time kindy now, so it's just me and the 2 y/o. We were in a homeschooling playgroup that we joined when DS1 was 2, but of course now DS1 is in school, all those kids are also 5+ and there isn't much for the 2 y/o and he's going nuts, and my mom friends are gone/busy . I mean, I can go to park days, but I can't very well have play dates w/ a 5+ and my 2 y/o, you know? I realize now the playdates were for me just as much as the kids, so I'm going to have to start all. over. again. meeting new moms, seeing if the kids click, if the families click, etc etc. Ugh!!!!! It took me 2 yrs to get a great group of kids and friends, and now I feel like I did when it was just me and baby DS1--lonely, bored, isolated.

I'm usually upbeat in these kinds of threads, oh, join Meetup, google playgroups, blah blah blah but it's a lot easier to give/hear that advice when you already have the network in place.

[maddymama]

Hi Mama,
That sounds incredibly frustrating for you. One of the things that we are doing is scheduling a playdate one afternoon a week for her playdate group..... that way I still get to see all of my/ our old friends, even though all the kiddos are at different schools all over town.
I will still be meeting a ton of new friends over the course of the year at the library storytimes, etc., but I think keeping up with our old group is making it easier on me/relieving the pressure to make all new friends.
Good luck!
~maddymama

[oliversmum2000]

What about seeing if any of your sons school friends have younger siblings that your other child could play with, that way they could both have a friend.

[MCsMom]

I'm sorry. I kind of feel like I am in sort of the same boat. But at least my oldest is in K 3 days a week, and her school does not go up to 1st, so we are still considering homeschooling and there are a few days that she is home all day to do things with the group.

[sunflower.mama]

How does your older child get to kindy? Strange question, but last year my oldest was in K and we walked/drove him to school and I met a lot of moms at the school that way, including ones with younger kids. I would have felt much less of a community connection if he had taken the bus to school, and I wouldn't have known what I was missing. A lot of kids play on the school playground after school too and the moms talk. Even if your child takes the bus perhaps you could pick up a few days a week?

[Learning_Mum]

I am in exactly the same boat!! I have a 2yo and my oldest has just turned 5yo and started school! Our days used to be busy but now it kind of feels like I've got so. much. time! I totally don't get why I used to think that having one was hard! It seems like I've got more time than I know what to do with!

I have found a few local things to do. Playgroups, music classes (not real music classes but those ones where you basically go sing songs and the kids dance and stuff), story time at the library etc. DS1 only started at school last week so we haven't really had a chance to DO any of these things yet, but I think that's what I'm going to have to do. Get out to things that DS2 will enjoy and meet more Mum's with babies the same age.

I'm actually quite excited about it to be honest. DS2 has always just been dragged along to whatever I need to do with DS1 and he never got the same time that DS1 did where we would just play and do crafts and read stories and do things that were age appropriate for HIM. I'm looking forward to being able to provide that kind of stuff for him and help him grow and develop. Maybe a shift of thinking would help?

[newbymom05]

Thanks, all, for the advice. Believe me, I was looking forward to finally giving the 2 y/o his own age-appropriate activities, and he's really enjoying his 1-on-1 mommy time. It's just that like I said, it's a PIA finding a new groove, finding new classes, etc. "Hating it" is probably too strong/dramatic, I just wanted to whine a little.