Please make me feel okay about this. UPDATED!!!!

[momtoS]

I have been a SAHM for 6 years. I get very little help. I have an almost 6 year old and a 3 year old and a baby on the way. My 6 year old has special needs, and has been quite a handful. I do ALL the housework and ALL appointments, lessons, cooking, cleaning etc.

I am so sick and exhausted this pregnancy, and it was a surprise so I have a tonne of stuff to do.

So...I found I program, preschool that has an opening two mornings a week. 9:15am-1pm. They provide a snack and a lunch. They have a curriculum. They have 2 teachers for a max of 16 children.

I would really love the break before the baby comes and even after the baby.

I would use this time to clean house, cook, clean, appointments etc.....and spend the rest of the week enjoying my kids....

Any feedback?

[greenmansions]

UH, JUST DO IT. You will not regret it at all. You and your needs are important too.

[jeanine123]

Assuming it's a good fit for your son it sounds like a great way for you to recharge your batteries while your LO is having fun with others. My 4 year old starts pre-school next week and I can't tell which one of us is more excited. I love my kids but after a summer of bickering between the two boys and 3 weeks of solo time where he's been talking my ear off from the time he gets up till he goes to bed I'm ready for a break.

[kathteach]

Absolutely you should feel okay!! Absolutely!!!

My son has special needs as well. I budgeted and after summer school ended I put him and his brother in "camp" for two weeks. In my area little day camp programs like cooking camp and theatre camp and gym camp and all that are all the rage during school breaks. I justified the expense because my son could get experience with non-special needs kids, but really it was about me needing a break.

It was the best thing ever. And the happiness really spilled over to the kids. I think they were much happier with a well-rested mom. Do it! Especially as a mom to a child with special needs, YOU need time to rest, recover, all that. You absolutely need that.

And please, at least for awhile, spend that time on things to make you feel good: reading, watching tv, whatever...you can get to the cleaning later.

You will see you and your body will thank you!

Please keep us updated.

[chaoticzenmom]

I'm wondering why you wouldn't feel ok with it? It seems like a good thing, not a "feel guilty" kind of thing. Is it the money you may spend? If you're feeling guilty about sending your kid to a fun pre-school thing 2 mornings a week...don't. I homeschool and sometimes feel guilty for NOT sending my pre-schoolers to preschool Really, guilt can be placed anywhere you want it...don't bother with it.

[limabean]

Why wouldn't you feel okay about that? You don't need to justify it or qualify it with a bunch of reasons why it's only due to extreme circumstances that you would even consider this. It's fine for anyone to choose to send their kid to preschool, for whatever reason.

[nola79]

Sounds good to me. Go for it!

[mamarin]

Oh mama I totally get the guilt feeling, but as others have said, you don't need to feel it. I think the decision you're leaning toward is the right one for everyone involved. You don't want to be running yourself into the ground with a bebe on the way! Also, I don't know what special needs your son has but before I had my second child I worked as a liaison childcare worker, working to integrate special needs kids into mainstream care, and I could tell you a hundred positive aspects the kids got out of it. Best of luck.

[NightOwlwithowlet]

We home school and I have one son, 8 yo. He goes to an after school program 3 days a week from 2 to 6pm. Sometimes I work those hours, but sometimes I just go out to lunch with DH, go out with friends, do the shopping, or go to the doctor's. He is safe and happy and I stay sane,e specially when DH is out of the country for five or six weeks at a time.

Send your son if it's a good match. To quote DH, "If mama isn't happy, no one's happt."

[pauletoy]

I would look at it as a gift to yourself. As a matter of fact my 2 youngest start MDO/Preschool on Tuesday. It is just a couple of mornings a week 9-1pm. I am going to miss them like crazy. Do I feel guilty? Heck no!!!!

A few hours of quiet for the next however many months will do you a world of good. Go for it!

PS. I would would spend the time resting not running around cleaning or running errands.....but that's just me!

[Learning_Mum]

OMG YES! Do it! DS1 just turned 5yo and started school this week. I can not tell you how much more patience I have! Even though I still have one with me while he's at school it's a BREAK, ya know?!

Before he started school he was at kindy for six months, for five mornings a week. Even that was great. They get to a point where they seem to need more stimulation and activity than you can provide (or at least more than I can provide) so it really is best for everyone. Also, DS1 looooooved kindy! He'd want to go on the weekends. Every morning for six months he'd ask me if it was kindy today and very time I said yes he said YAY!!!!!

I am one of the people on here though that think it's OK for a mother to spend time away from her children. I just can not be 'on' all the time. I literally go nuts.

[MisaGoat]

Sounds like a good fit for you and your child.

It is really only a few hours a week and my son LOVED preschool (his last day was Friday now he moves up to pre-K). He had an exciting day, had his friends, came home and talked about his teachers, what he learned, who he played with and was more content at home because he wasn't just hanging around with me all day.

What are your concerns about the program? That you would be sending your child to school? That it costs money?

[alexsam]

Can I tell you, I had the same hesitations about starting schools and the likes with my first (very intesnse) son and I found... It really, really helped me be a better mom. The couple hours a week that we were apart and he was in a good place that he really connected with and was safe and happy and I was able to regroup and recharge and take a step back totally, totally improved our relationship. Here I was thinking I was somehow selling out or shirking my mom responsibilities and what it really did was make me so much better at it and he got the chance to do and learn things I could never have done.

Unless there is something we are missing here, I'm with the rest. You have to put your own oxygen mask on first and then help those next to you.

[Norasmomma]

Yes for sure. I would have loved that when I was pg with DS, DD made my pregnancy so much harder at times, and it was a fairly rough one. I have support, but I would have used the time for sleeping.

[lilyka]

Enjoy every minute of it. I bet he will!! And forget house work. Take a nap, do your nails, eat a bon bon.

Ok if he hates it rethink thing but most kids LOVE this sort of thing and we were not meant to do all of this on our own. Carry this burden alone. It is ok to get help. It is ok to let our kids go to school and social programs. My kids adore school. Looking back I totally should have had them in a mothers day out program or something. They would have loved it. It really is ok to do what is best for your family. And it sounds like this is a great opportunity for everyone.

[momtoS]

Well we went on a tour of the preschool. DD2 loved it...she went right away and played with the kids outside. She stayed to eat with them. She was really happy.

So...she will go two mornings a week...starting next week. 3. 75 twice a week.

I have to get my vaccine exemption form...the lady kept saying that all kids had to be up to date. But I am delaying.....but I know the form that allows me to get her in anyways....

[EviesMom]

I'm a homeschooler and I'm still super excited that DS is starting preschool next week. He's a ball of energy and it's very hard to homeschool at the level that DD really thrives on, with structure and schedule, with him running about. It will be great for him, great for DD, and great for me. I say go for it!