Am I weird for thinking this was a bad idea? - Page 2

[confustication]

I don't think I would want a preemie on oxygen at an indoor pool- because of the humidity and the concentrated chlorine, but at an outdoor pool on a not-too humid day- maybe? It would really depend on exactly what was going on with the baby at that point in time.

[AbbieB]

The last thing mothers of kids with special needs need is judgment.

I can totally see why you might raise your eyebrows seeing a tiny baby on oxygen poolside, but without knowing all of the background story, it's completely unfair to assume this mom was somehow making a bad choice.

[rightkindofme]

I didn't have a strong opinion at the start of this thread but I'm really grateful to the people who are giving reasons why it is a very reasonable thing to do. Thank you for educating me.

[cschick]

Originally Posted by rightkindofme

I didn't have a strong opinion at the start of this thread but I'm really grateful to the people who are giving reasons why it is a very reasonable thing to do. Thank you for educating me.

With my extended family having been through a lot of bizarre medical issues over the course of my life--there's a reason why much medical equipment that will be used for an extended period of time is made as portable as possible (o2 tanks being among those things--you can put them on pull-able carts, integrate them into wheelchairs, etc).

It's because it's healthier to allow a life to continue as normally as possible, accommodating the medical issues as best you can, than being isolated and stuck at home. Even here, for the babe, definitely for the mother and father.

[Latte Mama]

Originally Posted by AbbieB

The last thing mothers of kids with special needs need is judgment.

I can totally see why you might raise your eyebrows seeing a tiny baby on oxygen poolside, but without knowing all of the background story, it's completely unfair to assume this mom was somehow making a bad choice.

I was unfair then, shoot me . I think I did explain that I come from a medical background and tend to first look at things with that point of view. I didn't think of a scenario where a baby could possibly be dying etc.
I certainly didn't look at the family in any way that was weird. I just glanced at the teeny tiny baby and saw the nasal cannula and thought to myself that I hope the child is not having too much difficulty breathing. Hot, humid weather does make it harder. That factor + preemie lungs + oxygen required = a question in MY mind. Obviously everyone has their own opinions which is great.

[Cascadian]

I know that *I* wouldn't do that with a preemie (public pools also creep me out...the chlorine...the screaming...the warts...ew; I'd likely go to a library or a mall or a park if I needed to get out)

BUT

I really don't care what others do, because it's not about MY kids. I'd act in different ways, but I'm sure that some of my own activities would draw criticisms from others.

[sapphire_chan]

I thought little tiny babies needed warmth? Maybe they've had to keep their house at 85 and wanted a chance to actually enjoy the heat? Honestly, I probably would've offended them by asking about that out of curiosity because they would've thought I was being passive aggressive and not genuinely interested.

Oxygen is for lung development right? Not because of a suppressed immune system or something?

Back when, someone had a lung problem, they were either rich and told to go to Egypt or the like, or they were poor and stayed in cold and damp and got worse and died.

ETA: Ah, I see later that you've clarified that it was a humid day. So possibility two, the oxygen is only for when they're out in the humidity and isn't needed in AC at all. And they were given it specifically so they could get outside in your area despite the sweltering summer this has been, because spending all your time in recycled air creates all sorts of other problems.

[SilverFish]

i probably would. depends i guess on the circumstances, and my preemie didn't need any kind of long-term assistance, so i can't really say for myself.

however, after having been at the hospital non-stop after my daughter was born, my husband and i left her in the NICU and went and had a really lovely dinner and some drinks. i'm sure if anyone had known we had a weeks old baby in the NICU they might have glanced askance at our beers and chocolate cake, but we needed a break and to feel normal, even if just for a couple of hours. objectively, maybe my time would have been better spent at her bedside, but i needed it.

anyway, my point is that sometimes you have to weigh positives and negatives... maybe it would be better health-wise for a little baby on oxygen to be in a less exposed environment, but for the emotional health of the rest of the family, getting out for a bit was probably a bigger positive.

[marybethorama]

Originally Posted by alexsam

I dunno, guys... Having sick babies and being home/in the hospital all the time can be really, really stressful. Little things that we take for granted (like a meal out or a trip to an outdoor pool) can be enormously important to people's emotional health, especially under such huge stress. Unless y'all are doctors, I think we should reserve judgement...

I agree.

[azgirl]

Originally Posted by alexsam

I dunno, guys... Having sick babies and being home/in the hospital all the time can be really, really stressful. Little things that we take for granted (like a meal out or a trip to an outdoor pool) can be enormously important to people's emotional health, especially under such huge stress. Unless y'all are doctors, I think we should reserve judgement...

This. And as a mama who's micropreemie was on O2 for 8 months and had a severely compromised immune system, this mama's choice of outing exactly followed my Drs recommended outing: outdoor space, not during RSV season; the pulmonologists exact words were "a park or a pool" and he didn't add "when it's cooler". Around here if it's not RSV season it is hot. There pretty much are ZERO days that is is under 90 and not RSV season. In our NICU babies don't get to go home until they can regulate their body temp. The day we left it was 115 degrees and watching out for the heat was not a concern. I sat on our porch in the heat sometimes no problem (and I would have known, cuz we were hooked up to all those really fun monitors.) Of course, we don't even let our toddlers spend too long in the heat, but there wasn't special concern for our preemie. Oh, and I should add that we brought our babe home in August and we were too scared to go out but then we were completely quarantined from October through April. So, not only was that mom doing the "right thing" she also doesn't have much longer to have her baby around other people if she is following the stricter recommendations.

You aren't weird for thinking it's a bad idea, you just didn't know I think things are a bad idea all the time. You came here and asked and now you know!!

[gcgirl]

Originally Posted by alexsam

I dunno, guys... Having sick babies and being home/in the hospital all the time can be really, really stressful. Little things that we take for granted (like a meal out or a trip to an outdoor pool) can be enormously important to people's emotional health, especially under such huge stress. Unless y'all are doctors, I think we should reserve judgement...

Plus, we don't know if the baby has a limited lifespan. Maybe they're trying to live as normally as possible while awaiting the inevitable. WE DON'T KNOW.

[Kidzaplenty]

I would have taken my daughter to the pool, and did several times. Special needs families need breaks from "normal" too. I would have never thought twice about seeing a tiny baby on O2 at the pool.

[StephandOwen]

Originally Posted by alexsam

I dunno, guys... Having sick babies and being home/in the hospital all the time can be really, really stressful. Little things that we take for granted (like a meal out or a trip to an outdoor pool) can be enormously important to people's emotional health, especially under such huge stress. Unless y'all are doctors, I think we should reserve judgement...

[meemee]

Originally Posted by Latte Mama

I was unfair then, shoot me . I think I did explain that I come from a medical background and tend to first look at things with that point of view. I didn't think of a scenario where a baby could possibly be dying etc.
I certainly didn't look at the family in any way that was weird. I just glanced at the teeny tiny baby and saw the nasal cannula and thought to myself that I hope the child is not having too much difficulty breathing. Hot, humid weather does make it harder. That factor + preemie lungs + oxygen required = a question in MY mind. Obviously everyone has their own opinions which is great.

LM - i didnt assume your post meant you were being judgemental. i saw it as more about curiousity.

and when you later clarified about the humid weather on breathing that made more sense. showed your concern.

the thing is if i didnt have the experience of my friend with her preemie dd on oxygen i myself would have been more judgmental. (i am learning though a lot not to be one just based on what i 'see'). the replies here have given me examples of when this would have been ok.

i am sure the mom would understand if her dc is having trouble breathing. i have seen how it affects my xmil. so i would imagine the same signs would be there with the baby.