I feel like I’ve messed my kid up. His brother has some pretty significant issues health and developmental stuff as well (autism spectrum). For much of the year we’ve been pretty isolated from large group things due to avoiding things like flu that could seriously hurt his brother. We do a weekly playdate and have for the past year but that’s just one other family. He’s never done a group thing before.
So as he gets older (he's first grade) I felt he needs more socially. We signed up for cub scouts. And he’s lost. All the kids know each other from school and he’s an outsider essentially. And he’s never been on a playground to even know how to break in if that’s even possible. He told me tonight he likes the program part but there are too many kids when they go outside and they are all “strangers” and he doesn’t like that so much. The thing is this is a social and outgoing child who was really wanting to do more things. His dad who was with him told me that he was trying to join in with kids but was basically being ignored--not intentionally but just because the kids were playing with those they already know or at least that was his impression. And then I suspect they are playing ways he's not familiar with at all. Ugh. I feel like I’ve stunted him by not putting him in group stuff sooner so he could make connections when kids were initially forming them if that makes sense. I also wish he had just had more exposure to a wider variety of kids and situations. I’m regretting not sending him to preschool honestly. And then I’m wondering whether I’m doing the right thing for him from a social perspective homeschooling.
Thoughts?
So as he gets older (he's first grade) I felt he needs more socially. We signed up for cub scouts. And he’s lost. All the kids know each other from school and he’s an outsider essentially. And he’s never been on a playground to even know how to break in if that’s even possible. He told me tonight he likes the program part but there are too many kids when they go outside and they are all “strangers” and he doesn’t like that so much. The thing is this is a social and outgoing child who was really wanting to do more things. His dad who was with him told me that he was trying to join in with kids but was basically being ignored--not intentionally but just because the kids were playing with those they already know or at least that was his impression. And then I suspect they are playing ways he's not familiar with at all. Ugh. I feel like I’ve stunted him by not putting him in group stuff sooner so he could make connections when kids were initially forming them if that makes sense. I also wish he had just had more exposure to a wider variety of kids and situations. I’m regretting not sending him to preschool honestly. And then I’m wondering whether I’m doing the right thing for him from a social perspective homeschooling.
Thoughts?
Until DD1 was 6 we lived in a place where she had no children to play with. At 6 we moved, she made some attempts to make friends, but it was still very awkward for her. She would not have enjoyed group activities, was too shy to ask about game rules and so on. I also wondered if I screwed her up. It was very hard. She really wanted to have lots of friend, and it simply wasn't happening.
