Please Help! Hospital Supplemented with Formula, now WHAT???

[Lizbiz]

Hi Mamas,

I'm writing on behalf of a friend. Her situation is tough. She's just given birth (first baby) in a Chinese hospital. The doctors freaked out on day 2 and told her her baby was way too hungry and wasn't nursing well and they somehow convinced her to give formula three times a day. ARGH! Her baby hasn't been that interested in the breast from day one, and now is only more disinterested.

My friend VERY much wants to breastfeed, but she has very minimal support. She had a fairly smooth birth - unmedicated, but they did give her an episiotomy, from which she is healing well. Her baby's been really really fussy - crying all night and so forth. Very healthy looking babe - 8 pounds or more. Her situation is tough though - she's married to a great Chinese guy - whose parents are overwhelming them night and day and hover over her every time she breastfeeds giving her negative feedback and telling her to give formula. She refuses to stand up for herself; I admit I do not understand this because my personality is pretty different. But, I doubt this situation is going to change.

The doctors say the baby has a little jaundice (normal for being just a few days old, I think).

OK - so please help - how do we get this baby on the breast? Any resources/tips/ideas are welcome!!!

I've never been in this situation - mine pretty much latched on from the beginning and I didn't invite my parents (nor would they have come) in the first couple weeks (they live across country and love us to bits, but totally respect the need for parent/baby bonding). I also had homebirths so never had pressure from doctors.

Any help is most appreciated. She's coming home today. I think these next few days must be critical to try to get that baby nursing - I just don't know what to tell her.

Thanks,
Lizbiz

[lookatreestar]

id say first she needs to get rid of the parents/negativity and then go from there...

[JSerene]

Stop giving the formula via bottle and start giving it using SNS (supplemental nursing system). If the baby won't latch on to the breast because she's used to bottles, have mom use a nipple shield. A nipple shield and SNS can be used very effectively together; d/c SNS when the milk comes in and d/c the nipple shield when the baby is willing to latch without it.

[Lizbiz]

Thanks, but I don't think the situation with the inlaws is going to change because she is unwilling to confront them. That is her decision and I respect that. So, my question is, what else can she do?

As for the supplemental nursing system... ok - I'll look into getting that shipped to her asap. We're in Nanjing and not much available here. Her milk is already in. I'll also look for a nipple shield.

So, since her milk is already in - what now? Should she be pumping after she tries to breastfeed (from her reports - the baby latches on and sucks twice, then turns away) - should she discontinue formula altogether if she can pump milk and give it using at SNS?

What if it takes a while to get an SNS? Any other alternatives to a bottle here???

Please help - I really want to give this girl some ideas.

Thanks!

[ewe+lamb]

WOW your friend is lucky to have you . isn't it funny how as women giving birth we aren't capable to survive without bottles - it's amazing that we're all here really, your friend needs a boost to her confidence, her husband needs to tell her how proud he is of her, what a wonderful job she's doing, and how much he loves her, she can do this without the aid of artificial milk, her body knows exactly what it needs to do for her baby without being told otherwise, she can ask people to support her and her breastfeeding journey, to try and make contact with other mothers who breastfeed I'm sure there must be some!

Could she say very respectfully that her baby nurses better when she's by herself, is there any possibility that she can go into a different room to let the baby 'concentrate' on the task inhand - maybe difficult in hospital but certainly doable at home.

She could take a bath to reproduce that bonding re-birthing moment and entice baby back to the breast?

All chinese just want the best for their babies so maybe mentioning the health benefits to breastfeeding for both baby and mother would gain their support without the confrontation.

Do try and get an SNS or Lactaid for your friend, she should pump as much as she can and supplement with the breastmilk before introducing the formula, the breasts must be given the signal that there is a baby who needs to nurse, the saliva contact gives this hence using these breastfeeding aids rather than bottles. Make sure that the baby can stay with her as much as possible and not be taken away to the nursery, as much skin to skin contact as possible for both, open up the top she's wearing and leave baby in just a nappy if at all possible, baby should be left this way to absorb as much daylight as possible anyway for the slight jaundice, its the daylight that's imortant here not that baby is in direct sunlight. Swaddling for a baby like this is not the way to go, lots of daylight and skin to skin is very imortant just now.

Maybe you could get her a wrap to carry the baby around so that even if she needs to get up and move around she ould breastfeed on the move and stay skin to skin as must as possible.

Also if you are ordering an SNS you could also add in the new edition of the Womanly Art of Breastfeeding, there are LLL meetings on line on the international part of their website - I think there is even a copy of the WAB in chinese if she thinks that may be useful for the parents IL, this website www.biologicalnurturing.com is fantastic, get her away from the hospital as soon as possible and advise that she stays in bed to nurse nurse nurse for the first week at least and I'm sure her MIL will help with making different healthy meals - which will help baby and mother, there's lots of cultures who keep the mother and baby together for 40 days - you could maybe do some research to see if that is a tradition which was used in China at some point and mention this to the in-laws, I'm sure they don't mean to be unsupportive and maybe asking your friend's husband to mention that his wife really wants to do what is best for the baby and after careful research and consideration they both have decided that breastfeeding is the way to go for a healthy family, I'm sure he'll be able to find some supporting information in chinese to give to his parents - maybe get him to mention that the 'west' has now realised that the older customs of caring for and breastfeeding the baby is the way to go and that many families are rejecting the bottlefeeding aspect and embracing a more natural way to family life - if they are a traditional family then this may hit the note with them, personally my IL family, who is not Chinese however, their older traditions are much the same as elsewhere and they were delighted to see how I respected 'how they did things' rather than embrace the bottlefeeding culture.

Just a few ideas keep posting to let us know how things are going and if you need any other information. Maybe look up the WHO breastfeeding guidelines for the hospital ....

[PatioGardener]

Originally Posted by Lizbiz

As for the supplemental nursing system... ok - I'll look into getting that shipped to her asap. We're in Nanjing and not much available here.

nak

if they have a pediatric ward then they should have a 5-French feeding tube. that's all she needs to feed at the breast. example of what they look like here: http://www.utahmed.com/nutricath.htm

it will help to unwrap baby and put baby on mother's bare chest and cover both with a blanket.

also, if mom can pump or hand express after every feed (or every 2 h during day, every 3 at night) her milk will come in soon and she can giver her milk as supplement until baby latches well. that avoids the health risks of formula at least.

here are some good videos that may help. let me know if you can't access them. http://www.nbci.ca/index.php?option=...id=6&Itemid=13

[annettemarie]

Moving out to the main Breastfeeding forum

[texmati]

Originally Posted by Lizbiz

Thanks, but I don't think the situation with the inlaws is going to change because she is unwilling to confront them. That is her decision and I respect that. So, my question is, what else can she do?

I just wanted to pipe up and say that post birth is a really venerable time-- I actually packed up and moved to my mom's for a week or so because I needed the 24/7 support. Even a strong personality could have a tough time being assertive post partum.

If baby is doing ok medically, perhaps ditching the bottles all together? it's possible to use a small cup to supplement.