Anyway i have two wonderful children, who are happy and healthy, but I have always longed for more children. It has been about six years since I had my last baby, and my husband says he does not want anymore. He says we can't afford it and that is the reason, but he won't even give me the opportunity to see if we can re-work the budget. We have a nice savings and always have extra each month so I really dont understand, other than the fact that I think he just does not want more. This really makes me feel down, and every month when my monthly starts, Im in tears.
Last month we had a few slip ups, and I thought maybe one got away because I was not feeling well. I still have three more days till cycle start, and already cramping has begun. Im already in tears and it has not even started.
To make matters worse, I am surrounded by people who are all pregnant or just had a baby and planning the next. I can not go to anymore baby showers, because after each I spend two days crying. I am happy for them, but can't help feeling down because i will have no more. I am not coping well with this, and I want to explain to hubby, but I just don't think he will understand, how strong a desire to have more children can be. When I was in my twenties I thought I was done, but now being in my thirties, the feeling has become very strong. Sorry this post is so long, but I really needed to get it all out.
Thanks for reading!