HUGS! Ds#3 has been intense. He was emotionally laid back as a baby/early toddler, but we had some major life changes from just before he turned 2 until the past 6 months (moved 12 hours away from family, had a new baby, moved across town, my mom moved in, was diagnosed with cancer, and died, all within 2 yrs). He basically had earth shattering, ear splitting, make me want to run away and never come back tantrums every. single. day. for the better part of 2 years. At the height of it, he was doing it 6 or more times a day. Now, he's down to a couple of manageable crying spells a week. I really thought I was going to lose my mind, particularly when I was trying to take care of my mom while she was going through treatments, and definitely when she died. 
So, yes, there have been many days when I resented his behavior and didn't feel like being around him.
I think the important thing here is your sleep. The OT eval sounds like a great start, because his sleep pattern isn't normal for a 2.5 year old. His day time behavior is very likely a result of his night time activity. Check into melatonin (but do it carefully, it's not without risks), as this can work wonders for developing a sleep pattern.
I honestly don't think that preschool/daycare will help. Being away from my son didn't make me feel better about him, and I actually think it's a bit dangerous, connection wise, to separate ourselves from the people we're having problems with (short term health breaks don't count as separating) -- it doesn't cure the problem. Especially since this is largely an issue of sleep deprivation, being away from him during the day isn't going to make you feel better about being up all night with him. A mother's helper, though, could be a great plan, particularly if you use that time to rest/revamp.
This will pass, but I do think that you'll have to push yourself past the resentment a bit (I've had to) in order to avoid losing a connection with your son. Seeking more answers to the problem may help you to do this, and certainly getting some regular, short breaks will go a long way, too. Believe it or not, taking some time every day to do something out of the ordinary with just your son (a children's museum, the park, a walk in the neighborhood) can help you both reconnect. Ds#3 and I have periodic mommy/ds dates, and it always helps to remind me how wonderful and creative and beautiful he is.
So, yes, there have been many days when I resented his behavior and didn't feel like being around him.I think the important thing here is your sleep. The OT eval sounds like a great start, because his sleep pattern isn't normal for a 2.5 year old. His day time behavior is very likely a result of his night time activity. Check into melatonin (but do it carefully, it's not without risks), as this can work wonders for developing a sleep pattern.
I honestly don't think that preschool/daycare will help. Being away from my son didn't make me feel better about him, and I actually think it's a bit dangerous, connection wise, to separate ourselves from the people we're having problems with (short term health breaks don't count as separating) -- it doesn't cure the problem. Especially since this is largely an issue of sleep deprivation, being away from him during the day isn't going to make you feel better about being up all night with him. A mother's helper, though, could be a great plan, particularly if you use that time to rest/revamp.
This will pass, but I do think that you'll have to push yourself past the resentment a bit (I've had to) in order to avoid losing a connection with your son. Seeking more answers to the problem may help you to do this, and certainly getting some regular, short breaks will go a long way, too. Believe it or not, taking some time every day to do something out of the ordinary with just your son (a children's museum, the park, a walk in the neighborhood) can help you both reconnect. Ds#3 and I have periodic mommy/ds dates, and it always helps to remind me how wonderful and creative and beautiful he is.
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