Any work out of home full time moms of SN kiddos here?

[LROM]

I'm pregnant with dc2 and 1st trimester screen came back with very very high odds of Downs Syndrome. Me and DH work full time out of the home and for financial reasons, even when we have dc2 we will still have to.

I don't know any parents of SN kids who work out of the home full time, wondering if any of you are, what SN your child(ren) have, and what your experience has been like (who cares for them when they were babes, toddlers, what did you learn, any other advice?)?

I'm already a bit overwhelmed with DD1 who is not SN, and even if we have a 2nd child without SN DH is going to be working MORE than before so I'll be home alone with both kids eves and weekends about 3/4 of every week. The idea of that overwhelms me even more, and then the very possible presence of a SN sends me over the cliff of anxiety and "I don't think I can do this!"

So any one been in similar/same situation and work out of house full time as well as DP (or single moms)?

[Emmeline II]

Have you tried finding a DS mommy or support group? You may find childcare suggestions there.

[BookGoddess]

I do. I have a full-time job outside the home. So does DH.

My mom who is retired helps us out a lot. She's been incredibly helpful. My dad too, but more so my mom.

I certainly didn't expect to parent a child with SN (she's on the high functioning end of the autism spectrum), but that's life. Unexpected things happen. I now understand what a former teacher meant when she said "Life is what happens while you're busy making plans." I've heard people say "I don't know how you do it", but my response is "If you were in the same situation, you would because that would be your reality."

DD goes to preschool so that helps a lot. She has a fabulous teacher and a good school. My mom or dad pick her up from school and then about 3 hours later, either DH or I come home.

Your triple screen may be incorrect and you don't know for sure that you will have a child with SN. I know it's easier said than done, but try not to worry too much.

[2boyzmama]

I do. And it IS hard, I won't lie.

My son has a chromosome deletion with multiple system defects. The first year was especially hard, he was really sick.

My husband does not work full time, never has. He does go to school full time or near full time. A few times, when his class schedule wouldn't allow for night or online classes, we have hired an in-home nanny and my husband worked part time to pay for her. It takes a lot of training to get a regular ol' nanny off sitter city prepared to watch a SN child, but we couldn't afford anyone specially trained.

**However, we do have a childcare subsistence available to us through our state's Bureau for Children with Medical Handicaps (BCMH) that we have never used. There are LOTS of programs available for families with children with SN. Some we have utilized, some we have just back-pocketed in case we really truly need them in the future.

Even if your child does have Down Syndrome (which, even a 1-10 chance still means a 90% chance your child is healthy!!) you won't know until birth how medically complicated he/she will be. My son was medically complicated for the first year or year and a half, since then it hasn't been as hard (the biggest issue has been that he uses sign language, but that's not as big an issue since our older son is usually around to interpret for him)

My job is very flexible, which is a life saver. I have never missed a dr appt, my work gave me a laptop and is going to give me a Black Berry soon. I come in early, work late, work weekends, work from home, whatever I have to do to make up the hours and get my work done so I can be there for my son. It's a constant balancing act, but it works. Somehow.

[LROM]

Thanks for those ideas mommas. I **WISH** we had grandparents nearby who could help out, but part of being overwhelmed already with DD1 is that we have very little support and have been through so much transition (housing stuff) that it's been near impossible to find the time to build support.

2boyzmama, our odds for DS actually came back 1 in less than 4, so we're looking at 25%-33% odds of our child having it. I know, still 66%-75% possibility of not, but those odds are incredibly daunting. And it's the point you make about not being sure (if there is DS) how medically complicated the child will be that also makes me so concerned. My job is very very likely about to change, to more responsibility and less flexibility, which would be something I'd just have to go with given the economy right now and not even wanting to THINK about trying to find a new job while pregnant.

We'll wait for the amnio results and take it from there, but if we're positive for DS I'll definitely immediately seek out a DS support group locally. I really hope there is one, should be, I live in a pretty big city.

Thanks again for all of your thoughts.