My Baby is Driving Me NUTS!

[SeattleRain]

I have an adorable 8 week old who loves to give me sweet smiles and is generally a pretty mellow guy. Lately, however, he is really into being held a lot. I'm a WAHM, and the back to school season is my "back to work" season, so I've have a LOT to get done around the house, so I've been trying to make everyone happy by trying to wear him alot. He usually LOVES the ring sling (I wear him in a cuddle hold), but he's been screaming bloody murder everytime I put him in. I went out and bought a Moby wrap to see if that was better. The first day he slept in in for 4 hours (!!!) and then he's been pretty resistant ever since, though not as much as the ring sling. If we go out, I'm starting to use the bucket more to do errands because at least there's no crying in the bucket! I don't want to be the kind of mom who never takes their kid out of the carseat/swing/bouncy chair, but I'm really at my wits end as to what to do with him. You should have seen the looks I got at Whole Foods today pushing my baby around in the carseat.

At around the same time as this is happening, he's having a hard time getting his 1+ hour naps in. I put him down at the right times that he would have napped at and he takes almost exactly a 30 minute nap. He used to nap from 1pm-3pm but now he won't do it! I need that nap and I think he needs that nap.

So basically, what's up with my babe? Why the sudden BW resistance? What's going on with these naps? I sense they may have the same root cause.

[Xavismom]

I remember my DS becoming really picky about BWing around that age. I just had to keep trying different holds and carriers to find something hed tolerate

nak

[Norasmomma]

Think about it this way, you'd get looks if he was screaming bloody murder too. If people are giving you looks because he's in the car seat whatever, if he's sleeping-the motto never wake a sleeping baby, also is never mess with a contented baby. Whatever mama, I don't judge anyone for keeping a baby happy, even if they are in a stroller for hours. Ignore the looks(I know very hard for a new mama), but try YOU know what your baby likes, they don't.

Not all babes like to be worn, my son decided he HATED anything but being carried in one arm, but DH or myself all.the.time. It's really hard to do everything with one arm, but you get used to it. Around here I get looks for not wearing my babe in an Ergo, but again DS HATES it, he doesn't like staring at my back, he only likes the hiking backpack. If he's a runner like his sister was, I'm getting one of those monkey backpack leash things, because he's be free to explore and look at stuff and safe. DD ran into the road once, luckily it was winter in our little tourist town otherwise it could have been disastrous.

[momto4plus4]

I TOTALLY agree with Norasmomma. As much as I'm into wearing my babe, you need to do what's best for you, your baby and your family. I have a screamer and there are times I just have to put him in the swing or the crib and let him scream. I'm a better mom for getting the break and NOTHING I do would calm him anyway.

I have really sore muscles in my shoulders/neck from the strain of carrying my babies so much (it started with ds1 who was a wreck). If ds is happy in the carseat there is NO way I'm taking him out of it when I go in a store, etc. Because I know that wearing him does not always equal happy.

Oh, and my 2 good sleepers always quit being good sleepers around 8-10 wks. Sorry.

Hang in there-you'll find a groove with him. And, like I learned, once you do, he'll change and you'll find a new one!

[october]

My babe is 5 months today and if there is anything that I've learned, it's that you can NOT get used to any kind of schedule or habits with a baby. Each week my daughter has a whole new rhythm, and I have to readjust accordingly. So although you were finding it pretty sweet to have some time between 1 and 3 in the afternoon to get things done, you have to let it go!

One suggestion I can offer, though, is that a cradle swing might help him have longer naps. You may not be able to control WHEN they happen, but you might be able to affect the duration! When Eden sleeps without movement, she will consistently wake up 30 minutes later. When she's in the swing, she wakes up momentarily, but the movement of the swing keeps her so entranced that she falls right back asleep.

She has slept for 3 hours in that thing.

Mostly all I want to say is that, bein a new mama for me has been all about constantly readjusting to baby's new needs and new tendencies. The moment you begin to depend on a habit, that's the moment they change it!

[jsh7809]

Mama, I'm in the same place, and I'm sorry. My babe is almost 5 months old, and she hasn't taken a nap longer than an hour since she was about a month old. UGH! It literally started driving me crazy (was kind of the straw that broke the camel's back with my PPD). I also work from home, and was really counting on those long naps to get some peace as well as work done. Well, unfortunately, it just hasn't worked that way - sometimes I can get her down for a 45 minute stretch but typically I need to be there with her to even get that.
And it SUCKS, and I am so sorry you're going through it too. I got so much advice but nothing helped - she just wants to take short naps, at least for now. I'm hoping she'll grow out of them and want fewer, longer naps once she can self soothe, but I'm not counting on it, just trying to go with the flow, because after the shock of the near-non existent napping set in, I realized that I can't control them. I just have to not listen when other people talk about their babies napping 2-3 hours or I want to break things. I've had to hire a sitter a few hours here and there so I can get work done, and DH is now in charge of bath time in the evenings so I can have some time for myself.
I"m sorry I can't help, I just wanted to tell you you're not alone. I don't know why every baby book I've seen says "here's how much sleep they need and how often they should be napping/ for how long", because almost every mother I've talked to about this says that their baby never napped longer than an hour, either. I just ordered the "No Cry Nap Solution" so we'll see - some babies get to be better nappers as they get older, but some don't. I just have to hope for the best!
Good luck

[MammaB21]

Haven't read any responses yet.

I guess I feel like for me I believe in baby wearing so much because I feel like it's what most babies want. The reason I do it is because DS enjoys it. It settles him down. He likes being close and warm and tight in our wrap. At the moment, he actually hates his car seat. If he ever stopped liking it, we'd stop doing it. Baby wearing in and of itself does not equal good parenting. Good parenting is giving your baby what they need and some babies actually don't like to be worn. The thing that always gets me about infants going EVERYWHERE in their bucket seats is when you see them crying and the parents are swinging the seat around or shoving a pacifire in their mouth like it's not allowed to take the baby out. Keeping your baby in a place where you know your baby is happy is a whole other situation. Don't worry about the onlookers. You're doing what's best for you and baby.

The only suggestion I have about why baby may not like it is the hold might be off. Maybe baby wants to be facing out? Perhaps try a few different holds and see if anything changes.

[newmamalizzy]

I second jsh7809's response almost to the word. I never really thought about my DDs naps until she stopped taking them. She liked being worn in the Moby when she was very young, but then started to resist. We've tried lots of carries and carriers, but she just doesn't like to be worn right now. It was hard for me to let that go, especially when the new Mothering issue with the huge story about all the benefits of babywearing came out. I also felt like my life could not go on if I couldn't wear my DD, since I couldn't get anything done. As several PPs have said, the most important things are to find solutions that work for you (whether it's AP picture perfect or not), and try to flow with the constant changes. One other thing - It's really important for your baby to have down time. I think a lot of babies have this when they're worn and mom is doing chores and not really paying attention to them. Because I wasn't wearing my DD, I ended up actively interacting with her almost constantly. This was driving me crazy, but I've since realized it's exhausting for her, too. Now (at 5 mos) I'm finally starting to be more careful about giving her time to zone out. I think it will help both of us stay calmer.

[tzs]

ugh! whole foods in seattle with a baby in a bucket seat. i'm so sorry.
reminds me of the time i was shopping at a coop in san fransisco with a diet coke in a mcdonalds cup

[ArtsyHeartsy]

It's funny, where I live it's not very progressive so I get weird looks when I wear my baby! Everyone has their baby in their carseats in the carts. I have had people and even little kids ask me if there is a baby in there...uhm no, I have 3 strangely shaped boobs!

I can totally relate though. DD is almost 8 weeks and will not nap, I lay down with her and watch some trashy show until she falls asleep, then I get up and she wakes up! Let's just say I have watched a lot of crap lately! I have gotten her to take about 3-4 naps that were longer than an hour, since birth. I spent most of today laying down with her. She won't sleep in bouncy or swing.

Basically I wouldn't feel bad if I were you, let him sleep where he's happy and who cares what people think if he's happy and you are sane!

I did find a position in the wrap that dd really likes, that you may want to try, it doesn't seem to be really popular, but it's almost like an upright cradle hold, she sits sideways on my chest with one arm hanging out, she loves looking around and will usually fall asleep. It's just really hard right now because it's very hot here. Here are the videos I watched for the "semi reclined" hold on the "basic X" video. I watched TONS of videos before I found some that worked well for me, this site has a lot of them.

Good luck!

[HeckedyPeg]

It took me a while to get DS (2months) used to being worn (in Moby)- I just started with small walks, like to the mailboxes and took him out when he got fussy, but each time was a bit longer, and now he loves it. I had to face him outward though, because he really wants to see what's happening in the world, and that made a big difference too. It seems like his nap times change daily, and he often just takes a lot of mini-naps through the day (it also depends if we're at home, or out and about). I usually nurse him to sleep and then can put him down in the swing or the vibrating bounce chair thingee.

Originally Posted by ArtsyHeartsy

It's funny, where I live it's not very progressive so I get weird looks when I wear my baby! Everyone has their baby in their carseats in the carts. I have had people and even little kids ask me if there is a baby in there...uhm no, I have 3 strangely shaped boobs!

Same thing where I live! I usually get curious yet friendly smiles, but I've also gotten some downright dirty looks (why???)! Ha, people are strange.

[jennybear]

I'm giggling over Whole Foods--I live pretty close to the one on Roosevelt and know what you mean.

Honestly, once DD got beyond the brand newbie stage (she's 8 months now), I found it near impossible to do much work when she's awake. I can check email periodically or do things around the house, but only stuff I can drop every 90 seconds or so to get her out of mischief. :

Is there anyway you could get a helper once in a while to play with the baby?

[ShwarmaQueen]

Agreeing with the PPs. Neither of my babes were regular sleepers, and 30 min was their norm. They loved to see what I was doing at all times, so a hip or a lap was/is where they spent most of their time awake.

[c'est moi]

Originally Posted by tzs

ugh! whole foods in seattle with a baby in a bucket seat. i'm so sorry.
reminds me of the time i was shopping at a coop in san fransisco with a diet coke in a mcdonalds cup

thank you for this comment because i could not for the life of me understand why she'd be getting looks at people. personally, i don't see why anyone would give a disapproving look to a person with a content baby in an otherwise safe situation.

if your baby doesn't like the sling or wrap, then so be it. doesn't mean your baby will feel that way next week though.

[jabeen]

Around that age (well more like 10 wks I think), my son was really not interested in being froggied in a carrier. So I'd try legs out with the Moby. He also likes to have his arms out. Have you tried different carrier positions?