Originally Posted by GoBecGo
While i agree that concerns should be treated with respect, i think it is essentially controlling to ask your partner to do something in a very specific way so you can be comfortable with it when it is a benign act which is for the good of your child and/or merely something which the partner wants to do which harms no-one. Imagine a woman posted that her husband would support a vaginal birth so long as she was stood up to do it so the mw/ob didn't get a full look at her vulva, or that he would allow a baby so long as she had a cs to "save" her pelvic floor for him....i'm sure we would all be pretty up-in-arms about that. Either one is supportive of BF, and accepts that it's going to be a little different for each motherbabe pairing (i am as supportive of my under-the-cover friends as i am of my totally-on-show friends - they are all doing what they need to do to feed their babies), or one is not. My DH would be not-so-politely asked to keep it to himself if he felt that he had any right to tell me what i could do and/or how i could do it with my own body.
I TOTALLY AGREE.
And I really like the vaginal birth parallel.
Allowing a partner to put limits on how I use my
body to feed my/our child in a way that comes naturally and comfortably to me most certainly would not be self-respectful, respectful of my child, or respectful of nursing women and children in general. That's just how I feel. I have a responsibility to advocate for the natural and normal way to feed my child wherever my child needs to be fed. The more breasts people see outside of pornography and sex and media, the better. Hiding my breasts for the sake of "modesty" only perpetuates those notions of what breasts are for. My breasts do not belong to my partner. They belong to me. That's why they're attached to my
body. I will cover if that's what makes me
feel comfortable and confident, or I won't. If my partner wants a chest to cover and protect from public view, they have their own. Why aren't male-bodied people made to feel embarrassed about their
nipples in public? They aren't usually feeding their children with them but can reveal them in broad daylight on their front lawns. I'm not going to apologize for feeding my child with the milk that my extraordinary body will have made to feed them. Allowing a partner's socialized sexualization of my breasts (and their jealousy/possession over my body/sexuality) to stop me from doing what's best for myself, my child, and families in general? Not going to happen.
But... I'm not going to judge other women for making these choices based on their partners' discomfort. I can only make choices for myself and honor each woman's place in their personal journey.