NPD- Anyone have a narcissistic mother/stepmother?

[Fedup]

Do you have family that may have Narcissistic Personality Disorder? Can you please share how you deal with them? Thanks.

[peainthepod]

Hi,

Both of my parents are NPD and my mother has strong BPD (Borderline) tendencies. My stepmother (whom my father divorced) is a textbook BPD and sociopath, so I know all about the whole mess of crazy abuse that goes with having narcissistic/borderline parents.

The resources that have helped me most were:

Understanding the Borderline Mother by Christine Ann Lawson

Toxic Parents by Susan Forward

The Drama of the Gifted Child and For Your Own Good by Alice Miller

Will I Ever Be Good Enough? by Karyl McBride

Facing the Facts - web forum for those affected by people with BPD (BPD and NPD are not the same thing but they have many overlapping characteristics, and BPDs often marry NPDs, or have NPD children)

Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers, also has a great web forum

The Characteristics of Narcissistic Mothers

I wish I had an easy answer for you. I tried setting healthy boundaries with my birth parents for many years, and found that it only made things worse, especially since they both adamantly insist that it's all in my head and that they've never done anything wrong. After a few years of weekly therapy, tons of research and journaling, and lots of agonizing self-reflection, I realized it would never get better and eventually decided to cut them both out of my life completely.

PM me if you want to talk about it with someone who's been there and won't judge you for your feelings.

[Shantimama]

Surviving the Borderline Parent is another great book. It doesn't deal with NOD directly but many of the issues are similar.

[super8]

My father has NPD and after years of trying and setting bounderies I finally just cut him out of my life. It's not easy. I feel guilty about it at times but it is what is best for my me and my children. Having a Toxic parent is a difficult struggle but I found the adult children of narcissitic parents web site and forum helpful. Best wishes